


Tape Deck

by BarracudaHeart, CosmicTanzanite



Series: The Adventures of Lars of the Stars [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Based on Lars of the Stars Official Leaks and Leaked Clip and Synopsis, Developing Relationship, Dramedy, Eventual Relationships, Forced Marriage, Homesickness, Kidnapping, Multi, Outer Space, Post Lars of the Stars, Resurrection, Song Lyrics, Space Pirates, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2018-12-26 05:46:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 74,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12052563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarracudaHeart/pseuds/BarracudaHeart, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmicTanzanite/pseuds/CosmicTanzanite
Summary: It can get hectic in space. Both with the adventures, and the relationships. And especially when your overall inexperienced childhood friend joins your crew. At least there's music.





	1. Major Tom

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! We've collaborated on a multichapter story inspired by the upcoming adventures of Lars of the Stars! We based this story following the leaks of that episode both from San Diego Comic Con, and following, such as a subsequent clip and a leaked synopsis of that episode. So this story is based on the possible events following that/Lars' story arc having ended. We hope you enjoy this story as much as we have enjoyed writing it!

_ Earth below us _

_ Drifting, falling _

_ Floating weightless _

_ Calling, calling home… _

Having slid his headphones back over his ears, Lars habitually cranked the volume up to the loudest setting and reclined back in his seat, shutting his eyes. His momentary respite never lasted very long while cruising through space.

His mother had sent him her old cassette player in an earlier care package, and he had been keeping it safely tucked in his coat pocket this whole time. It wasn't like his iPod, and the music choices from that old mix tape were repetitive, but they did get his mind off things. Plus it had great battery life. 

He drummed his fingers as he mumbled along to the music, all but ignoring the activity  behind him as his crew moved about the ship. 

So far everything was normal.

“A-aaah no don't touch that!!” Rhodonite squeaked, rushing over to a large control panel.

“But this screen is flashing!!” Ronaldo suddenly spoke up.

Lars felt his hand reaching up to once again rub his forehead. Oh yeah. That had happened.

A short while after getting a new ship and deciding it was best to stay off earth if he was a wanted criminal, Lars had found himself reluctantly allowing another crew member, his old childhood best friend. The guy had basically been begging to join him up in space, and even when Lars had pointed out Ronaldo would need to eat, it didn't stop him from shoving three months worth of granola bars, fruit, chips and Gatorade in a backpack and turning an empty chamber on the ship into a makeshift sleeping area.

Two weeks happened, half of Ronaldo's food was gone and Lars was close to strangling him from how many questions he seemed to ask.

He understood that the human had a curious nature and a lot of things he wanted to ask him about space. Of course he did. But with Ronaldo being...well Ronaldo, it was easy for him to get carried away. Almost too easy.

Pausing his music and removing the headphones from his ears, Lars averted his attention to whatever Ronaldo had gotten himself into this time.

“What’s going on?” he asked Rhodonite, voice dripping with annoyance.

Before Rhodonite could open her mouth to speak, Ronaldo beat her to it. “That thingamajig over there. It's flashing, and she won't let me touch it.”

“I told you to never touch anything you aren't familiar with!” the fusion warned him. “One wrong move and Homeworld will be hot on our trail.”

“But it's flashing and making noise and judging by my experience with things like that, it's not gonna stop until someone touches it,” Ronaldo informed her. “Trust me, I know about this. When my dad’s smoke detector broke last year, it wouldn't stop going off at night while I was trying to sleep so I had to…”

Lars let the conversation between his bickering crewmates resume behind him without much thought. He moved his focus to the flashing control panel in question. 

Hmmm. That was strange. It was telling him that someone was transmitting signals to the ship to contact him through what was more or less Homeworld’s version of a video call. 

He was hesitant to pick up. Perhaps it was Steven or one of the other Crystal Gems warning them about something. But if that was the case, wouldn't he have just come through his head instead of contacting him in a way he hadn’t even tried before?

Lars studied the device closer, trying to make sure it wasn't busted. Maybe Ronaldo spilled soda on it or something and didn't want to fess up. However, everything seemed to be in check which confused him even more.

Although the panel hadn't been used since his return to space, it wasn't like Lars had never seen it do this before. During his first voyage through the stars, it lit up almost daily. That was back when…

Oh no. It couldn't be.

“And that, my dear friend Rhodonite, is why you must take care of any sort of beeping, flashing or spontaneously combusting items in your possession as soon as possible!” Grinning from ear to ear, Ronaldo leaned over Lars and pressed his hand hard against the screen. Rhodonite gasped in shock and fled out of sight before the caller’s face could pop up, wanting to stay hidden in case it was a Homeworld gem who had contacted them.    
  
Just as Lars had feared, an unfortunately familiar face with dark green pointed hair and sharp glistening fangs flashed onto the screen before him. Her eyes almost instantly lit up at the sight of him, and her lips curled into a toothy grin as she laughed.    
  
So she had made it out alive after all.

“God damnit,” Lars cursed as he was met with Emerald’s smug grin, ignoring Ronaldo’s confused expression.

“You thought you got rid of me that easily, didn’t you,  _ Captain _ ???” she spoke in a deriding tone, narrowing her eye as she looked at the off-colored human’s irritated expression.

“Oh great, Emerald. Last person I wanted to see in my lifetime.” Lars slumped back in his chair, trying to look disinterested. “I gotta say I expected you to be more charred and on fire, based on what happened during our last little rendezvous.”

“This isn’t over!!” she insisted darkly, pointing at the screen.

“You destroyed the ship, you had me stranded again for who knows how many months, what else do you want from me?”   
  
“I want your body roasting on a spit or incinerated to ashes!” she gnashed her teeth, slamming a fist on her control panel. “You will pay for what you did to my beautiful Sun Incinerator!”

“Who are you again?” Ronaldo tilted his head, butting his way into view on the screen.

“What the...what sort of hideous creature is  _ this _ ???” Emerald spoke with disgust, looking at the new inhabitant on the Off-Color’s team.

Ronaldo cleared his throat and re-adjusted his glasses. “Ronaldo Fryman, intergalactic ambassador to Earth, paranormal activity specialist, and-”   
  
“Shut the hell up,” Lars hissed at Ronaldo, trying to shove him off camera, and gave a mirthless grin. “He’s just a passenger until we reach our next destination,” he lied through his teeth, “and we certainly aren’t telling you that.”

“Oh, no need,” she chuckled darkly, “I can track your coordinates from any solar system within this galaxy.”

“Well, technically, I don’t think that’s possible, considering the breadth of space and exactly how far apart each system is-” Ronaldo began, only to be shoved off screen again by Lars, who was keeping a foot stretched out in case he had to kick him.

“Goodness, that creature is annoying,” Emerald spoke with irritation.

“Glad we agree,” Lars muttered, glaring both at her, and his human companion.

“I’m right here ya know,” Ronaldo piped up but Lars ignored him. 

“So wait a minute,” he continued, “how are you even alive? You told me that Homeworld would smash your gem into pieces if your ship got destroyed seconds before you blew it up yourself.”

“Well that’s what they _would_ have done if I had reported back to them!” Emerald cackled. “After coming to terms with what I had done and what would become of me if I were to show my face anywhere near the Diamonds again, a few of my trusty Citrines and I decided to live a life on our own, separate from Homeworld.”

“So you went rogue?” Lars asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Rogue is a strong word,” she retorted. “I’m just not under anyone’s rule anymore. I call the shots around here now, first and foremost. We’re just a crew of gems with one common goal: crushing you and those miserable Off-Colors like gravel beneath our gravity connectors!”

Emerald tilted her head back and laughed  maniacally while Lars looked on with a deadpan expression. Great. He didn’t know that returning to space would mean having to deal with her again, but perhaps he should have assumed it with how wild his adventures up here normally got.   
  
“Sorry to interrupt, but isn’t that exactly what going rogue means?” A voice piped up from beside him reminding Lars of the other annoying thing he had to deal with on his voyage.

“Ron, I  _ swear to god _ ,” Lars pointed at him with a warning look, “if you talk again, I will  _ staple your lips _ to the bumper of this ship.”

Ronaldo shuffled backward, muttering something under his breath as he waited to the side of the screen.

After putting the human in his place, Lars turned around to face Emerald. “But yeah, isn’t that exactly what going rogue means?”   
  
“The details aren’t important!” Emerald snapped. “What  _ is _ important is that you can’t run from me now, you off-colored scum! I’m going to track your coordinates and hijack your ship and take you and your crew hostage and chain you to the wall in a prison cell and leave you there for several days before I-”   
  
The volume of the call suddenly dropped completely. Surprised by the absence of Emerald yapping his ears off, Lars looked behind to see Ronaldo holding a small remote in his hand and pressing his finger on its middle button.   
  
“Ronaldo!”   
  
“What? She was giving me a headache.”    
  
“Give me that, you idiot!” Lars hissed, snatching the remote from him and pressing the mute button again to undo it.   
  
“-and then you and your miserable little gang of defects will be no more!”

“Oh my god, do you have a hobby or something,” Lars huffed. “Can’t you go try to blow up some  _ other _ space pirate in some  _ other _ galaxy?”   


“I won’t rest until you pay for what you did to my ship!!” she bared her teeth with a growl.

“If you love your ship so much, why don’t you arrange a marriage with it?” Ronaldo blurted obnoxiously.

Emerald was about to scream, but paused midway, confused. “...Wait what’s… _ may-ri-age _ ?”

Lars swallowed hard, and slapped a hand over Ronaldo’s mouth, and the other one over the call button. “BYE!”   
  
Once Emerald’s face had disappeared from the screen, Lars sighed in relief and removed his hand from Ronaldo’s mouth.   
  
“Wow,” the human remarked, “she sure is annoying. I don’t know how you put up with it.”   
  
“ _ You! _ ” Lars snarled, pointing his finger directly in Ronaldo’s face. “Don’t you  _ ever _ do anything like that again! Do you see why I didn’t want you to touch that now?”   
  
Ronaldo flinched, raising his hands slightly in defense. “Calm down, man! It’s not like I knew what was going to happen.”   
  
Lars opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a dainty voice behind him.   
  
“Captain Lars! A troublesome and unfortunate vision has been bestowed upon me!”   
  
Lowering his arm and taking a deep breath to calm himself down, Lars turned around and gently addressed his fellow crew member. “Yes, Padparadscha?”   
  
“Emerald has returned!” the Sapphire warned him. “She survived her ship’s explosion, cut ties with Homeworld and wants revenge. We must be careful!”   
  
Not having the heart to tell the small gem that he was already aware of this, he nodded in response. “Thanks, Padparadscha. You go alert the others, and I’ll keep an eye out for any signs of her.”

“My pleasure,” she replied before walking off to spread the news.   
  
Once Padparadscha was gone, Lars turned back around and stared icily at Ronaldo. “Look just...don’t do anything like that again, okay?”   
  
“Got it,” Ronaldo promised, but Lars had a feeling that this wouldn’t be the last conversation he had to have with his childhood friend on the topic.

After a moment, Ronaldo wanted to slip in one quick question to Lars, but the space captain had already slipped his headphones back on his ears, signaling he wanted to be left alone.

Sighing, Ronaldo went over to the window, pressing his hands and face against the glass, wanting the closest look at the stars that he possibly could.   


* * *

 

Meanwhile, Emerald reclined back in her seat, closing her eyes in frustration. She was getting more and more impatient about doing away with those worthless Off-Colors. 

Once she had them destroyed, maybe she’d be back in favor with the Diamonds. A bit of a far reach but not totally impossible. Besides, that hideous pink one’s head would look great on the front of her new ship.

But first she had some other business to conduct while the thought was fresh in her head.

“Computer,” she spoke up, “tell me what  _ 'marriage’ _ means.”

 

_ 4,3,2,1... _


	2. Don't Stop Me Now

_ I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky _

_ Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity _

_ I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva _

_ I'm gonna go go go _

_ There's no stopping me... _ **  
**  


Lars leaned against the wall of the ship while listening to the music, tapping his foot to the beat. He glanced out the window closest to him to get a glimpse of the stars and couldn’t help but smile. Things had been pretty peaceful ever since he woke up about an hour ago.    
  
Emerald hadn’t made contact in a week so perhaps she had been caught by Homeworld or blew her own ship up again. Whatever happened to her wasn’t his business anyway. He just wanted to allow himself the satisfaction of believing she might finally be out of his hair for good despite her short reappearance.    
  
Nothing else out of the ordinary had occurred either. The ship seemed to be holding up. There were no signs that Homeworld had found their whereabouts. Steven had popped by for a visit the other day, bringing with him tales of his adventures on Earth and more food for-   
  
“C’mon guys! You’re supposed to chase m-ahh!”   
  
Suddenly Lars found himself on the floor with a thud, his headphones no longer in contact with his ears and a certain irritating and rambunctious human on top of him. He heaved a long sigh, realizing that he’d forgotten a key component to having a completely peaceful journey through the stars: no Ronaldo. So much for that.   
  
“My bad!” Ronaldo apologized, getting to his feet and offering Lars his hand. Instead of taking it, the captain glared coldly at him and got up by himself, brushing his clothes off and pausing the music.   
  
“Watch where you’re going!” he snapped. “You shouldn’t be running that fast through here unless there’s an emergency.”   
  
“But I’m trying to teach them how to play tag,” Ronaldo informed him, pointing to the Rutile twins who were now standing behind him.   
  
“Actually, he’s right,” one of them spoke. “It’s not a good idea to run through here so quickly.”   
  
“We could break something or cause a disturbance,” the other continued.   
  
Lars almost made a comment on how Ronaldo’s existence was a disturbance but decided to hold his tongue. 

“I suppose I'll have to teach you guys some other Earth game,” Ronaldo rubbed his chin in thought.

“Some other game that's not Tag, Hide and Go Seek, Red Rover, Capture the Flag, or Get Down Mr. President,” Lars grumbled as he listed off previously tried games. The latter one had almost resulted in a fractured pelvis. 

Sighing, Ronaldo flopped down in a chair. “I'm getting bored here!”

“Well, we could always send you back to Earth,” Lars murmured, glancing to the twins, who glanced at him, then at Ronaldo.

“Are you kidding?! I'd miss out on the epic space adventures I was promised!”

“Uh...I don't think anyone promised that,” one of the Rutiles spoke softly.

“Well, it's a given,” Ronaldo shrugged. 

“Ahh, whatever okay,” Lars rubbed his forehead, desperately wanting some peace and quiet. “Why don't you go see how Fluorite is doing down in the engine room? She might wanna hear whatever ideas you come up with.”

Fluorite, god praise, had the patience and calm like no other, which Lars was incredibly grateful for. He often would retire to sit in her company when he didn't want to converse with anyone else.

When he was sure Ronaldo had shuffled downstairs, Lars sighed, looking to the twins. “I'm sorry I have to wrangle him so much.”

“It’s not that bad,” one of them shrugged with a soft smile.

“He does sort of make this more fun,” her twin admitted.

Lars gave a small shrug. “Yeah...guess so.”

Before he could relax, Padparadscha hurried over. “Captain, I came quickly to warn you!! We have unwelcome company approaching our ship!”

Lars heard the loud bang of the ship's hatch forcefully being opened, then saw Rhodonite screaming and running towards him, tensing as he realized Padparadscha’s late predictions never failed to disappoint, and that their guest was already on the ship.

He groaned, “...can you at least predict who it is?”

“No need to introduce myself,” a shrill voice chirped, followed by a small blue gem flying through the doorway from the ship hatch into the galley. “I'm already here.”  
  
Lars felt his blood run cold as he was faced with the gem who got him taken away from his home in the first place.  
  
“ _Aquamarine_.”  
  
“Aquama _who_?” Ronaldo asked but Lars ignored him. Now definitely wasn’t the time for any of his questions, even valid ones.  
  
“Surprise!” Aquamarine laughed, fluttering down to where she was level with the space pirate’s face. “I’m not sure who you are, but I’m not surprised that you’ve heard of m-oh my stars!”   
  
Aquamarine flew backwards in awe once she realized just who, or rather what, inhabited the ship she had tracked down. “A Lars! I don’t believe it! A supposed rebel ship from Earth was shocking enough, but one flown by a human? Unbelievable! Does your pink hue make you a special type of Lars?”  
  
He sighed, realizing that she still didn’t exactly understand the concept of humans. “You got it wrong, hon. I’m the same Lars from last time. I’ve just died a little since then.”  
  
His words only made her smile widen. “Even better! I was informed of your escape but assumed you were a lost cause. For once I’m glad to be proven wrong.”   
  
The winged gem flew toward the hatch she came from and got a better look at the ship, as well as the surrounding crew members. “Eugh! You sure have found yourself an unfortunate band of gems to travel with, human. What do we have here? A useless Sapphire, a shameful cross-fusion, two hideously defective Rutiles and...what in Homeworld’s name is _that_?”  
  
Ronaldo opened his mouth to speak. “My name is R-”  
  
Lars quickly plastered his hands over the human’s mouth, riled up by Aquamarine’s rude comments toward his friends and not even the slightest bit willing to put up with anything Ronaldo had to say right now. “Forget him! How did you find us?”  
  
“Easily," Aquamarine scoffed. "I was scouting the galaxies near Homeworld’s planets for any unusual activity when my sensors picked up a foreign object on the back of your ship. It was determined to be from Earth. Therefore I assumed the ship you’re flying couldn’t possibly have been one of ours, and it appears I was right.”  
  
The captain screwed up his face in confusion. “Wh...what object? Did we leave something out there?” He looked to his crew for answers, but they all shrugged as if they had no idea what was she was talking about either.  
  
It was then that Lars felt something tugging at his arm and realized that Ronaldo was signaling for him to take his hands off his mouth. A sinking feeling forming in his gut, he braced himself and did so.  
  
Once he was able to, Ronaldo spoke. “Uhhhhh...that foreign object didn’t happen to be a medium-sized sticker that said _'I was abducted by aliens and all I got was this lousy bumper sticker'_ did it?”

Tensing up, Lars turned around, mouthing a nearly silent, but completely ballistic, ' _ what the hell is wrong with you?! _ ” to his companion, fists clenching like they were ready to wring his neck.

Aquamarine giggled shrilly as she projected the aforementioned bumper sticker on a screen from her wand. “You Earth creatures are so useless. It’s like you put targets on yourselves for us to find you!”

Lars had to postpone any Ronaldo-strangling when a large figure stepped through the doorway and stood beside Aquamarine.

“Ah, Topaz! You have my ship in their docking bay, yes? This should only take a few minutes,” the small gem waved dismissively. “Could you be a dear and grab hold of these Off-Colors, and make them... _ comfortable _ ?”

As Topaz stepped forward, Lars stared into her eyes, focused and hoping she’d remember him...or at least recognize him.

It took a long handful of seconds as she stepped forward, but the look on her face changed from stoicism to one of confusion, then of troubled contemplation.

_ Please don’t do this _ , Lars prayed in his head as she made a few hesitant steps forward then glanced awkwardly to one of his shipmates, as if she were going to select one of them first. But she remained frozen, trying to decide between gaining her resolve back when Steven was with her or going back to following orders.

“Well, Topaz?”

The yellow gem worriedly glanced around, but before an actual decision could be made, a loud triumphant shout was heard as Ronaldo vaulted a chair and rushed forward to tackle her, trying to be the hero. 

Aquamarine saw this loud, obnoxious human charging at her bodyguard, and with an irritated snort, grabbed for her wand, aiming it at him. Lars gasped as he saw the electric sparks charging at the tip of her weapon and sprang forward.

As soon as he had jumped in front of Ronaldo, he cried out in shock and pain as the bright blue beam struck his body, and he doubled over onto the floor.

“Captain!” the Off-Colors gasped in unison.

Lars winced as he struggled to get up, head pounding as he was recollecting himself, and Ronaldo stepped backward, visibly shaken.

“L-Lars-”

“Step back,” Lars growled under his breath, giving a killer glare to Ronaldo, who made no effort to argue this time, joining the huddled crowd of the crew.

Topaz was visibly concerned for Lars as he was stumbling to stand back on his feet but reluctantly went back to her default expression of stone as Aquamarine flittered up towards her shoulder, dusting herself off as she sat down daintily. “That was quite a waste of my time. Consider this an act of mercy in that I don’t take you all prisoner right now.”

The whole company looked at her in confusion, but then her cheeky grin made their stomachs knot.

“I’ll just report your whereabouts to the Diamonds instead,” she cooed, then clapped her hands. “Alright then, Topaz. Let’s leave our friends here to their business and let them decide if they want to come flying back to Homeworld, begging for mercy,” she teased, giving a wave as Topaz pivoted on her foot, exiting out the doorway, not once looking back at Lars.

After a half minute of silence, Ronaldo let out a loud puff of air in relief. “Well that was a close one, huh? Think we scared that little blue pipsqueak?”

The crew all glanced away awkwardly, sans for Lars, who seethed with livid fury at the other, rubbing his shoulder as he started to saunter away. Ronaldo could have seriously gotten them all  _ killed _ by that little gremlin.

“Captain...” The Rutiles quietly approached Lars as he was walking back to his seat, worried he was injured. “Are you okay?”

“...I’m fine,” he muttered, glancing down at the floor, refusing to look at Ronaldo or even the rest of his crew.

“Lars, look out!” Padparadscha cried. “Aquamarine is going to-”

“ _ I know! _ ” he snapped.

Realizing his outburst when the Sapphire flinched, Lars felt guilt wash over him and mentally cursed himself for being so brash with her. He bit his lip and took a deep breath to calm himself before speaking to her again in a much gentler tone. “I’m sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. Thank you very much for the information, Padparadscha, but I need to be alone right now, okay?”   
  
Padparadscha nodded slowly in understanding, and Rhodonite put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her and try to convey that Lars wasn’t angry with her.   
  
“Can one of you go tell Fluorite what happened?” the captain requested.   
  
“We’re on it,” Rhodonite replied. “But first...are you sure you're going to be alright?”   
  
The captain looked down, studying himself as quickly as possible for any signs of serious injury. He still hurt a lot, but it wasn’t as bad as you would expect someone to feel seconds after being zapped with an alien’s weapon that probably wasn’t even meant for humans in the first place. In fact, it was kind of weird that it had such a minimal effect on him…   
  
“Yeah,” he finally decided. “I’m sore, but I just need to sleep it off or something.”   
  
“Thank the stars,” the fusion sighed in relief. “Don’t hesitate to come to us if you need anything. I hope you recover shortly! C’mon Padparadscha.” Rhodonite gave one last reassuring glance at Lars before leading the smaller gem down to where the engine and Fluorite were located.   
  
Once they had shuffled out of sight, Lars turned to the twins. “Can you two keep a lookout while I’m gone?”   
  
“Yes Captain,” one said.   
  
“Of course,” the other followed up. “We hope you rest well.”   
  
Lars thanked them with a nod and limped off to his personal headquarters. Ronaldo stared at him as he left. For once in his life, he didn’t know what to say or if he should even say anything at all.   
  
  


_ I wanna make a supersonic man out of you _ ...   
  
  



	3. For What It's Worth

_ There's battle lines being drawn _

_ Nobody's right if everybody's wrong _

_ Young people speaking their minds _

_ Getting so much resistance from behind… _

****  
Lars didn’t leave his headquarters for hours, but the music from his tape could be heard from almost every room in the ship. Ronaldo guessed that the captain was blaring it in an attempt to drown out any other noise, namely his voice. While Lars was doing that, Ronaldo had decided to venture into his own room and think about what happened. He also needed his fair share of alone time.   
  
He was internally beating himself up about yesterday’s situation and thinking of what he could have done to prevent it. Maybe he should go back to Earth like Lars suggested. He absolutely loved it here, and it had been a lifelong dream of his to travel the cosmos, but something about the way Lars acted around him tampered with his enjoyment of the trip. Ronaldo kept trying to tell himself that if Lars didn’t want him there, he wouldn’t have allowed him to join, but it was as if he would rather have anyone else in the world on the ship with him than Ronaldo and it hurt. It  _ really _ hurt.   
  
He just didn’t understand what he was doing to make his old friend so cross with him. Unlike Lars, he hadn’t changed much since they were kids, as well as best friends. Of course he had grown to realize a few things he didn’t understand at that age, but overall he was still the same overly-excitable and enthusiastic boy he was years ago. What had suddenly made that unappealing to Lars?   
  
Of course they had that huge fight that went on for years and involved a lot of dodging and ignoring the other and eventually a much regretted attempt at human sacrifice, but they had talked things out weeks before Ronaldo asked to join him in space. Perhaps some of that was still lingering in the air and making the tension between them even thicker. He had forgiven Lars and was extremely sorry for all the trouble he’d caused him, but maybe his old friend hadn’t completely warmed back up to him yet.   
  
And how could Ronaldo blame him? He hadn’t exactly been the greatest friend to him back then, and he realized this now. Of course Lars wouldn’t want to immediately go back to being his best friend in the entire world, but on the other hand, it had been a month or so since they’d made up and Ronaldo had done his best to prove to him that he didn’t harbor any hard feelings. Why wasn’t it working? Did he ruin this forever too?   
  
The human sighed and looked out the window of his room to watch the passing stars and planets as they moved slowly through the atmosphere. At least he could have a moral crisis over his broken friendship with Lars in space and not back in his cramped room at home. That was a plus.    
  
After a few minutes of stargazing, Ronaldo got to his feet and headed toward his door. Maybe a walk around the ship and a small conversation with the Off-Colors would cheer him up. He had promised to explain how a microwave works to Padparadscha yesterday before running off to play tag with the Rutile twins. Perhaps she would still be interested in learning.   
  
As soon as Ronaldo exited his room, he took a quick step backwards upon realizing that he was about to collide with someone passing by. Adjusting his glasses, he noticed that it was no other than Lars himself. Perfect timing. He gulped as he made eye contact with his former best friend for the first time since yesterday’s incident.   
  
“M-morning Lars,” he greeted him nervously. “Uhhh...how was your nap?”   
  
Lars responded with a cold glare that said “get the hell out of my way” and grumbled something under his breath before walking in the other direction.    
  
Oh geeze. This  _ was _ gonna be hard to make up to him.

“Wait!” He held a hand up to try and get Lars’ attention, and when the captain turned around with a skeptical look, he took in a deep breath. “Is...there anything I can do to help?”

Lars stared blankly at him, then spoke coldly. “I don’t know,” he snarled and kept walking away.

“W-well, what should I be doing right now?”

“I don’t know! Something that doesn’t nearly get me or my crew killed?” Lars suddenly snapped.

“Look, about yesterday, I wasn’t thinking-”

“Oh- _ ho _ , it’s not just yesterday,” Lars cut in, whirling around in place and looking pretty pissed off. “You’re  _ never _ thinking! Since day one, all you’ve done is be a reckless moron and get us into more trouble than we ever had to deal with before I let you come on board.”

“I-I was just trying to figure out what all this means like...why you changed so much, why gems are the way they are, why you’re even here-”

“You really want to know why I’m  _ here? _ ” Lars laughed almost incredulously, looking infuriated. “I’m  _ here _ because I can’t even go  _ back _ to Earth without some crazy alien threatening my life or my family and friends! I’m  _ here _ because my crew needs me, and I need them! And I actually belong here now, considering I’m probably not even  _ human _ anymore.”

“But you-”

“Look at me, Fryman! I’m pink! I belong here! You? I don’t know  _ where _ you belong, but it’s probably not in fucking space. You know why? Because y’know what happens to humans in space? They  _ die _ . I  _ died _ on some alien planet, and I got brought back from the dead, and I don’t even  _ know _ what I’ve become. I hardly ever need to eat anymore and until you started exhausting me just from talking so much, I’ve haven’t needed to sleep! I don’t know if I’m ever gonna grow normally like Sadie or the Cool Kids or you! Hell, I might end up being stuck in space for years and not even know time has passed until I go back home and see everyone  _ dead! _ ”   


Ronaldo’s face had blanched as Lars furiously ranted, and he took a step back, trying to come up with words but the well had dried.

Lars ran a hand over his face in frustration, hissing out a breath. “You...just...go sit somewhere and don’t do anything that makes me have to return to Earth just to get _ rid of you _ .”

Ronaldo knew what he should do. It was obvious that Lars needed even more time to himself and specifically a few more hours away from him. He should have stayed quiet and walked away just like any sensible human being would do. However, as usual, his mouth got the best of him, and he began to feel pain and rage bubbling up inside until he could no longer contain it.   
  
“No!” he responded, clearly frustrated. “I’m not going to sit around and be worthless all the time! That’s all I do at the shop, that’s all I did when I joined the Crystal Gems, that’s all I’ve done my entire life, and _ I’m sick of it! _ Lars, I came here because I want to help you. Of course I’ve always wanted to travel space and be a space hero and all that shit, but that’s not the only reason why I asked to tag along. I want to fix things like whatever’s going on with Homeworld, anything on the ship that needs it, our  _ friendship _ . I’m trying to make up for everything, but you won’t even give me a chance! Just like I tried for nearly a year to get you to talk to me again after you stormed out of my life like it was nothing over your god damned social status and a  _ picture _ .”    
  
Ronaldo’s voice was starting to crack with rage and something else, but he continued nonetheless. “Look, I’m sorry all of this happened to you, I really am, but I’m finding it hard to show much sympathy with you shutting me out of every aspect of your life like you wouldn’t care if I  _ died _ . And you know what? Maybe if you weren’t such an ornery self-centered asshole, you wouldn’t have gotten yourself in this situation in the first place!”    
  
Ronaldo stopped when he realized the comment he’d just made. He locked eyes with Lars, whose previously angered expression was quickly replaced with one that somehow looked more pained than his reaction to being shocked by an alien weapon.   
  
“I mean...of course it’s not your fault  _ entirely _ ,” Ronaldo rambled quickly, starting to sweat as he tried rewording his rather strong statement, “I’m just saying that maybe you sh-”   
  
“Go.”   
  
“But Lars, I didn’t mean to-”   
  
“ _ Get the fuck out of here!!! _ ” Lars screamed, rage clear in his eyes that were now beginning to leak tears.    
  
Without saying another word, the human fled the scene and retreated to his room once more, hearing Lars’ footsteps clang down the metal floor towards the galley, soon hollowly echoing out of earshot. Once he was alone again, he walked over to the same window he had previously been staring out of and pressed his face to the glass.   
  
He’d really done it this time. Ronaldo was beginning to feel like a curse placed upon the ship rather than a beloved member of the crew and childhood friend of the captain. 

“Maybe Lars  _ should _ just get rid of me.”

After a long silence, he quietly stepped out of his room and tiptoed towards the basement to sulk even further in a darker and more solitary environment. Lars was sitting in the captain’s chair, staring bleakly at the stars ahead. Ronaldo made no move to bother him, simply sauntering down the stairs and making sure he wasn’t seen.

Greeted by the darkly lit room, illuminated only by the bright green buttons and screen of the engine and all its functions, he slumped down on a seat and stared at the twinkling lights.

“Guess I’m just going to stay here until Lars takes me back to Earth,” Ronaldo mused quietly to himself.

_ “Then  more  company  for  me,” _ a warm voice spoke behind him, taking him by surprise.

“OH JEEz- oh hello, Fluorite,” Ronaldo sighed, waving at the large fusion who was curled behind him. “Today’s a rough day, sorry.”

“ _ Feel  free  to  share  your  thoughts _ ,” she smiled, glad to have someone to talk to while she worked with the engine and kept the ship gliding through space.

* * *

Lars had managed to wipe his eyes before he faced his crew, not saying anything for a few minutes once he was seated. Earlier that morning, Padparadscha had discovered their ship was nearing a new planet, and Lars deemed it would probably be a good idea to survey it and see if there was any place they could obtain more fuel for the ship. It wasn’t like there were gas stations anywhere on asteroids.

As he sat, staring ahead, all that he could think of was the night he left his house, not even thinking it might be the last time he’d see his parents as, well, himself. When he’d returned to Earth, pink and ambiguously alive, his mother had wept, and it made his heart ache. Sure, they were more or less fine with it now, but he could only imagine her thinking and realizing her child had basically  _ died _ .

He thought of Sadie too. How upset she’d been to hear about what had happened to him. How  _ guilty _ he’d felt when he saw her again. She’d been so worried about him and waiting for him to come home, and he wasn’t ever going to be the same boy she pined for. Sure she’d get over it, he figured, but it didn’t make him feel any less shitty.   
  
The comments about how he didn’t care for Ronaldo stung as well. Of course he was often annoyed by the human’s presence and bothered by his impulsive attempts to help that always went wrong, but somehow he just couldn’t hate him. In fact, one of the reasons he was so reluctant to let him on board was in fear of the same thing happening to him. He felt sick just thinking about what he would have to tell his father and brother if Ronaldo died in space because of him, especially if Steven wasn’t able to heal him for some reason. Lars just wanted to keep him safe, but apparently he couldn’t even do that right and only came off as some stoic dick who hated him. 

Ronaldo was basically right. This whole thing was his own fault. He’d just have to own up to that. But it didn’t hurt any less.

“Alright guys,” Lars spoke, voice strained. “Stay on course.”

 

_ Paranoia strikes deep _

_ Into your life it will creep _

_ It starts when you're always afraid _

_ Step out of line, the men come and take you away... _


	4. You've Got a Friend

  
_  
Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend? People can be so cold._

_They'll hurt you and desert you. They'll take your soul if you let them,_

_But don't you let them._

 

“...anyway, thanks for listening,” Ronaldo sighed as he lay against the large fusion’s body like a pillow.

“ _Anytime  my  dear_ ,” Fluorite slurred with assurance, patting the human on the top of his head. She quite liked him, even if the captain was constantly badmouthing him or irritated with his presence. He was so polite and charming to her, and she didn’t mind any excess quirkiness. Besides, she was basically a giant caterpillar. Who was she to judge?

Ronaldo hadn’t even noticed the music playing in the basement until he finished his long-winded and despairing talk with Fluorite and perked his head in direction to the sound. “Is that Lars’ music?”

_“He  left  one  of  those  tapes  down  here  for  me  to  listen  to  while  I  worked.  Isn’t  it  lovely?”_

“Mhm,” Ronaldo muttered, if only to be polite. “I remember when we were both little kids, we watched his mother use a cassette recorder to make all these tapes. It was...interesting.” He remembered having been sitting at the kitchen table, his chubby little fingers itching to touch the many colored buttons on Mrs. Barriga’s recorder, but ended up rapt in the different songs she’d played.

 _“I listened to these songs when I was a little girl”_ she had told him and Lars. _“Maybe someday you can make some with your own songs!”_

Ronaldo remembered her son’s excited gasp and smile at that prospect.  He wondered if, before this paradigm-shifting, life-changing saga of events that fell upon him, Lars managed to do such a thing. Or maybe he was just listening to these tapes constantly, not trying to think too bitterly of home.

The human glanced off in the distance and felt his mood drop again. “I still don’t know how I’m gonna make this up to Lars. I feel like he might never forgive me…”  
  
“ _Now  now,_ ” the large fusion spoke, “ _never  is  a  strong  word.  The  captain  can  be  stubborn  at  times,  but  deep  down  inside,  he  cares  about  you  very  much._ ”   
  
Ronaldo let out a slightly sarcastic laugh in response. “I guess. I just wish things could be like they were when we were kids, but I’m probably asking for too much. He’s never gonna feel that way about me again.”   
  
“ _I  wouldn’t  be  so  sure  of  that,_ ” Fluorite reassured him. “ _A  strong  bond  can  be  broken  easily,  but  forming  one  takes  time  and  work,  even  if  it  is  a  bond  that  has  been  built  up  and  torn  down  before.  What  you  had  with  Lars  can  be  recovered  through  patience,  communication  and  understanding. Please  don’t  give  up  on  him  yet._ ”   
  
Hearing someone speak so positively about the situation made Ronaldo’s heart swell with hope. Just being around Fluorite made him feel content and optimistic. At least someone on the ship wanted him to stay.   
  
“Thanks Fluorite,” he said. “I’d hug you right now, but that’d be kinda hard since you’re like a thousand times my size.”   
  
His joking comment got a drawn-out laugh from the caterpillar-like gem. “ _It’s  the  thought  that  counts._ ”   
  
Their tender moment was abruptly interrupted by a blaring alarm. Ronaldo immediately jumped, startled by the sudden noise. A bright red light flashed throughout the ship in time with the noise, causing the human to squint.   
  
“What in the world is going on?” he asked, looking around for the source of the commotion and noticing a thin layer of smoke floating in front of him.   
  
“ _The  engine!_ ” Fluorite exclaimed as quickly as she possibly could. “ _It’s  failing!_ ”

“Wh-what do we do?!” Ronaldo yelped, leaping up onto his feet as Fluorite rushed over to get her hands on the machinery.

“ _I  have  to  manually  re-work  the  power  and  re-set  all  these  switches  and  wires…”_ she explained anxiously, skillfully working away. “ _This  has  happened  before…”_

“But you got the engine going again right?” Ronaldo asked worriedly.

“ _Yes. . . but  the  ship  was  grounded  then.  Not  in  the  air  like  we  are  right  now.”_

Lars ran down the staircase, rushing over to Fluorite to inspect the problem with her. “What's happening to the engine???” he asked, visibly upset. “Can you fix it???”

“ _I'm  trying_ ,” she assured, incredibly focused on the task at hand.

Ronaldo watched Lars supervise the engineer gem, and feeling like he'd be of no service to help, especially not with the captain disdaining him at the time, stepped backwards and anxiously but quietly observed.

And then the whole ship went dark.

“What the fuck?!” Lars shouted, then hissed. “S’cuse my language,” he muttered under his breath to Fluorite, who he tended not to swear in front of for some reason.

_“The  power  has  gone  out!   Quickly!   Find  the  breaker  switch!”_

“I can't see anything!!” Lars yelped, stumbling around in the dark.

_“We  need  a  light!”_

“We're coming!” the Rutiles both shouted from the galley. They were capable of glowing, which proved useful in the dark.

“No!”, Lars suddenly spoke up. “You two need to keep the ship steady manually! Stay at the helm!!!”

Hesitantly obeying, the twins remained at their stations, and Lars began to blindly feel around in the dark, trying to help Fluorite find the aforementioned switch. Without it, the ship could end up blindly crashing into space debris or pulled into a wormhole or gravitationally pulled onto some deserted planet, and then they'd all be totally screwed.

“WHY DOESN'T HOMEWORLD PUT FLASHLIGHTS IN THEIR SHIPS?!” Lars screamed.

“...did you say _flashlight_?” Ronaldo suddenly piped up.

He obviously couldn’t see the captain turn around angrily to snap at him, but somehow he knew that he did. “You stay out of this!”  
  
“ _Wait_ ,” Fluorite’s voice warned. “ _He  might  be  able  to  help_ .”   
  
“Fluorite, I know you’re a strong believer in the idea that everyone is useful, but now is not the time,” Lars stubbornly replied. 

“ _Now  is  the  perfect  time,_ ” she said. “ _Please  captain,  let  him  try._ ”   
  
Silence followed, which signaled that Lars had given up on trying to stop Ronaldo from going through with his plan. The human dug around in his pants pocket for a few seconds before pulling out what he was looking for.   
  
“Aha!” he exclaimed as a dim light began to shine from his hands.   
  
“A phone?” Lars’ voice snarled. “You really think that a stupid _phone_ is going to provide enough light for us to do this?”   
  
“Not just a phone,” Ronaldo answered with a smirk that Lars couldn’t see, “but a phone _flashlight!_ ” Swiping a finger up on his phone’s screen, a much brighter light began to shine from its top. “Ta-da!”   
  
When it was first turned on, the light had been positioned directly at Lars’ face. Ronaldo watched as his eyes, once adjusted to the light, opened wide, and his mouth gaped ever so slightly in awe.   
  
“Wow, that’s...actually a pretty good idea.” Lars now regretted trashing his phone on Clavia 4 when the battery died.   
  
“Now let’s find that switch!” the human said triumphantly, moving the beam of light away from the captain’s shocked face to the ship’s wall. “Hmmmm now where could it be-oh! Is that it?”   
  
Ronaldo shined the flashlight on a large grey switch with a yellow and black striped border around it.   
  
“ _That’s  the  one,_ ” Fluorite gasped. “ _Nice  work,  Ronaldo!_ ”   
  
“Don’t even mention it!” he responded, immediately flipping the switch upward and watching as the ship’s lights gradually came back on and the room was completely lit once more. He then turned off his phone’s flashlight and put the device back in his pocket. “Now let’s get to work on that engine!”   
  
Before anything else could be said, a small voice piped up from above them. “Lars, I’ve had a miraculous vision! Human Ronaldo’s rectangular micro-communicator contains a flashlight!”   
  
“We got it, Padparadscha.” Ronaldo and Lars answered the Sapphire in unison, causing them to awkwardly look at one another and laugh.   
  
“Hey, Ronaldo,” Lars spoke nervously, “about earlier...I guess I was a little too harsh, and I'm sor-”   
  
“Me too,” the human replied, cutting him off with a clap on the shoulder. “But let’s worry about apologies when we’re on the ground.”

“Captain?” the Rutiles both called from the galley.

“Yup?” Lars headed up the stairs, Ronaldo and Padparadscha following leisurely behind.

“We think we know why the engine acted up…” one of them began, looking uncertain.

“We've been pulled into the gravitational field of the incoming planet. Should we land?”

“There could be a place to fuel the ship...and _oh my goodness look at all those weird colors!!!!”_ Ronaldo gasped, squishing his face against the window, wanting to see the topography of the new planet even closer. His first steps on a new planet were within reach.

Lars put a hand on his hip and shrugged. “Don't see why not.”

Rhodonite suddenly peered out the window, seeing the planet ahead of them, and went pale, gulping. “Um...I could see a _big_ reason why.”

“Huh? What's that?” Lars looked at her, confused.

The fusion gem remembered seeing this same planet approaching her following the horrific mishap when she had first fused in front of her Morganite, as well as the many months she'd spent being punished for it. When she had managed to escape back to Homeworld, she had to retreat to the underground where she met her current friends.

 “...This is the _prison_ planet,” she informed him, looking nervous. “I spent a while there and...I'd really like to not go back?”

Lars looked at her, visibly sympathetic, then sighed. “I’m sorry that happened, but we really need fuel for the ship soon. If we land on the planet, you can stay in here while we go out looking. Is that okay?”

Rhodonite gulped, then sighed. “...I guess…”

“We're going to land on a new planet??” Ronaldo grinned from the window with excitement. “Do I get to explore???”

Lars rolled his eyes, giving a smirk. “Yeah. But just a little.”

“BETTER THAN NOTHING!! THANK YOUUUUU!!” Ronaldo whooped, leaping jubilantly into the air, landing with enough force to make the floor shake.

“Sh-!!” Lars almost cursed at the sudden quake, but caught himself, smiling weakly with exasperation. “You're welcome, y’weirdo.”

 

_You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am_

_I'll come running to see you again_


	5. Folsom Prison Blues

_  
_ _I hear the train a comin'_

_It's rolling round the bend_

_And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know when,_

_I'm stuck in Folsom prison, and time keeps draggin' on_

_But that train keeps a rollin' on down to San Antone.._

  
  
Lars had decided to listen to his tape out loud as they cruised throughout the strange new planet. The almost foreboding tune added a new layer of eeriness to the experience. It was giving him the adrenaline rush that came with mixing music with an adventure like this, but Rhodonite was becoming visibly uncomfortable.   
  
“U-um captain? Could you at least turn that down?” she requested. “It’s not exactly helping the situation…”   
  
“No need,” Lars replied, pressing the pause button on his music. “We’re here.”   
  
“We’re here!?” Ronaldo repeated in excitement, gently shoving past the Off-Colors to get a look outside.   
  
The planet didn’t have as much scenery as Earth or Homeworld, that was for sure. It had a rocky ground with a blueish hue and was almost completely barren, save for a tall structure that could be seen in the distance and the fuel station they were approaching. However, the enthusiastic human didn’t seem the slightest bit underwhelmed.   
  
“What’s that big pointy thing over there with the pillars?” Ronaldo asked Rhodonite, drawing attention to the skyscraper-like object.   
  
The fusion bit her lip in fear. “That’s the prison,” she informed him. “It’s even bigger than it looks. That thing goes on for miles, and it’s full of gems who went against the order of the Diamonds. Some of them stay trapped in those structures for eternity, and some are just there for a little while until they’re…” Her voice trailed off as if she were too distraught to finish the sentence.   
  
“Until they’re what?” asked Ronaldo, but Lars shushed him before he was able to get an answer.   
  
“Keep it down for a bit,” he ordered. “I gotta deal with those creeps over there.”   
  
Curious as to who the captain was talking about, Ronaldo turned his head to look in the other direction. Two indigo-colored gems were standing in front of what he assumed was the fuel station. They were stoic, tall gems with large pointed hair that made them look as if they were wearing a cone-shaped hat. Both had on jumpsuit-like outfits with a diamond insignia in the middle, one yellow and the other blue.   
  
“I’ve never seen gems like that before,” Lars commented. “What are they?”   
  
“Sodalites,” Rhodnonite anxiously replied, trying her hardest not to look at their surroundings. “They guard the prison, as well as this entire planet, and alert the Diamonds if anyone tries to escape. Or succeeds in escaping…”   
  
“They look like they’re wearing fuckin’ dunce hats,” Ronaldo laughed. Lars shot him an icy glare to let him know that his input was unnecessary.   
  
“Welp, guess I’d better get my disguise on then.” The captain sighed, walking toward the back of the ship. “Twins! Can you go get my gem stuff?”   
  
“Yes captain!” one Rutile replied.   
  
“Right away,” followed the other, as the two left to get whatever it was Lars had asked for.

“Wait... _gem disguise_?” Ronaldo cocked an eyebrow in question at him.

“You’ll see,” Lars winked.

* * *

 

A short while later, Lars fixed a triangular pink fake gem over his eye and walked out of the ship, whispering to Ronaldo. “Remember: you’re my prisoner for the human zoo if they ask about you, okay?”

“Got it!” Ronaldo was almost exploding with excitement, ready to photograph everything and anything on this planet, already reaching down to feel the silty material on the ground and compare it to Earth soil.

Approaching the Sodalites, Lars cleared his throat. “Mind if I step by to grab some fuel for my ship? We won’t take too long.” He smiled as charmingly as possible.

The two guards glanced at each other, then at Lars. “Which court are you aligned to?” one asked.

“Well, obviously, the majestic Blue Diamond.” He beamed as he moved his cape to show the fake insignia on his chest. “She’s assigned my gems to escort humans to her zoo and- STAY CLOSE, HUMAN!!!” Lars shouted, seeing Ronaldo get distracted with his phone’s video camera as he wandered.

“Sorry La- I mean, _Rhodochrosite,_ ” Ronaldo blushed, stepping back over to him and looking anxious to explore more.

“Humans.” Lars thumbed a gesture at him, snickering to the Sodalites. “They’re _so_ dumb.”

“Heyyy,” Ronaldo mutely warned.

“Anyway, I really need to get back to my mission, and my ship is running low on fuel. Help a gem of the court out here?” Lars winked to the one Sodalite with the blue insignia.

“Well, of course,” she smiled, ignoring her companion’s eye roll. “ _Anything_ for a gem of the court.” _  
_

When Lars had obtained enough fuel for the ship, he grinned. “Well, that will be all, Sodalites. I will tell My Diamond that you’ve been doing an _excellent_ job at your station.”

“Oh, well, thank you, Rhodochrosite!” They smiled.

“Anytime,” he grinned. “Now to take this human to the zoo and-”

Lars froze in place when he realized that Ronaldo had wandered off again and cursed under his breath.

“Everything alright, your excellency?”

“Er...just...fine!” He grinned nervously and sped to the ship to drop off the fuel. Afterwards, he ran to go find Ronaldo, soon seeing him far off in the distance near the gem prison. Lars made quick feet to reach him, almost out of breath as he caught up to him, panting furiously. “I...told...you...to...stay...close!!”

“I’m sorry!” Ronaldo apologized, still staring ahead. “But I saw someone walking this way, and I wanted to investigate!”

“That’s the worst thing to do on a planet like this!” Lars snapped. “They could be a prison guard who could grab you and-”

He was cut off by a shrill shouting and looked over, seeing a large Sodalite fusion who was escorting a violently squirming, panicked yellow gem towards the entrance of the prison.

“You don’t understand!!” the prisoner shrieked, nearly hysterical. “I was a prized member of the court of Yellow Diamond! I did nothing to warrant this!” she insisted, still struggling to break free. “I’m innocent!! Innocent!!”

Lars frowned. “Hey, wait a minute...I know her.” He rubbed his chin in thought, then his eyes widened. “Oh shit it’s the lawyer from that trial Steven took...uh...Zinclair...Zigfried...no no, Zircon! Yeah, her!”

“Why are they arresting her?”

“I dunno.” Lars rolled his eyes. “I couldn’t exactly hear shit in the bubble they put my head in. I just remember Yellow Diamond was pissed and zapped her, and then squashed the blue one before that. ”

“Well, that sounds horrible!” Ronaldo gasped, looking terrified.

“Welcome to Homeworld, where everything is horrible, and the points don’t matter!” Lars waved his hands above his head and narrated dramatically.

“We have to do something!” the human insisted. “If she’s innocent, she doesn’t deserve to be in there.”

“Ron, it’s a prison bigger than Canada. You can’t expect to lead a breakout when- _aaand you just ran inside, great, perfect, fuck me,”_ Lars hissed in frustration once he’d noticed Ronaldo’s departure, slapping his forehead.   
  
Mumbling under his breath, Lars quickly yet silently followed the eager human. Once he’d caught up with him, he grabbed Ronaldo by the shirt and dragged him behind a nearby pillar outside the prison’s walls. The Sodalite fusion whipped her head around and narrowed her eyes, having heard the commotion from behind. Luckily, the two had hidden just in time for it to look as if it were nothing. She shrugged and continued to walk toward the prison, trying hard to keep the struggling lawyer gem from escaping.   
  
“What the hell are you thinking?” Lars scolded in a whisper. “We can’t just barge in and fight that big lug!”   
  
“But who else is gonna save that poor gem if we don’t?” Ronaldo replied.   
  
“That “poor gem” put my head in a bubble! And all those other gems might do the same for all we know. We can’t risk it.”   
  
“Then what are we even doing here?”   
  
Lars went silent for a few seconds before speaking again. “What do you mean?”   
  
“What’s the point of going on a big elaborate space adventures if you’re not going to do anything,” Ronaldo continued. “Sure some of the gems in there might not be too friendly at first, but Rhodonite said they all went against the Diamonds’ rule to end up here. Doesn’t that mean they’re just like the Off-Colors?”   
  
Ronaldo’s statement tugged at Lars’ heartstrings. He looked to the giant structure that Rhodonite had informed them was the prison. It slightly resembled a stereotypical Earth prison but even bigger and more intimidating. Of course he couldn’t see inside, but something told him that the living conditions of these gems weren’t the best.   
  
Something pretty awful had to happen there to make his friend too terrified to even leave the ship. He tried to imagine what that was but couldn’t bear to think of it for very long. The thought of his closest friends, who had become a family to him, behind bars or whatever they used in Homeworld’s prison and isolated from the rest of the galaxy made his stomach turn. Even though he didn’t know the gems in there, he did know that most of them didn’t deserve such an awful fate for going against their corrupt rulers.   
  
Gulping nervously, he turned to his friend again. “But don’t you think this is a little risky?”   
  
“What’s the point of being a space pirate if you don’t do something a little risky now and then?” Ronaldo raised an eyebrow.   
  
Lars couldn’t help but smile at his friend’s remark. “You know Fryman, maybe I do need you around. Let’s do this!”   
  
The human’s face became alive with joy at both Lars’ compliment and the fact that he’d gotten his way. “Alright, Lars! Let’s go free some gems!”   
  
He didn’t realize that he’d let his voice get a little too loud until the Sodalite fusion turned her head once more, causing Lars to yank him as far behind the pillar as possible. Once a few seconds had passed by, they looked back up to see where they were taking the protesting Zircon.   
  
“Listen, Sodalite, buddy,” she pleaded as they grew nearer to their destination, “ya gotta believe me! I’m innocent! C’mon, you know me! Remember when I helped get you two out of that sticky situation you got into with that Amethyst? Haha! That sure was something, right?”   
  
The fusion replied with a glance of pure anger and annoyance.   
  
“I get it, stoic as always!” the yellow gem laughed. “Well, if there’s absolutely anything I can do to prove to you that I am still one-hundred percent loyal to the Diamonds, please tell me; I am begging you t-”   
  
Her pleas were cut off as the Sodalite fusion pulled out a weapon from her gems, located on her left shoulder and elbow. It appeared to be a large taser-like device, one that Lars already assumed the use of before anything even happened.   
  
“Well, that’s not g- _AHH!_ ” The Zircon was silenced as the Sodalite fusion’s weapon collided with her gem. She convulsed, yellow sparks flying out from behind her, before her entire form disappeared, leaving nothing but her square-shaped gem. The Sodalite caught it before it fell to the ground, clenching it tightly in her fist.   
  
“ _OH MY GOD THEY FUCKIN’ KILLED HER!!!_ ” Ronaldo’s loud scream startled Lars from watching the scene, and he was forced to frustratingly drag his friend behind the pillar again so the fusion’s wandering glance wouldn’t spot them.

Opening his mouth, Ronaldo was about to speak again when his lips were forcefully pursed shut in-between Lars’ fingers.

“I’m going to let go of your lips in five seconds, and when I do, you will remain _silent_. Understood?” Lars hissed, looking at him with a serious glare.

Ronaldo gave a small nod. “Thowwy”, he murmured through his pinched lips. When Lars let him go, he swallowed down a panicked squeak.

“Look, she’s... _probably_ fine,” Lars muttered. “Sometimes they kind of explode and then regenerate from their gems like no big deal.”

“Well then we still have to rescue her!” Ronaldo spoke lowly, glancing around the pillar again to see the Sodalite step onto a platform similar to the one in Steven’s home back on Earth. She pressed a button, and in a burst of light, she was gone.

“...Maybe that elevator will take us exactly to where she’s goin’,” Lars mumbled, glancing around cautiously. He then slowly stepped up, taking Ronaldo by the arm, and swiftly hurried over to the warp pad, cursing as he saw the array of multiple, differently colored buttons and switches.

“Did you see which one she pushed?”  
  
“I don’t know!”

“Maybe...this one?” Ronaldo aimed his finger down onto a bright blue one with a bubble on it.

“Wait Ron, no-!”

Suddenly, in a flash of light, the two were rocketed into the air, screaming as they held onto each other for dear life.

* * *

 

“OH GOD I’M FEELING ALL MY ORGANS SHOOTING DOWN TOWARDS MY PELVIS!”

“THIS REMINDS ME OF THE TEACUPS AT FUNLAND!”  
  
“THEY DON’T SHOOT STRAIGHT UP!”   
  
“WELL MINE DID!! AND IT LANDED ON THE ROOF OF THE CAR WASH!!”   
  
“...RONALDO, WHAT THE ACTUAL FU-”

The boys were suddenly smack flat against the warp pad, on a new floor, groaning as they struggled to get up and adjust their senses to the new environment.

Almost immediately, they saw all the crystalline blue bubbles that were floating over the illuminated floor of the facility, blackness being their only backdrop. One could squint and equate it to a starry sky of prisoners.

“A-are these all gems?” Ronaldo asked, voice barely a whisper.

“I think so,” Lars murmured, feeling incredibly uneasy at how many there were. Was this where they had kept Rhodonite?

He nudged Ronaldo behind the warp console to hide as he caught sight of the Sodalite fusion from the ground floor, the yellow Zircon gem still in her hand. She formed a bubble with her hands around it and raised it into the air, resting it in suspension next to another bubble containing a nearly identical gem, only blue.

The fusion guard then walked further through the bubbles, a door suddenly popping out of the black environment. She walked through it, the entrance disappearing behind her.

Once she was gone, Lars and Ronaldo ran over to the bubble containing the yellow Zircon, and Lars tried to grab it, finding it just a little out of reach.

“Gimme a sec, man. I’ll try to get her down,” he muttered, craning upwards as he stood on his tiptoes, still struggling to reach.

Ronaldo tried to help, suddenly grabbing Lars by the waist, which elicited a surprised yelp from the captain. He wildly swatted his hands, speaking gibberish in complete frustration. His hand smacked against the other bubble containing the blue gem and sent it falling downward. Ronaldo caught it in his hands only for it to pop, leaving its single content to clatter onto the floor.

“Ronaldo!” Lars hissed. “We don’t know what, or _who_ , that-”

He was cut off in surprise as the gem suddenly glowed, and before their eyes, formed a slender figure which toppled over once the light faded. It was one Lars had seen before and one very similar to the gem they planned to rescue.

Groaning, Blue Zircon slowly got to her feet and blearily looked around, trying to figure out where she was. Once she wasn’t as disoriented, she realized she wasn’t alone and raised her hands up in defense with a shrill yelp, staring wide-eyed at Ronaldo and Lars who were both equally as surprised.

“Holy shit, it’s the other one,” Lars gasped.

“What are you-?” Blue narrowed her eyes in confusion, her mouth dropping open. “ _You’re_ that human that Rose Quartz had with her! I didn’t know humans could change colors!”

“We don’t. At least, not this dramatically,” Lars muttered. “It’s a long story, most of it centered on the concept of death. I’d rather not discuss it for the fiftieth time in ten months.”

Blue then turned her head to look at the other human. “And who...or _what_...is that?”

Ronaldo was staring in wide-eyed awe at this new gem. “I can’t believe that really happened! I saved a gem! And I got to watch her _come back to life!!!_ ”

“...what???”  
  
Excitedly, the human rushed over to Blue and began to look her up and down in curiosity. “Hello there!” he greeted her. “My name is Ronaldo Fryman. I have come here from the planet known as Earth with my beloved best friend and captain to help him free the many poor gems who have been kept in this prison by the tyrannical Diamonds and-”   
  
“Wait, wait, hold up,” the gem cut him off, “you came here to _save_ me?”   
  
“Well...without going into specifics, yes.”   
  
“Oh my stars, I don’t believe it!” She gasped in excited shock. “I’m not going to be shattered! Oh thank you, thank you ever so much! How can I ever repay you?”   
  
“Don’t even mention it!” Ronaldo said smugly. “It is our duty and greatest pleasure to protect gems like you. No payment is needed! Or, actually, I don’t know how gem money works but there is this really cool replica sword I was going to buy when we got back to Earth, and I could use a few-”   
  
“I am sooo sorry about him,” Lars butted in, shoving Ronaldo to the side. “Basically we saw that big guard gem or whatever carrying your little friend up there to the prison. She was screeching her head off, and Mister Hero over here got all sympathetic so we came here to save her. We were trying to rescue her but accidentally popped your bubble instead, though I guess you’re not complaining so it’s all good. Consider yourself saved.”   
  
“H-huh?” asked the blue gem, rubbing her forehead in confusion. “My fr-” That was when her eyes collided with the bubble directly in front of her and shot open wide in shock and fear. “ _Oh no!_ Oh no, no, no, no! Her too? I don’t believe it!”   
  
“So I take it you weren’t expecting each other?” Lars laughed sarcastically.   
  
“No!” Blue gasped. “She didn’t even agree with me about...oh my stars, she’s going to be _furious_ if she ever comes out of that bubble!”   
  
“Wait a second, I feel like I’m missing something here,” Ronaldo interrupted. “Do you two know each other?”   
  
Blue ran her hands down her face. “Unfortunately. She was the prosecutor Zircon in the trial that got me here in the first place, and even before then we had some...history of doing trials together.”   
  
“Ooooo so she’s like your friend?”   
  
“No!” Blue groaned. “She’s the opposite of my friend! She _detests_ me! She’d have my gem on a silver platter if she ever saw me again because it’s my fault that-”   
  
“Hey, you two!” Lars spoke over Blue. “Can we hurry it up? We don’t exactly have all the time in the world and are kind of in forbidden territory over here.”

He grabbed the bubble containing Yellow Zircon, motioning to pop it, and Blue squeaked in surprise, running over to him. “No wait!”

“Oh don’t be dramatic,” Lars snorted.

“Give me that!” she shouted, grabbing for the bubble. Lars yanked it back, resulting in a tug of war that almost immediately caused it to pop. The yellow gem fell to the ground, but Ronaldo caught it in his hands on its way down.

“Uhhh...okay, is she supposed to immediately come back or-”

Ronaldo was cut off by the sound of a gem-tech door opening, and the Sodalite guard from earlier appeared in the doorway, this time accompanied with another Sodalite fusion of equal size. They both stared in surprise and confusion at the three individuals standing in the middle of the prison.

Lars stuttered under his breath. “Uhhh...I think if we just calmly and quickly _walk_ backwards towards the warp, we can-”

The two guards immediately fused into an even bigger Sodalite guard and started running towards them.

“CALMLY AND QUICKLY _RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!_ ” Lars yelled, yanking Ronaldo by the arm. He in turn grabbed Blue Zircon’s hand, causing her to shriek in confusion as suddenly they were all running as fast as they could, Lars sprinting for the warp.

“Stop right there!” the large fusion boomed, quickly catching up.

“Shitshitshit!!!!” Lars yelped, smacking a random button multiple times on the console and bracing himself for the high speed ride he experienced earlier.

Blue was wildly grabbing onto both him and Ronaldo as they were sent tumbling through warp speed, near hysterics at the sudden misfortunes she was being introduced to yet again.

* * *

 

“WHERE ARE WE GOING????”

“I DON’T KNOW. I JUST PRESSED THE BUTTON!!”  
  
“ _WHICH_ BUTTON???”  
  
“I DON’T KNOW!!”  
  
Once the turbulent journey through the warp system came to an end, the three found themselves on top of the same warp pad they had left from. Looking at one another to make sure everyone made it out unscathed, they heaved a long sigh of relief in unison.   
  
“Whew! We made it, guys! We actually made i-”  
  
Lars’ celebration was cut short as he lifted his head slightly to see the several Sodalite guards surrounding them, each glaring daggers at the two space pirates and prison escapee.   
  
“Fuck me,” he grumbled, immediately making a dash for the ship with Ronaldo and Blue right behind him.  
  
They managed to slide past the guards for the most part, but one made a grab for Ronaldo and held onto his left foot. “Oh no! They got me!” he called to Lars, reaching his hand out.   
  
“Ronaldo!” Lars gasped, grabbing a hold of his friend’s hand and trying to pull him away from the rival gem’s grasp to no avail. He tugged as hard as he could, but the Sodalite’s grip only tightened. There was no way Lars would be able to do this by himself!   
  
Just as he was about to make a comment about how he shouldn’t have cut gym class so much in high school, he felt a second set of hands wrap around his waist and pull him backwards. Turning his head, he saw the Zircon they’d rescued adding her force onto his end in an attempt to save the human who had earlier saved her.  
  
After a few seconds, a loud pop was heard, and Ronaldo fell onto the ground, the opposing gem left with nothing but a sandall in her fist. Lars almost instantly began dragging at Ronaldo’s hand again to get him of his feet and in motion.  
  
“Aw, they got my shoe!” he groaned, looking back as if he had plans to rescue it from the gem guards.  
  
“Forget the damn shoe, let’s get the hell outta here!” Lars snarled, pulling hard at Ronaldo’s arm and getting him to follow suit. “Go, go, go!!!”  
  
The three began their sprint toward the ship once more, the Sodalite guards hot on their trail. After a few seconds of running, they were all visibly growing tired, especially Ronaldo who didn’t have any kind of superhuman stamina whatsoever. Lars noticed he was beginning to fall behind and felt worry start to creep up on him.   
  
“Human!” Blue called out as she realized how close the guards were were getting to her saviour. “Look out!”   
  
Lars tugged at Ronaldo’s arm again, but it wasn’t enough. He could feel the presence of the Sodalite guards getting closer and closer. His chest began to feel heavy with anxiety, and his heart was almost beating at a normal human speed again.   
  
“We’re n-not gonna make it…” he choked out, realizing that the fuel station where the ship was parked was still pretty far away. He glanced down at Ronaldo, panic rising in his chest. If those gems ever got their hands on him, there’s no telling what they’d do, and an inexperienced human like Ronaldo didn’t stand a chance of escaping on his own. Tears threatened to form in his eyes as he began going over the possibilities in his head.   
  
_No, no, no, fuck, not this again!_ He tried hard to fight the rising panic attack, telling himself over and over that they might be able to make it if they run really fast and if he didn’t have a breakdown before they reached the ship. God, why couldn’t Steven’s tears have taken away his crippling anxiety too?  
  
“Are you okay!?!” Blue screeched, obviously noticing something was off with Lars.  
  
The pressure to say something, feeling of the Sodalites growing nearer and Ronaldo falling further behind was too much for the captain to handle. Instead of giving Blue an answer, he acted on impulse and let out a loud, fearful scream.   
  
However, when Lars’ mouth opened and the loud noise left, a white beam of light shot out and opened up a large sparkling void in front of them. Not having time to question it or even stop themselves from running right into it, the three were suddenly traveling through a tunnel of blue light similar to the warp. All of them were screaming now as they were buffeted at top speed through the wormhole, not knowing where it was leading or how its existence was even possible in the first place.   
  
Soon they could see a different light approaching them and fell out onto the floor of Lars’ ship, one on top of the other. Once they were all safely on board, the portal behind them disappeared. Lars, Ronaldo and Blue Zircon all slowly got to their feet, groaning and adjusting whatever got messed up during the speedy escape.   
  
“Captain!” a voice called. The Rutile twins were sitting in the pilot’s chair, heads turned to check out the commotion behind them.   
  
“What was that?” the other twin questioned.   
  
Lars rubbed his head, which was still a bit sore from the rough landing. “I...I don’t know?”  
  
The many thoughts running through his mind about what just happened and how he managed to open that portal with his scream were halted when he felt a large hand slap his back hard.   
  
“YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU HAD SUPERPOWERS!” Ronaldo yelled at the top of his lungs, eyes sparkling. “THAT WAS _AMAZING!!!_ ”  
  
Lars didn’t even have it in him to say something sarcastic right now, his head much too groggy with disbelief. “I uh...didn’t know I had superpowers, if that’s what those even are…”  
  
What had caused that? After getting so overwhelmed that he screamed, a huge portal had opened up from his mouth right in front of them, and they were able to escape from the-  
  
“ _Sodalites!_ ” Rhodonite’s screamed, causing Lars to snap back to reality.  
  
“Twins, floor it!” he commanded in sudden panic, noticing that two Sodalite guards were approaching the ship as quickly as they could.  
  
“On it!” The Rutiles started the ship up and instantly put it into hyperspeed.  
  
Once they were in the air and away from the dangerous planet, Lars was about to allow himself a chance to relax when a small voice got his attention.  
  
“Captain Lars! I have recieved an important vision...about you!”  
  
“Important vision, huh?” He grinned slightly, already having an idea on what she would say. “Sounds pretty interesting to me. What’s up?”  
  
“You will discover a new power!” Padparadscha spoke excitedly. “The power to make portals appear by raising your voice! It will prove very helpful in escaping the Sodalite guards.”  
  
So that was what happened after all. Lars wasn’t just a pink undead human with a pocket dimension in his head, he was a pink undead human with a pocket dimension in his head _and_ _portal_ _powers_. This definitely wasn’t something he had expected to learn about himself, but he guessed he shouldn’t complain. Like the Sapphire had said, they did prove to be pretty useful. It was just so strange and sudden, and he still didn’t really have much of an idea on how to control them or if he perhaps had even more that would be revealed later on in his life.  
  
“Sounds like something I’m gonna have to talk to Steven about,” he sighed. “Thank you, Padpa-”  
  
He was cut off by Rhodonite’s shrill screech.  
  
“Captain! You were followed!” The fusion pointed to Blue Zircon and ran to hide behind the captain’s chair.   
  
“H-huh?” The new gem looked to Rhodonite in confusion.  
  
“Wait, no!” Lars corrected her, realizing that he’d forgotten to introduce their new passenger. “This is uhhhh...sorry I’m bad with names.”  
  
Blue rolled her eyes. “Blue Zircon,” she introduced herself. “I was a defense Zircon in the trial on the demise of Pink Diamond, buuuut I was sentenced to shattering after I-”  
  
“Damnit!” Lars interrupted in realization. “We forgot the yellow one!”  
  
“Oh, her?” Blue let out a small laugh. “Don’t worry about her. I didn’t have time to properly explain why she was bad news, but she’s still very loyal to the Diamonds despite how they’ve wronged her for virtually no reason. She would do anything to get back on their side which includes bringing them a ship of rebels, especially if I was on it. It would have been nothing but dangerous to bring her on board.”   
  
“Wow.” Lars shook his head. He wasn’t exactly surprised by this news going off of what he’d picked up from his short time spent with the yellow gem. “Well, that’s good. Guess we really dodged a bullet there, huh Ronaldo?”  
  
The human was silent.  
  
“Uhhh...Ronaldo?”  
  
Before Ronaldo had a chance to open his mouth, a yellow glow began to emit from the pocket of his shorts.  
  
“..... _shit_.”

  


_I bet there's rich folks eating in a fancy dining car_

_They're probably drinkin' coffee and smoking big cigars._

_Well I know I had it coming, I know I can't be free_

_But those people keep a movin'_

_And that's what tortures me_   



	6. Evil Woman

_  
_ _You made a fool of me, but them broken dreams have got to end…_

 

Almost immediately, Ronaldo grabbed the gem out of his pocket and chucked it at the furthest wall like a grenade. It immediately bounced off and slid along the floor, ending up in the empty cell built into one of the walls surrounding the galley.

Yellow Zircon immediately screamed, “I’M INNOCENT”, as she reformed, gasping and looking around upon realizing she was no longer in the clutches of the Sodalites. Brow furrowed in confusion, she immediately caught sight of her courtroom rival and pointed an accusing finger. “What are you doing here?! Who are they?! What even is this?!” she gripped at her hair, looking absolutely stressed.

Blue’s warning words in regards to Yellow’s loyalty to the Diamonds echoed in Lars’ head, and he quietly shuffled over to his control console, pressing the button to activate the barrier for the prison cell she was currently standing in, unbeknownst to her.

As soon as the forcefield came down, the lawyer gem gave a noise of astonishment. “What is the meaning of this?!”

“Now you listen here,” Blue pointed at her, looking stern, “if you refuse to cooperate with them, we have every intention to shatter you and send your bits flying into space!”

The imprisoned gem shrieked in horror, and the rest of the crew stared at Blue in astonishment at her claims. She glanced back at them. “Er...too much?”

“Ya think?” Ronaldo snorted.

“Look, we’re not gonna do...that.” Lars rubbed his forehead. “But we can bubble you if you try to pull anything. We know what you stand for, and we’re not going to let you-”

“Pirates!!!” Yellow shrieked, cutting him off. “I knew it! You’re all pirates!!! I could tell by your abominable colors and your presence in an unattended imperial ship! I can have you all arrested for piracy and-” she paused and gasped in disbelief, looking at Blue. “And _you_ !!! I can’t even believe that you would stoop so low as to turn on your own kind! I mean, your stunt in the courtroom was a shock, but this is _completely_ out of-”

Ronaldo reached past Lars and pressed another button on the console that thickened the shield and blocked out what she was screaming, leaving them all to only see her large mouth gabbing like a hysterical sock puppet.

“She was getting annoying,” Ronaldo shrugged. “We can just keep her in there until she shuts up.”

“Good plan,” Lars nodded, and sunk back in his seat. “Well, welcome to the ship, Not-Evil Zircon.”

“I resent that.” Blue gave an unimpressed look.

“Anyway, in the meantime, if you want to make yourself useful on our ship, you can give us all the information you can on how homeworld operates so we know how to avoid anyone or anything they send after us.”

“I worked in the courts. I doubt I’ll be able to help much on that account-”

“Well, if we get arrested, you can be our lawyer then.” Lars shrugged.

“...that’s not how that works at all, and-”

"Well, we'll think of something." Lars waved her off and raised the volume of his tape player, wishing to finally lose himself in his music for a while after their most recent and rather stressful escapade. Unfortunately, his music was interrupted by the urgent flashing of the ship's call screen. Realizing what this probably meant made Lars feel as if several years had been taken from his lifespan. He knew her butting out of his life forever was too good to be true.

“Oh goody,” he muttered under his breath, “guess I have to deal with _another_ gem who doesn’t know when to shut up.” He then reluctantly accepted the call.

“ _Off-Colors, come out to plaaaayyyyy_ ”, Emerald sing-songed, bottles on three of her fingers and clinking them together.

“Emerald, what the- are you recreating that one scene from the movie _‘Warriors_ ’?” Lars was almost laughing in disbelief.

“Oh don’t try to look so brave,” she sneered. “I did my _research_ on you Earth creatures, and I found out this was a method of intimidation! I can see you shaking in fear of me.” She kept clinking the bottles on her hands.

“I’m shaking from trying to hold back laughter,” Lars snorted, trying to keep composed. “So uh, you did ‘research’ did you?” He tried to sound serious but found this whole thing way too funny. “Is that why you’re wearing that coat and...an _eyepatch_ over your gem?”

“Since I am now a roguish pirate like you, I figured I would show my superiority and express myself as a more devoted pirate than you and your pitiful crew! I have even been practicing my vernacular! -ahem- YARRRR MATEY!!!”

Lars immediately fell out of his chair, almost rolling on the floor with laughter, and Ronaldo slumped against the arm of the chair, doing just about the same, while the rest of their crew stood and watched in slight confusion.

“Wh- GET UP!!!” Emerald screeched, enraged at how they were mocking her obvious superiority as a feared space criminal.

“Okay, okay!” Lars was wheezing, almost in tears of laughter, and settled back in his seat, still in a fit of giggles. “Em-Emerald,” he was trying to recompose himself, “y-you just googled a bunch of ridiculous shit from Earth! That stuff isn’t scary! That stuff's a riot!”

Emerald stared in disbelief, jaw dropped a moment. Then her face twisted into a glare as she ripped off the eyepatch and coat and threw the bottles back at the Citrines behind her. “ _You idiots couldn’t even research right??!!_ ” They recoiled in embarrassment.

Turning back around, Emerald sneered at the screen. “Well, no matter. I’ve managed to modify my ship so it can go at twice the speed it did before, and I’ll soon have your disgusting head mounted on my wall!”

“Well we have a secret weapon!” Ronaldo butted in. “And thanks to it, we’ll be able to escape you anytime and anyplace!”

Lars gave a confused glance to Ronaldo. “Eh?”

“Your screamy portal powers,” he whispered back.

“Ah.”

“I demand you show me these powers!!!” Emerald screeched, banging her fist on her console.

“Well then they wouldn’t be a secret anymore!” Ronaldo grinned.

“Once I have you in my clutches, I’ll see this secret weapon!” She laughed maniacally. “I’ll do whatever it takes to get it out of you!”  
  
“Oh I’m sure that won’t be too hard,” the human said with a smirk. “All you have to do is keep talking.”  
  
“Ronaldo!” Lars tried to reprimand him for the snide remark but couldn’t help giggling to himself once he got it.  
  
“Oh really?” Emerald jeered, her mouth forming a devious smile. “That’s perfect! I guess I’ll just have to talk to you all day and never hang up! You’re stuck with me until you reveal your secret weapon, and there’s nothing you can do about it!!!!”  
  
Well, that backfired. Lars shot Ronaldo a glare that said “nice going” before speaking again.  
  
“Look, Emerald, honey-”  
  
“Don’t you dare address me through the use of flattering pet names in an attempt to emit pity from me, you horrendous scourge on the face of this galaxy!”  
  
“Fine then, look asshole,” he shot back, “I don’t have to sit here and listen to you yap all day. Mute buttons exists, and I will not hesitate to use them.”  
  
“Yeah,” Ronaldo piped up before the green gem could respond, “don’t you have like...anything better to do?”  
  
Emerald opened her mouth to spit back a compelling reply but stopped herself, as if she were contemplating something. “Wait, what do you mean?”  
  
“You know,” Ronaldo continued, “it seems like all you do is sit around on your ass all day and look up cute human shit on TubeTube while we’re out here actually...I don't know, doing stuff?”  
  
“Ha! You stupid, pitiful whatever-you-are!" Emerald laughed, seemingly unfazed by his words. "Your tiny little mind probably can’t even process half of the stuff I do! Also, what does “ass” mean?”  
  
“Are you so sure about that?” Ronaldo resumed, not even bothering to answer her awkward question. “Because ever since I met you, it seems like all you do is wait for Lars to die...again. You don’t even try to find him and kill him yourself or anything. You just call him on the intergalactic video chat or whatever this is and insult him. Not very scary at all if you ask me.”  
  
“Th-that’s not true!”  
  
“By what I’ve seen, you’re lying. Tell me, Emerald? Do you have any motives that don’t involve Lars?”  
  
“I...uh-”  
  
“What are you doing with your life? You blew up your own ship because you couldn’t take a few not-so-nice words from a teenage boy, betrayed your home planet because that was apparently easier than owning up to your mistakes and now you fly around on a ship all day and try to act like a Sunday cartoon super-villain so we feel threatened by you. But you know what? You’re not a threat at all.”  
  
“I-I will find you and blow you and all of your allies to smithereens this instant!” Emerald screamed at the top of her lungs, becoming clearly distressed. “You don’t even know what you’re saying! I could murder all of you right now if I wanted to!!!”  
  
“Then why haven’t you done it yet?” Ronaldo continued mocking her. “You say all this bullshit, but you don’t even act on it. You can track our ship. You said so yourself. But what have you done this past week instead of actually doing that? Looked up some Earth movies, put an eyepatch over something that’s not even your fuckin’ eye, tried to intimidate us with cheesy phrases that don’t even scare most children-”  
  
“Er, Ronaldo,” Lars spoke up, “maybe you shouldn’t-”  
  
“No Lars, I got this,” the human reassured him before he could finish. “The truth is, Emerald, I know exactly what you are.”  
  
“No you don’t!” she screeched, voice cracking.  “You can't possibly comprehend my power!!!”  
  
“Yes, I do and yes, I can. I’ve dealt with your kind before. You don't even have a power or plan or anything, really. You don’t actually do shit and try to tear others down because your own self esteem is so low that you don’t know how else to deal with it. Emerald,” Ronaldo adjusted his glasses for dramatic effect, “you’re nothing but a _troll_ .”  
  
There was an awkward pause after Ronaldo’s final remark.  
  
Lars groaned in secondhand embarrassment, and his face collided with his palm. “Jesus Ronaldo, she doesn’t even know what-”  
  
His sentence trailed off when a loud wail erupted from the ongoing call. Startled, he looked up to see Emerald bawling her eyes (or eye) out.  
  
“Told ya,” Ronaldo laughed triumphantly, patting Lars on the back. “I’ve dealt with her kind on every forum imaginable. It's pathetic, really.”  
  
Lars shrugged away from his touch and looked to the screen, sweat dripping down his forehead. “N-Now Emerald, I’m uh...sure he wasn’t thinking when he-”

“He’s right!!!!” she wailed again, dramatically throwing her head back to sob more. “I’m a complete _failure!!!_ I...I’m j-just trying to _annihilate_ you, and I can’t even do that right! _”_

She promptly plastered her face onto the console in front of her and continued to cry grossly, which made Lars want to shrink his head into the rest of his body and hide forever. He couldn’t handle crying! Not even from genocidal warlord vixens!

“Oh god, okay, uh...Emerald, buddy, just try to calm down and we can-”

“I have no purpose in my life!!!” she cried into the console. “I was a supreme leader of a glorious army and look what I’ve become!!!”

“The gem equivalent to a crazy cat lady?” Ronaldo suggested under his breath to Lars, who swatted him away.

“Y-Your excellency,” a Citrine whispered, “your tears might short out the-”

“SHUT UP!!!” she screamed and continued to sob into the control panel, her words getting garbled in her hysteria and despair, but Lars was able to make out, “I’ve become a worthless two-bit criminal! I don’t deserve my own army!”

“Nnnnoooo,” Lars began, trying to stop the gross sobbing as promptly as he could. “No no no no no….” He waved his hands, trying to be reassuring. “N-now, don’t talk like that!”

“I can’t even destroy you,” she squeaked, sounding completely miserable.

“Awww, well, you’ve come pretty close!” Lars awkwardly grinned, making finger guns at her. “I mean you blew up a ship! You left me pretty scared there a second!” He laughed, doing everything in his power to make this whole debacle go behind them and hang up. “I mean, we all were pretty scared there when that happened. Right guys?” He nodded to his crew as if to silently say “play along with me on this." They immediately all nodded, smiling encouragingly.

“O-oh yeah we were terrified!” one of the Rutiles grinned, her twin nodding in agreement.

“Shaking in our boots!” Rhodonite added.

“ _Begging  for  mercy,_ ” Fluorite nodded.

“EAT OUR DUST, EMERALD!" Padparadscha shouted, unaware that Ronaldo’s roast ended a minute ago.

Emerald gave a wet sniffle, looking up from the console with completely ruined eyeliner running down her cheek. “R-Really???”

“Y-Yeah!” Lars grinned, feeling more at ease as he saw the attempt to cheer her up was working. “You sure have the tenacity to keep at it, and the leadership and the planet-crushing power! Hey, someday, if you just keep trying, you could very well be roasting my body over an open fire, and it will be all worth it." He gave another awkward thumbs up in her direction.  
  
The rival pirate rubbed her arm across her face to wipe away the tears and smeared eyeliner. “W-wow,” she whimpered, “as much as I detest you and want nothing more than to see you suffer until your demise, t-that was...helpful.”  
  
“I’m glad it was!” the captain replied through gritted teeth. “Now maybe it would be best if we all logged off for the day and forgot any of this ever happened!”  
  
Suddenly, Emerald’s face lit up as if a light bulb had gone off in her head. Lars wasn’t sure what this meant at all, but he had a sinking feeling in his gut that it couldn’t be anything favorable.  
  
“Wait a second…I've got it!” Her wide smirk slowly returned in response to the idea forming in her head, and she threw back her head and gave Lars another one of her signature evil cackles.  
  
“Annnnd she’s back,” Ronaldo grumbled in an aside to Lars.  
  
“I have a marvelous plan!” Emerald exclaimed. “Instead of simply destroying you, as thrilling as that would be, we could team up instead! With my threatening aura and incredible skills in just about every area and your constant validation and praise toward me and me only, mixed with your ship-stealing abilities, we could be the most powerful pirates in the galaxy and do or take whatever we pleased!”  
  
Well, Lars definitely didn’t expect this. “Wait a second, are you suggesting that we form an alliance? Me and you? Just seconds ago you were talking about how you wanted to cut my head off or something and now you want to be my ally?”  
  
“Oh no, I don’t want an alliance from you,” she scoffed. “Alliances are petty and weak and go nowhere in the long run. I’m thinking of something similar but much more powerful. Something that Homeworld hasn’t even seen yet! Something that your little irritating pipsqueak of a passenger over there introduced to me personally the last time we spoke!!!”  
  
“What do you even mean?” the captain whined, dread clouding his thoughts as he tried to remember what she could be talking about.  
  
“Lars, disgusting and vile yet unfortunately sneaky captain of the Off-Colors,” Emerald resumed, “will you take my hand…in marriage?”  
  
“WHAT THE _FUCK_!?!” Ronaldo shouted, making the rest of the crew jump in shock.

Lars found himself sprawled on the floor in complete disbelief and horror, hoping he had misheard every word of what she had just said to him. “OKAY, can you _please_ repeat that???”

“I wish to marry you!” Emerald declared grinning wildly. “I did, in fact, do my _own_ research on marriage, and I feel that with our strengths combined, we will indeed be the ultimate ‘power couple’.”

“Emerald, that’s not what that phrase means,” Lars groaned, hiding his face behind his hands. “Look, I can’t really explain it, but marriage isn’t what you think it is at all and-”

“We don’t have to make a big show of it,” Emerald waved off. “A small wedding of 200 imperial attendants will do- although, thinking about it, if our bond of ultimate destructive power is to intimidate the galaxy, perhaps we should go all out.”

“Can we not? Like at all???”

“I’ll arrange for the ceremony to be held on the nearest planet your ship is planted. Then we can destroy it together afterwards!” she chirped, a little too cheerfully.

“Ohhhh god...” Lars wasn’t even trying to stop her from talking now, too mortified.

“And then, it appears we’ll have to find the largest moon in this galaxy and smear it’s entire surface with an Earth substance known as honey, and-”

The screen suddenly shut off, and Lars whipped his head around to see Ronaldo with his hand slapped over the hang up button, looking more than a little tense.

“Ronaldo?!”

“There’s no way you can marry her!” he spoke, looking bewildered and slightly flushed in the face, which Lars assumed was from embarrassment.

“Uh, DUH! I don’t plan on it! If she wants to put a ring on my finger, it’ll have to be at gunpoint,” he snorted. “And before she goes out and buys herself a dress, we'd best be getting this ship moving into hyperspeed. Ready, twins?”

“Got it!”

“What even is marriage anyway?” one of them asked.

Lars looked at Ronaldo, then back at them. “Don’t ask that again. Ever.”  
  
The captain sighed and settled back in his chair. He reached for his headphones and resumed his music, turning the volume all the way up. It was going to take _a lot_ of drowning out his thoughts to get over that shit storm.

 

_Evil woman how you done me wrong_

_But now you're tryin' to wail a different song_

_Ha Ha funny how you broke me up_

_You made the wine now you drink the cup_


	7. White Wedding

_ It's a nice day to start again _

_ It's a nice day for a white wedding _

_ It's a nice day to start again… _

“And this is my part of the ship!”    
  
Ronaldo opened the door to the room he slept in and led Blue Zircon inside. He had been showing her around while Lars was listening to his music to wind down, and the Off-Colors were busy with their everyday duties, as well as planning the crew’s next route.    
  
“Oooh,” the blue gem mused, looking around the small room. “It’s...interesting. What’s that for?” She pointed her finger at his bed.   
  
“That’s where I sleep!” he informed, taking a seat on the mattress. “It’s a human thing where we shut our eyes and go unconscious for a few hours to refresh ourselves. I know gems don’t do it, but we absolutely have to or...well...I don’t want to go into it.”   
  
“Fair enough,” Blue laughed. “Thanks for taking time out of your schedule to give me a tour. I greatly appreciate it.”   
  
“It’s nothing, don’t worry,” Ronaldo assured her. “I don’t do much around here anyway. I’m really only here for the ride.”   
  
“Guess we have that in common.” Blue looked over her shoulder, smile falling slightly. “I just hope Yellow doesn’t cause any trouble. I should have warned you about her sooner.”   
  
“You tried to, don’t worry,” the human pointed out in an attempt to make her feel less at fault. “I was the one who ignored you and took her with us. If anything happens, it’s on me.”   
  
Blue’s eyes widened and she waved her hands in front of him. “Oh no, no, no, don’t say that! It’s not your fault at all! If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s hers for being so stubborn and conceited and stuck up and-auuugh!” Blue let out a screech of frustration, clenching her fists and throwing her arms above her head. “I don’t see why I didn’t go ahead and strangle her back when we worked together! Even before she wanted me shattered, she was always the most uppity, prissy little piece of gravel in the entire-”   
  
While Blue went on about how much she despised the other Zircon, Ronaldo found himself lost in thoughts of his own. It had been almost a day since Emerald called Lars and attempted to propose to him yet he still couldn’t stop thinking about it. He wasn’t even sure why it bothered him so much, especially since she definitely misunderstood the concept of marriage and wouldn’t want to go through with her proposal if she learned what it really meant. But it was still nagging at his brain and had been ever since he’d hung up on her himself for even suggesting it.   
  
“Hey, Blue?” Ronaldo spoke quietly, interrupting her mid-rant.   
  
“I swear I want nothing more than to show that vile double-crossing ignorant little twerp what sh-oh!” Blue blushed, realizing how long she’d been going on about her problems with Yellow, and giggled nervously. “Forgive me. Yes?”   
  
“This might sound like a funny question, and in theory, I suppose it’s a little hypothetical but uh...am I better than Emerald?”    
  
“Huh!?” Her face conveyed that she definitely wasn’t expecting that question. “You mean that Emerald who called the ship to terrorize the captain?”   
  
“Yeah, her,” Ronaldo confirmed. “You don’t think she’s like...more desireable than me, do you?”   
  
“Desirable?” Blue snorted with laughter. “Well, I’m not so sure what the context of you asking me this is, but by what I’ve seen, I would much rather be in your company than hers. You don’t scream every single word that leaves your mouth like you’re constantly commanding an army.”   
  
“Right!?! And sure Lars and I have gone through a lot of stuff in the past, but at least I don’t constantly threaten to kill him! Well, there was that incident at the lighthouse, but we don’t speak of that anym-oh! And the way she dresses?” Ronaldo stifled a laugh. “I know gems’ bodies are a manifestation of light and all, but if I was able to control everything about how I looked, I wouldn’t wear _ that _ much fur! And don’t even get me  _ started _ on her makeup.”   
  
While Ronaldo was venting his frustrations with Lars’ arch-nemesis to Blue, a loud crash was heard from outside his room, followed by a shrill scream that definitely came from Rhodonite.

“CAPTAIN, WHAT DO WE DO?!” the fusion cried out in complete terror as she struggled to break free from the tight grip of the Citrine who had just grabbed her.

“I DON’T KNOW!” Lars yelped, already having been grabbed and tucked under one of the large gems’ arm. He began kicking his legs pathetically in an attempt to get loose.    
  
“What the heck is going on here!?” he screamed, looking up at the Citrine. She simply pointed to the doorway right as Emerald marched in. The green gem was grinning like a child on Christmas...a psychotic child gifted a flamethrower.

“Well, you certainly weren’t too hard to catch!” She dusted her hands off and walked over to get a better look at him. “What are those things on your ears?”

“My headphones,” Lars glowered at her. “I was listening to music on them before you- HEY!!!” He snapped at her as she pulled them off and experimentally put them over her own head.

After a short pause, she grinned wildly. “Ohhhhh, I like this! What is this strange noise?”

Lars was going to insult her again and demand his headphones back but was interrupted by Padparadscha hurrying in from the basement.   
  
“Captain Lars!” she warned. “I have received a vision that Emerald’s crew will silently hijack the ship, but your headphones will block out the noise! You should probably remove them and be cautious!”

“Thanks,” he groaned to the small gem, who seemed pleased at her own assumed foresight.

Emerald shouted over the music in her ears. “I think we should play this at our wedding! It’s very loud and intimidating, like me!”

Wincing as she screamed in his ears, Lars spat, “I already told you, I don’t want to get mar-”

“Your excellency,” a Citrine called from the basement, “there is a large abominable fusion in the engine chamber.”

“ _ Hello, _ ” Fluorite called warmly.

“Take her too!” shouted Emerald over the music in her ears.

“Wait!! I’m the one you want, right? Not my crew!”

“Well  _ of course _ , but I need ‘bridesmaids’!!” she insisted. “That means prisoners, yes?”

“Not even close!”

“ _ Ohhhh...are  you  getting  married,  Captain?  How  wonderful! _ ” Fluorite smiled as she was escorted out of the basement by three guards and off the ship.

“Captain, just stay calm, we’ll figure a way out!” one Rutile assured, her and her twin also getting carried away.    
  
“Don’t panic!” the other called.

“PANIC AND PANIC A LOT!!!” Rhodonite screamed, still violently flailing enough for an extra guard needed to grab her.

Padparadscha didn’t even react, simply smiling as she was carried off and only freaking out once she was on board Emerald’s ship.

Emerald smiled wildly, still letting her ears bleed from the insanely loud music. “Now to prepare for the ceremony on the nearest planet! You won’t need this old ship anymore, yes?”

“LET ME GO, YOU CRAZY ASPARAGUS WOMAN!!!” Lars yelled.

“WHAT?” She couldn’t hear over the noise from the headphones.

“GYAHHHH,” Lars spat in frustration as he was hauled off the ship, Emerald flouncing cheerfully behind the last guards, shutting the ship hatch behind her with a loud slam.

As the noise of Emerald’s ship speeding away faded out of sight, Ronaldo finally whispered from his hiding spot where he had watched the whole thing.

“Oh... _ shit _ .”

* * *

  
  
“What in the galaxy are they doing!” Blue’s shrieked before Ronaldo could say anything else. “They took everyone! They took them, and we just stood there and watched it like…oh no!” She grabbed Ronaldo by his shirt collar and began shaking him. “What are we gonna do!?! This is not good, Ronaldo, this is-”   
  
“ _ Hilarious _ !”     
  
A snobbish voice sounded from behind the two, and they whipped their heads around to see Yellow, leaning back in her cell with a shit-eating grin plastered across her face.    
  
“ _ You! _ ” Blue snarled, letting go of Ronaldo’s shirt to shake a fist at her. “You stay out of this, or I will personally come in that cell and rearrange the cut of your gem!”   
  
“I’d like to see you try,” the imprisoned Zircon jested, sitting upward. “It’s just me, you and that...excuse me, but what are you?”   
  
“My name’s Ronaldo. I don’t feel like getting into it,” the human sighed, nervously running a hand through his blonde curls. He was still rather shaken up from what he’d just witnessed.    
  
“You and this  _ Ronaldo _ , whatever that is,” Yellow sneered. “And I feel like this ship won’t last much longer with nobody but you buffoons in charge.”   
  
“Oh yeah?” Blue shot back, getting even more steamed from her taunts. “I’d like to see you do a better job of running this thing!”   
  
Yellow cocked her eyebrow and giggled in response. “Well, at least I’ve noticed that no one’s piloting it.”   
  
Ronaldo and Blue’s eyes popped open in unison, and both instantly made a mad dash for the piloting controls. Once they were there, Ronaldo tried to make sense of them before it was too late.   
  
“Do you know how to do this?” he desperately asked Blue.   
  
“I’ve never even been this close to a ship’s control panel before!” she yelped.   
  
“Weren’t you sent out on missions or something when you with Homeworld?”   
  
“Well, yes, I’ve flown to other planets before, but the Diamonds always entrusted their most noble and successful Zircons with flying the ships. I...unfortunately never made it that far.” Her voice quivered with disappointment in herself.   
  
“Shit!” Ronaldo cursed out loud. “I mean, it’s okay that you never got there, but we need to find someone to-”   
  
“Ahem.” Yellow’s snarky voice piped up once more.   
  
“Stay quiet!” Blue growled. “We’re trying to focus here!”   
  
“Well, I was going to point out that while you may have been a failure at your job who was never valued enough to fly a ship,  _ I  _ was given the role of pilot during a trip to a neighboring planet to work out a quarrel between a Lapis Lazuli and an Agate,” she informed them. “I could probably fly us all to safety, but you don’t want my help, do you?”   
  
“Oh thank goodness!” Ronaldo breathed in relief, heading to free Yellow from her cell until Blue grabbed him by the back of the shirt.   
  
“What are you doing! She’ll kill us!!!” she snapped. “I told you, she cannot be trusted under any circumstances! How do we even know she’s telling the truth?”   
  
A loud buzzer-like noise sounded behind them. Turning around, they noticed the control panel above the pilot controls lighting up. Red letters reading “INCOMING METEORS” flashed across the screen.   
  
Ronaldo tugged his shirt away from Blue’s grasp. “If she doesn’t kill us, that will.”   
  
“W-wait…” Blue’s protest trailed off as she began to accept that they truly had no other choice.

Once Yellow had been freed from her imprisonment, Ronaldo led her over to the controls of the ship and stood over her. “Well then? Start flying this thing!”

“I  _ would _ if you weren’t breathing down my neck,” she sneered, sticking her nose in the air.

Blue stamped her foot. “How do we know you aren’t going to fly us straight back to the Diamonds and-”

A chunk of meteor whizzed by the window, making them all jump, and Blue tugged Ronaldo away. “Okay, fly, fly, fly!!!” she demanded to the other Zircon, who rolled her eyes and finally took control of the ship.

To Blue’s surprise, Yellow was managing to navigate the ship through the rain of meteors with enough of a stable hand that they weren’t getting flung around like tumbleweeds. She kept her gaze furiously fixed on the other, almost daring her to go off course or deliberately try to get them killed. However, Yellow pretended to pay no attention to her or the human, simply showing off her piloting skills with a smug little smile.

Accelerating, the ship was soon safe outside the skirts of the meteor shower and nearing closer and closer to the planet that Emerald’s ship had taken their friends to.

“Where would she have gone?” Ronaldo squinted, as if he could make out any of the topography on the planet.

“My guess? Probably the cosmic pavilion on this planet. It’s currently housing a historical warship that millions of gems will flock to see,” Yellow informed him. “A braggart like that Emerald would obviously want plenty of attention for this sort of occasion, and that’s the perfect place to do it.”

“Alright then, fly us there.” Ronaldo furrowed his brow. “And no funny business.”

Yellow smirked to herself. “I wouldn’t dare to think of it.”

Very shortly, she managed to land the spacecraft a short distance away from a large, gaudy building that was larger than any structure Ronaldo had seen on Earth. Although it wasn’t as big as the prison from earlier, it was still breathtakingly huge.

“How do we know that Emerald’s here though?” Blue frowned, looking through one of the side windows.

Ronaldo pointed through the opposite window with a casual smile. “Well, her ship over there might be a clue.”

“Well, that was a lot easier than expected!” Blue folded her arms. “Guess I misread you, Yello-”

She had turned to face the other Zircon, only to see she was gone. “...uh…Yellow?”

Ronaldo perked up as he heard the hatch of the ship open and immediately ran out of the galley, seeing the heels of a fleeing Yellow Zircon exiting the ship.

“Hey!!!” he yelled, chasing after her.

“I know the facilities on every planet!” Yellow panted with a proud grin as she ran. “I’ll contact the Diamonds! I’ll have you all turned in, and I’ll be a hero! You’ll be sorry you ever- OOF!!!”

Ronaldo had her tackled on the ground, his constant chasing of weirdness on Earth having given him exceptional stamina, at least when he wasn’t under any pressure such as the case with the Sodalites.

“We’ll be sorry we what now?”

* * *

 

 

“Are you sure this is a good idea? What if she pulls a stunt like that again?” Blue kept an eye on Yellow as she was spoke to Ronaldo, trailing behind him with an indignant look.

“She won’t get very far with that leash we have on her,” Ronaldo assured, having kept a children’s harness in his backpack among his miscellaneous essentials that he packed. It took a lot of fighting and struggling, but he’d managed to get it onto the Zircon to ensure she wouldn’t escape.

“I’ll get out eventually,” Yellow grumbled, feeling extremely degraded in this situation. 

“And we’ll just catch you again,” Blue sing-songed, feeling more than a little smug at her rival’s current state. She tucked her hands behind her back as she continued to walk alongside Ronaldo. “So any ideas for what we do next?”

“I’m still thinking, but you know what?” He gave a cocky smile that he’d mastered from his many days of watching anime. “I’ve always wanted to crash a wedding.”

 

_ There is nothin' fair in this world _

_ There is nothin' safe in this world _

_ And there's nothin' sure in this world _

_ And there's nothin' pure in this world _

_ Look for something left in this world _


	8. Killer Queen

  
_  
She's a Killer Queen_

_Gunpowder, gelatine_

_Dynamite with a laser beam_

_Guaranteed to blow your mind..._

 

Lars never really put too much thought into what his future wedding(s) would be like when he did finally manage to settle down and find the right person. But he was _pretty damn sure_ he would never agree to being literally bound by the hands and feet at the altar, guarded by four large intimidating gems and being forced to marry a batshit crazy gem equivalent to a praying mantis, in that she was probably going to bite his head off when she was done having her way with him.

Speaking of Emerald, he did have to admit it was a little amusing to see her walking around with the headphones still crammed on her ears and the music blaring so loud he could hear it from where he was standing.

“I LIKE THIS SERIES OF SOUNDS!!!” she yelled as she discovered the rewind button on the cassette player to play the song again and again. “CAN WE USE THESE?!”

“Can I just have my music back?” Lars groaned, glancing at one of the Citrine guards who simply responded with an uncaring shrug.

He groaned and looked up at the ceiling, sincerely hoping one of the light fixtures would fall and kill him instantly.

* * *

“Maybe we should form a plan before we jump into action?” Blue and Ronaldo were cowering behind the ship and watching the door of the pavilion, which was currently being guarded by two of Emerald’s Citrine guards. Yellow was sitting on the ground a few feet away from them, still on the leash and glaring down in frustration.  
  
“You’re right. We need to distract them somehow.” Ronaldo scratched his chin, attempting to remember an escape plan from a movie he’d seen that might be easy to mimic.  
  
“I got it!” he exclaimed after a few seconds of thinking. “Blue, you and Yellow should come up with a distraction for the guards while I sneak in and find the others.”  
  
“A distraction!?” Blue yelped in a whisper. “Ronaldo, you do know I’m kind of a wanted criminal, right? I know Citrines aren’t the sharpest gems around, but I don’t want to take any chances.”  
  
“These gems aren’t with Homeworld,” he explained. “You’ll be fine..”  
  
“Um, excuse me,” Yellow spoke, “don’t you think it’ll look a little...I don’t know, _odd_ that I’m being physically restrained by this degrading Earth device, especially by a gem that’s equal in rank to me?”  
  
“Hmmmmm you do have a point there,” Ronaldo thought out loud, “but if we let you go, you’ll probably betray us again soooo the leash stays. Sorry.”  
  
“Can we at least work out what to say before we go through with this?” Blue pleaded.  
  
“We don’t have much time.” Ronaldo handed Yellow’s leash to Blue. “Just say you’re here for the wedding.”  
  
“What!?! Why would we have possibly been invited to-” Before she could finish protesting, Ronaldo shoved Blue out from behind the ship, giving her a thumbs up and whistling to get the Citrines’ attention. The two guards were startled and looked around, eventually locking eyes with the anxious Zircon.  
  
“For the love of…” Blue hissed underneath her breath before walking toward the guards, dragging Yellow behind her. “H-hello, other gems who I have never seen before in my life! Would you be interested in uh...having a talk with me? Or, no...would you care if I...erm…”  
  
“Me and my second-in-command were invited to your Emerald’s wedding, whatever that means,” Yellow cut Blue off. “You see, we’re fellow rogue gems who she’s done business with in the past. We’ve left our Diamonds behind and now spend time scavenging other worlds for interesting devices that may assist us in our travels. Unfortunately, this one we found on the planet errr...I forgot its name, the one with the terrible infestation of Ronaldos-”  
  
“Earth!” Blue spat under her breath.  
  
“Yes, Earth! That’s the one! Thank you, second-in-command.”  
  
Blue rolled her eyes, not even wanting to bother with a response.  
  
“Anywho,” the leashed gem continued, “it was my plan to come here today dressed in this beautiful garment from the majestic planet Earth to let everyone know that I’m in charge here and not her. However, it’s proven to be very uncomfortable, and I no longer wish to wear it! I am unable to remove it myself, and this one’s too daft to figure it out.”  
  
“Watch it,” Blue snarled quietly.  
  
“Would you two beautiful gems be so kind as to help me remove this from my form?” Yellow looked at the Citrines with wide pleading eyes. “I know two strong, capable Citrines like you could probably figure it out in no time!”  
  
“Suck-up,” the other Zircon mouthed, earning a glare from Yellow.  
  
The two Citrines looked at one another suspiciously, but then glanced back at Yellow with warm smiles on their faces.  
  
“Of course!” one of them said.  
  
“Anything for a marvelous gem like you,” the other added with a wink.  
  
“Excellent!” Yellow smirked, and Blue turned to give Ronaldo a look that signaled him to make his way toward the door.  
  
Once the two Citrines had arrived to the spot where the Zircons were standing, one harshly grabbed the leash from Blue’s hand. “Give me that!”  
  
“Of course,” she replied with a bitter tone, obviously fed up with the situation.  
  
“Hey, behave!” snapped Yellow. “These wonderful Citrines have done nothing to warrant such behavior from you, second-in-command!” She glanced back to the two Quartzes with a haughty laugh. “I would call her my first mate, but even that seems too rewarding.”  
  
The Citrines chuckled in response and began to study the leash. “So how did you meet our Emerald?” one questioned.  
  
“Oh, it’s a really funny story actually! You see, me and my second-in-command-”  
  
“Stop calling me that,” Blue warned, trying to focus less on Yellow’s snide comments and more on watching Ronaldo to make sure he made it into the pavilion safely.  
  
“Okay, fine! Me and my _grunt_ were traveling toward a planet when-”  
  
“Oh come on, you know that’s not much better!”  
  
“We were traveling toward a planet when this one crashed the ship because she’s dumber than the silt beneath my gravity connectors and never learned how to pilot a ship on Homeworld because she was always the lowly, unskilled, disappointment while I was successful in my role and valued greatly by the Diamonds and know they’d probably take me back if I ever wished to resume my role in the court for whatever reason because _I’m actually useful unlike_ -”  
  
“OH MY STARS, DO YOU EVER SHUT UP ABOUT HOW GREAT YOU THINK YOU ARE!?!” Blue exploded, yanking the leash away from the Citrine and pulling it toward her so Yellow’s face almost collided with her own. “YOU CAN’T EVEN DISTRACT A COUPLE OF CITRINES WITHOUT MAKING IT ABOUT HOW PERFECT AND FLAWLESS YOU-”  
  
Blue stopped with a gasp once she realized her mistake. The two Citrines exchanged glances in momentary confusion.  
  
“Distract?” one of them inquired. “Wh-”  
  
“Hey!” the other suddenly exclaimed. “Isn’t that the weird thing on the Off-Colors’ ship that made Emerald cry?”  
  
Blue yelped and buried her face in her hands in embarrassment. Yellow only giggled smugly at the other’s mistake.  
  
“Nice going, smart one.”

* * *

“Lars, you ghastly waste of resources!” Emerald sing-songed as she returned, unaware of Lars’ failed attempt to try and pick at one of the restraints on his wrists. “Which of these wedding capes best expresses my intimidating, planet crushing power?” She held up two options. “I can’t decide.”

“How about neither?” Lars muttered, noticing that she wasn’t wearing his headphones anymore. “Did you finally get sick of blasting your ears out?”

“Oh, your sound contraption? It stopped working.”

“Great, you killed the batteries,” he grumbled. “Can I have it back then? Or at least the tape that was inside?”

She held the cassette player up, as if she were to offer it to him, then realized his hands were literally tied, and finding the closest thing to put it in, shoved the entire player in his mouth, much to his shock and frustration.

“Whu th fuh?!” he snapped, trying to spit the thing out. “Emruhl!!!”

“Now back to these capes…” she held them up again. “I really want it to scream ‘I will destroy your planet and look fabulous while doing it’.”

Spitting the cassette player out of his mouth and letting it fall to the floor (much to his concern), he glowered at her before an idea popped into his head. “Hey, you know, in weddings on Earth, the brides wear _dresses_.”

“...Really?” She rubbed her chin in thought. “Well then, I suppose I’ll have to search for something in that regard!” She gave a haughty laugh and ran out, shouting for a couple of her Citrines to follow her and help her create a dress. Well and to at least find out what a wedding dress looked like.

Lars sighed, looking down at his cassette player. He hoped it still worked.

* * *

 

The three were unceremoniously thrown into a prison cell, one on top of the other. “Yellow, get your ass out of my face,” Ronaldo groaned before sitting up, both Zircons toppling off of him.

“Ronaldo!” a voice gasped.

Looking up, Ronaldo saw the rest of the Off-Colors, sans Lars, huddled together in the prison cell and quite relieved to see him.

“You guys!” he grinned. “We were worried about you!”

“I wasn’t,” Yellow butted in.

Blue Zircon shut her up with a glare and looked around. “How long have you been in here?”

“Not very long,” one of the twins assured.  
  
“We might be getting out of here pretty soon…” the other continued.

“I hope,” Rhodonite mumbled. “I don’t even know what a ‘bridesmaid’ does.”

“ _Whatever  it  does,  I’m  sure  it’s  lovely_ ,” Fluorite said with a smile.

“HELP WE’RE STUCK IN HERE!” Padparadscha yelled suddenly, banging on the wall.

“Uh…” Ronaldo began to sweat a little and looked around, seeing a makeshift sign taped up on the cell wall with the poorly penned words “BRIDESMAID DRESSING ROOM” scrawled on it.

“What do you even dress in?” he asked, looking at the gems. They all shrugged, still not really knowing what to do.

Emerald suddenly walked in front of the cell with her two Citrine guards. Ronaldo and the Zircons hid behind Fluorite before she could notice them.

“Alright!” she shounted. “The ceremony has been postponed for a short while longer! You all are to stay in this dressing room until you are given further instruction!!!”

“Do we have a choice?” Rhodonite mumbled.

“You can choose to either be a part of this wedding or DIE!!!” Emerald gnashed her teeth, then primped her hair as she calmed herself. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to research what a ‘wedding dress’ entails and if it can include flames!” She scrolled the gem tech screen on her wrist, looking at different examples as she walked away. “Ooh, this one has _sleeves!_ ” she said cheerfully to one of the Citrines flanking her.

Once she was out of earshot, Ronaldo and the Zircons came out of hiding, and the human spoke. “Okay uhhhh...looks like we have a nice window of time to plan an escape, but we’ll definitely have to do it without getting any attention from those guards. They’re pretty loyal to Emerald it seems.”

“Oh yeah,” Rhodonite rubbed her forehead. “They do whatever she says.”

Fluorite blinked, an idea forming very very very slowly in her head as she looked at the two Zircons standing next to each other.

Blue and Yellow made a very familiar color to her.

 _“...I  think  I  have  an  idea,_ ” the large gem smiled.

“What’s that?” Ronaldo looked over to her.

Smiling even wider to the two bickering Zircons, Fluorite pointed to them. “ _Are  you  two  able to shapeshift?_ ”

“Well, _of course_ we are!” Yellow rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. “What kind of silly question is that?”

“ _Well… are  you  familiar  with  fusion?_ ”

“What on Epsilon are you getting at!?!” The snooty gem narrowed her eyes.

Fluorite only continued to smile. Catching onto what she was getting at, Yellow and Blue both recoiled in shock.  
  
“Stars, no!” Blue screamed in surprise. “We can’t...with her...we wouldn’t even...I mean, I guess we could t-”  
  
“I’d rather be shattered!” Yellow screeched over her. “Zircons aren’t even made for fusion. Also, if I ever did want to give it a try for whatever reason, it certainly wouldn’t be with _her_ .”  
  
“Aw, c’mon!” Ronaldo whined. “You’re our only hope, and it would just be for a little while. Plus, I was getting excited!”  
  
“Ronaldo, I’m really sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t know about this,” Blue nervously sighed, nodding to the other Zircon who still looked appalled by the suggestion.  
  
“ _It  won’t  work  if  they’re  not  ready_ ,” Fluorite followed up. “ _Fusion  is  a  mutual  decision  that  cannot be  forced._   _We  will  find  another  way  to  escape._ ”  
  
“Alright,” the human agreed, patting Blue on the back. “Don’t worry about it, Blue. We’ll think of something.”  
  
She smiled at him but still couldn’t help feeling guilty. Part of the reason why she didn’t go through with it is because she felt like Yellow wouldn’t be comfortable. If she was, it would be a whole different story. Blue had quickly grown fond of her new friends and would do anything to pay them back for saving her life, even if it meant fusing with a gem she wasn’t too fond of at all.  
  
“Fluorite,” Ronaldo turned to the fusion, “are any of your counterparts a green gem that can shapeshift?”  
  
“ _Let  me  think,_ ” the leisurely fuson answered. “ _Hmmmmmmmm…well  there  is  an  Amethyst...and  a-_ ”  
  
While Fluorite was going over the gems she was made of, Blue noticed that Yellow was still looking upset but not in the way she’d previously been. She had her back turned to the others and her arms crossed against her chest.  
  
Feeling an odd sense of pity for the Zircon despite everything, Blue decided that it might be in her best interest to comfort her. If Yellow was distant from the team for the rest of their escape, it could interfere with their work, and Lars would be lost to that maniacal Emerald forever.  
  
Swallowing her pride, Blue nervously walked over to speak to Yellow. “Uh...hey,” she began, “I’m sorry if that whole awkward thing over there got to you. I don’t think they really understand how we see one another.”  
  
Yellow looked to her and scoffed. “You’re apologizing to me? Ha! Have I finally put you in your place?”  
  
“Ugh, no!” Blue rolled her eyes in frustration. “I was just trying to say that it’s okay if you’re not ready to try fusion in case you were upset about it or something. But of course, I can’t even show compassion to you without you degrading me so never mind!”  
  
Yellow curled her lip in response to Blue’s comment, but her expression suddenly began to soften. “Are you saying that you would have been okay with it?”  
  
“I-I mean, if it were to help out someone who saved my gem from being broken to pieces, I’d at least try,” she explained anxiously, knowing she’d get made fun of but deciding to take the bullet anyway. “Zircons are made to be loyal and helpful, and since I’m no longer putting those qualities toward a Diamond, I feel compelled to-”  
  
“Wait a second,” Yellow snarled, narrowing her eyes at Blue, “I see what you’re trying to do!”  
  
She stopped her explanation upon the other’s outburst. “Beg your pardon?”  
  
“I can see right through everything you say, you sneaky little cretin!” Yellow shouted, getting the whole cell’s attention. “You’re trying to one-up me, aren’t you?”  
  
Blue sighed in annoyance. “No, actually, I’m n-”  
  
Suddenly, Padparadscha’s voice spoke up from behind them. “That won’t work! Yellow Zircon can’t fuse!”  
  
“Great,” Blue grumbled underneath her breath before finding herself face to face with the other Zircon.  
  
“I’m not going to let you win this time! Let’s do this!”  
  
“W-wait are you serious?” Blue took a step back in surprise. “Are you sure you don’t need to think about this first? It’s fine with me if you actually want to try, but I don’t want to rush you!”  
  
Fluorite's eyes widened as she made a huge realization of herself, “ _Actually!_    _I  believe  that  one  of  the  gems  I  am  made  of  is  actually  an  Eme-_ ”  
  
“Can it, you six-legged freak!” Yellow rudely silenced Fluorite. “It’s time to form Green Zircon.”

* * *

“...Emerald, what are you doing in the prison cell- I mean, “Bridesmaids” room?” a passing Citrine asked, looking confused.

Green Zircon was sweating profusely as her counterparts tried to keep the facade while being fused together.

“Well uh…” the newly-formed fusion spoke whilst shapeshifted, “I was...thrown in here myself!”

The Citrine gasped in horror. “By who! Was it that loud-mouthed thing over there?” Ronaldo didn’t even have to look to know she was talking about him.

“Oh, that thing? No! It was uh…..”  
  
Ronaldo and the Off-Colors were beginning to get nervous, hoping the two rival gems would be able to get this done in the amount of time given.  
  
“Yellow Diamond!” Green Zircon blurted out, looking disgusted immediately after. “Are you serious? Just blame my Diamond on ev-I mean yes! She uh...crashed the wedding! And she’s planning on having everyone here captured and shattered!”  
  
“Oh no!” the Citrine yelped. “Yellow Diamond!?! What do we do?”  
  
“You could start by getting me out of here!” the shapeshifted fusion ordered. “And then go tell the others to run as far away from here as possible. I’ll stay behind and deal with her!”  
  
“But Emerald, won’t you need our help?”  
  
“I don’t need anyone’s help! Aha! Ha ha ha ha!” Green Zircon tried to imitate Emerald’s signature evil laugh but didn’t do a very good job of it. This caused Ronaldo to bury his face in his hands from secondhand embarrassment.  
  
“Yes, Emerald!” The Citrine nodded, freeing who she thought was her leader from the prison cell while keeping a close eye on the Off-Colors to make sure none of them slipped past her. “Should we take the Off-Colors’ leader with us?”

“Yes- I MEAN NO!!! Leave him at the altar, and I will deal with him myself! Just evacuate everyone else in there!”

“Well...if you’re sure, Emerald…”  
  
“Now get out of here, quickly!” Green Zircon demanded. “And never come back here again!”  
  
“Yes, Emerald!” the Citrine repeated, running out of the room as fast as she could.  
  
As soon as the Quartz had exited, the two Zircons unfused almost instantly, causing each of them to land on the floor with a loud thud.  
  
“Whew!” Blue sighed in relief. “Thank the stars that’s over! Right Yellow?” She laughed and glanced over at her rival, who seemed to be staring at the wall in front of her. “Um...Yellow?”  
  
“Huh!? Oh! Yeah...” she replied, sounding distracted.  
  
Blue was going to ask again if she was alright before Rhodonite’s voice stopped her from doing so.  
  
“Um, hello!?! Can we get out of here and make a run for it now before they figure us out!?!”

* * *

Lars didn't exactly know what happened. One minute a Citrine was subjecting him to a questionnaire relayed from Emerald in regards to decor and other things he couldn't care less about, and the next every single Citrine was running around and screaming for their lives, fleeing the room without even giving him any further attention.

“Uh…” he glanced around, still tied at the hands and feet. “Hello? Anyone?”

After a good five minutes of being stuck in there alone, Lars sighed and made a less than hidden effort to undo the ties on his hand, managing to get them free. He then untied his feet, sighing in relief as he grabbed his cassette player and headphones.

Walking out of the ceremony room, he sauntered down the hall. “Anybody here?”

When he received no answer, he kept wandering around. After turning a corner, he saw his crew in a huddle and heard Ronaldo whispering. He tiptoed over so he could hear exactly what he were saying to them.

“So we crawl through the vents, dismantle the power, which should disable the security system-”

“What about the guards next to Lars?” Rhodonite interrupted.

“We put them in sleeper holds or grab the gem destabilizer on one of their belts.”

Lars grinned smugly. “Great plan.”

They all turned around in surprise to hear him and gasped in unison when they saw him standing there.

“Captain!!!” his crew cheered.

“Lars!!!” Ronaldo grinned then immediately pouted. “I was going to drop down from the ceiling and swoop you into my arms like a superhero!”

“Sorry to spoil your fantasy,” Lars headed. “Did you guys have something to do with all the Citrine guards nearly shitting their pants in fear and running out?”

“Maybe.” Ronaldo fixed his glasses dramatically. “Though you should thank the Zircons for that.” He grinned, pointing to the two.

“Do I even wanna know how?” Lars cocked an eyebrow.

“No,” Yellow spoke quickly, face slightly flushed and going out of her way to not look at Blue.

“Well, I'd hate to spoil this happy reunion, but we should probably get moving before anyone notices I've left the altar.” Lars glanced to the side.

“Can I at least carry you out to the ship?” Ronaldo teased.

“Absolutely fucking not.”

* * *

“- and then the Citrines ran off screaming about Yellow Diamond!” Ronaldo finished retelling the story to Lars.

“Oh my god!” Lars cackled, leaning back in his chair. “That's a fucking riot!!!”

“Moral of the story: Emeralds are vain as all get out, and Citrines are dumb as sawdust,” the human snickered, stretching his back.

“You dodged one large bullet,” Blue Zircon commented from her spot over near Rhodonite’s chair. “Emerald is probably in her wedding getup, hopping mad right now. Imagine living with that crazy gem for eternity. I would turn myself in and accept my shattering if I were in that position!”  
  
“It would make thinking of your inevitable death a positive thing,” Ronaldo responded with a laugh.  
  
“What do you mean?” Blue asked, confused. “Shattering’s not inevitable! You didn’t know that?”  
  
“Well…” Ronaldo racked his brain, trying to figure out how to explain the concept of death to a basically immortal being in the quickest and least confusing way possible, “humans don’t live forever. We all kind of...go away some day, even if we aren’t necessarily hurt. There just comes a point in our lives where it has to happen.”  
  
“Oh…” She seemed to understand the basics of it, smile falling.  
  
“And sometimes we’re given a second chance and come back pink because of some half-gem boy’s magical tears,” Lars couldn’t help but add, trying to shed some light on the situation.  
  
“Is that what happened to you?” Blue questioned.  
  
“Yep.”  
  
“And it could happen again when you get to the point in your life where it has to?”

Lars’ smile shrunk a little. “I guess? I...really don’t know come to think of it…”

“Well, nothing to worry about now.” Blue threw her hands up with a relaxed smile, watching the stars out the window for a moment before she looked over, seeing Yellow staring ahead out the window with an unreadable face, still leashed up and tied to a chair.

Hesitating a moment, she walked over and glanced to the side. “So...uh...we did pretty good back there, didn't we?”

Yellow glanced at her and gave a dismissive noise.  
  
“What’s going on?” Blue pried. “Ever since we fused, you’ve gone silent. You’re _never_ silent! As annoying as you typically are, I have to admit it’s a little unnerving to not have you blabbering at me all the time.”  
  
She was met with a disgruntled stare from the other. “Why do you care?”  
  
“Oh, so I’m not allowed to be worried about you either?”  
  
“No! I mean...ugh.” Yellow suddenly dropped all anger present in her expression, and it was clouded over with something Blue had never seen from her before. “I don’t know if I’m okay, but it’s nothing you would understand.”  
  
“Would you stab my eye out of I still asked what was wrong?” the other Zircon replied in a semi-comforting tone.  
  
Yellow averted her stare from the other. “No! It’s just...as much as it kills me to admit, fusing with you uh...it kind of...made me realize how lonel-”  
  
A loud blaring noise cut the Zircon off, causing her and Blue both to squeak in astonishment and cover their ears.  
  
“IT WORKS!!!” Ronaldo screamed over the deafening music, pausing the tape recorder as quickly as he could after he spoke and handing it back to Lars. “But I probably should have plugged the headphones in before pressing play.”  
  
“Ya think?” Lars grumbled, taking it from him. “I don’t see how Emerald didn’t go deaf. But anyway, thanks for the batteries.”  
  
“Aw, it was nothing! I have several packed if you ever need more.” The human ran a hand down his neck and blushed. “Anything for you.”  
  
His comment got a small giggle out of Lars, whose cheeks were becoming a darker shade of pink than usual. “I think I’m gonna chill for a while and listen to some tunes,” he continued with another small laugh, plugging the headphones into his tape player. “If you need anything, just tap on my shoulder.”  
  
“Aye aye, captain!” Ronaldo gave Lars a joking salute and made him laugh again.  
  
Once he had been left alone, the space pirate turned the tape on and shut his eyes. He knew he should be content seeing that he’d just escaped a forced marriage with his worst enemy, but now something else was on his mind and leaving him unable to be completely at ease.  


_Drop of a hat she's as willing as_

_Playful as a pussycat_

_Then momentarily out of action_

_Temporarily out of gas_

_To absolutely drive you wild, wild_

_She's all out to get you_


	9. So Far Away

 

_Traveling around sure gets me down and lonely_

_Nothing else to do but close my mind..._

 

Lars was awakened suddenly by Steven crawling through his head, but just before, he’d been dreaming of home and swore he heard a familiar comforting song. However, it had slipped his mind just as fast as he’d remembered it.

“So...you’ll tell the gems about my question, right?” Lars asked. “You’ll try to get an answer for me?”

“Of course.” Steven smiled reassuringly but haltingly. “But I don’t really know how much they’d know about how old Lion is or where he came from...I guess Connie and I will have to do some research on that. But yeah, by the next time I visit you, I hope I can answer your question!”

“Great!” Lars gave a relieved smile. “And like, y’know it’s no big deal if you can’t, but...I would really like to find out, y’know? Like how old am I gonna wind up being? It’s kinda a lot to think about.” He gave  an awkward laugh, not wanting to fully admit how anxious this made him.

“I get you.” Steven patted his chest. “But don’t worry about it! Just enjoy the care package for now!” he beamed, grabbing his backpack as he climbed onto Lars’ back to step inside his hair.

“See you in a couple weeks!” he chirped as he disappeared into the pocket dimension, leaving Lars to sit alone with the box in his lap.

“Another care package?” Ronaldo grinned. “Did he leave me anything?”

“Let’s see,” Lars spoke under his breath, opening it, then snickered. “Other than the food and clothes and stuff you need to live...yeah, he left you something.” He held up a large manga volume.

Ronaldo gave a whoop of excitement and ran over to grab it, ready to voraciously read it in his private quarters. Hugging the book to his chest, he looked in the box. “Anything from my dad or Peedee?”

Lars rifled through the box, then passed him an envelope with his name on it. “Probably this?” he suggested. The human skittered away to his room to read his manga and his letter.

The rest of the stuff was what Lars often expected from the care packages, some fresh clothes (which he never really wore), snacks (which he just gave to Ronaldo), batteries for the tape player, photos from home, letters from friends and then some.

“Sweet, a new mix tape!” He grinned, examining it and wondering what was on it. While he popped it in the cassette player, keeping his headphones on, he decided to read the letter that was folded underneath it.

“Lars,

I was going through all the tapes I made back when you were young and found one of my favorites. I listened to it, and it made me think of you. I hope you’re doing well in space and that things don’t get too lonely up there. I’m so happy you have made so many friends on your ship and that you’re taking good care of yourself. Your dad and I love you very much.

We hope you can come home soon.

Love,

Mom”

Lars sighed softly as he realized it was going to be more than a long while before he could come home, even for a visit. It just wasn’t safe. Pressing the play button on the tape deck, he smiled softly as he heard the familiar tune of his mother’s old Carole King album, the one she’d play in the living room during the summer time when he was a little kid.

_So far away_

_Doesn't anybody stay in one place any more?_

_It would be so fine to see your face at my door_

_And it doesn't help to know you're just time away_

His smile faltered as he listened to the song, realizing this was the tune he’d dreamed about earlier. It was a song he was familiar with and one he never paid much mind to when he was back on Earth. But now, as he sat in this piece of gem-tech ridden spacecraft, he just imagined himself sitting back in the living room of his home, cross legged on the floor as he scribbled away drawing himself as a Jedi slaying Darth Maul and nibbling on the sandwich his mother would give him before she sat down to eat her own lunch in front of the portable fan they would put out during the summer to keep the house cool. He missed that.

He missed getting a pat on the head and a kiss on the cheek goodnight.  

He missed his kitchen.

He missed the living room and the record player and the lunches in summertime.

He missed his mom.

He missed his dad.

He missed his friends.

He missed Earth.

His throat caught as the song continued, and before he realized it, his face had grown hot, and he was blinking tears away.

“Captain!” Rhodonite put a hand to her mouth when she realized the troubled expression on his face. “Are you okay?!”

Lars heard the fusion speak but didn’t answer. He froze in place and tried to cover his face as best as he possibly could, not wanting anyone to see the tears slowly making their way down it.  
  
However, he didn’t act quickly enough. The Rutile twins also spoke to him.  
  
“Is something wrong?” one asked.  
  
“Do you need help?” her twin followed.  
  
“I-I’m...fine,” Lars choked, trying not to let his crew hear his sniffling.  
  
“ _Are  you  sure?_ ” Fluorite’s leisurely voice added.  
  
“You don’t look fine,” Blue piped up, making her way to where the rest of the Off-Colors were after she’d been idly watching the stars. “Are you not feeling well? Ronaldo did say something to me about a thing called motion sickness that bothers him in space sometimes. Is that what this is? Are you sick?”  
  
“N-no!” Lars answered, almost snapping but trying his best not to. “I’m okay, I sw-”  
  
“LAAAAARS!!!” Ronaldo’s loud voice came echoing throughout the halls as he ran from his room, the large manga volume Steven had brought for him clenched in his hand. “Okay, I know you don’t really read this kind of stuff, but I just _have_ to show you what happened in this vol-wait…” His voice trailed off when he became aware of the other’s emotional state. “Lars...are you…”  
  
“Oh no!” Padparadscha suddenly chimed in. “Lars is crying!”  
  
Overwhelmed by all the attention he was getting mixed with his aching desire to be back home, Lars jumped to his feet and bolted to his personal headquarters without saying a word.

The entire crew was left in silence for a few long moments, until Yellow Zircon spoke up. “I declare this the perfect time to form a mutiny.”

The twins and Rhodonite both glared at her, and Blue shrugged. “Maybe we should just leave him alone? I have no idea how human ailments work, but if he’s contagious I don’t want to catch it.”

The other gems nodded, still looking worried, but went back to whatever it was they were doing.

Ronaldo agreed with the suggestion Blue made but not so much the sentiment. Lars probably needed to be left alone, but he knew if he checked on him, he wasn’t going to get ill. “I’ll go talk to him,” he sighed, tucking the manga under his arm and heading towards Lars’ room.

Once he got inside, he saw Lars had kicked his boots off, leaving them in a pile with his gloves and cape, and was sitting on the fold up bed, hugging his knees as he hid his face against them. He left the contents from the care package strewn on the bed.

“Lars?” Ronaldo spoke up softly.

The other perked his head up and looked over at his human friend, revealing that he was still crying. “...I’m fine,” he mumbled. “I just want to be alone, okay?”

“...Okay.” Ronaldo anxiously picked at one of his shirt buttons, still feeling like he should say more to his friend. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing. Just a little homesick.” Lars wiped his eyes with his wrist as he spoke.

“Oh…” Ronaldo glanced away, trying to think his words over. “...I miss home too sometimes.”  
  
“Yeah, but you could go back without putting everyone in danger.”  
  
Not being the best at words in situations like this and not wanting to overstay his welcome as he often did, Ronaldo felt that it might be in his best interest to give Lars some space. “Are you sure you want to be alone?”  
  
Lars nodded in his head in response. “Sorry…”  
  
“No, it’s okay! I understand. But I’m here if you need anything. I promise.”  
  
The captain made eye contact with him, his eyes still red and puffy from crying yet managing to show that he was touched by the human’s reassurance. “Thank you…”  
  
“Like I said earlier,” Ronaldo spoke softly while making his way toward the door, “anything for you.”  
  
The last thing he saw before leaving the other to collect himself was a small but genuine smile from Lars flashed in his direction.  
  
Ronaldo made his way back into the main room of the ship, where the Off-Colors and Blue were gathered around one another, concerned and eager to hear if their captain was going to be okay.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Rhodonite instantly began asking questions. “Is he going to be okay?”  
  
“He’ll be fine,” Ronaldo reassured her and everyone else. “He’s just got a lot on his mind and needs to be alone for a while.”  
  
“Oh, I see,” Blue muttered, concern still present in her voice.  
  
“How long will he be in there?” one of the Rutiles asked.  
  
“Did he say?” the other followed.  
  
“I’m not sure,” Ronaldo told them, “but he’ll probably be out before we know it! For now we should uhhhhh...continue going as planned?”  
  
“Right!” the twins chirped simultaneously.  
  
“ _Thank  you  for  checking  on  him,  Ronaldo,_ ” Fluorite said to him, making her way down to the engine room. “ _If  he  needs  me,  tell  him  I’m  where  I  always  am._ ”  
  
“I will, don’t worry!” Her statement made Ronaldo wonder if Lars often went to Fluorite when he wasn’t feeling his best. He could understand why.  
  
“Ronaldo’s back!” Padparadscha informed everyone in the background.  
  
While the human watched the crew take their normal positions, something tugged at the sleeve of his shirt. He turned around to see Blue looking at him, her face clouded with worry.  
  
“Does he have one of those “illnesses” you told me about?” she squeaked. “Don’t get me wrong, I love being around Lars, but I don’t fancy catching the...was it the allegros?”  
  
“That’s allergies, Blue.” Ronaldo chuckled at her mistake. “And no, he’s not that kind of sick. He’s just homesick.”  
  
“Homesick?” She gasped in horror. “So he’s going to make everyone in his home sick too!?! The ship is his home, right? That means us! We must evacuate at once!!!”  
  
“No!” He was beginning to regret telling Blue anything about earth illnesses. “Homesick isn’t actually being sick. It’s more of like...well, do you ever miss Homeworld?”  
  
The Zircon reacted to the question with a bittersweet frown. “I try not to, but honestly, I can’t help it sometimes. It was all I’ve ever known for so long, and although I can never go back, it’s hard to not miss where you came from. Even if you don’t mind where you ended up.”  
  
Her words touched Ronaldo’s heart as he began to connect them to Lars’ homesickness in his mind, as well as his own that he suffered with from time to time. “That’s exactly what’s wrong with Lars. He misses Earth and thinks he can’t go back without leading Homeworld gems straight to his friends and family. I’m sure he loves it in space, but like you said, it’s really hard for him not to miss his home.”  
  
“Do you ever get homesick?” Blue questioned him. “You came from Earth as well, correct?”  
  
“Yeah, at both things.” Ronaldo began to think about all he’d left behind to come to space with Lars. “I love spending time with you and Lars and the rest of the crew, but I still really miss everything back home. The lighthouse, the beach, the arcade, the pizza, the wifi, my brother, my dad…”  
  
“What’s a brother? And a dad?” Blue halted him to ask. “Forgive me if I’m mistaken, but I don’t think I’ve heard those words before.”  
  
“Oh! They’re my family.”  
  
“What’s a family?”  
  
“A family is…” Ronaldo ran a hand through his hair, trying to figure out how to explain this to Blue, “...a group of people who you feel like you belong with. Most of the time they’re related to you, meaning you’ve known them your whole life, but sometimes people you meet and grow close to start to feel more like family than anything else you’ve ever had. It kind of has a broad definition.”  
  
“So...like the crew?” Blue prodded further. “Are we a family?”  
  
Hearing that from the Zircon flattered Ronaldo immensely, even if she didn’t fully understand the concept of family yet. It was still touching that he and his friends were the first thing that came to her mind when she heard the definition. “If you feel that way then yes. We’re your family.”  
  
“I like the sound of that,” she mused, grinning widely. “Me, you, Lars and the Off-Colors are a family! And...oh, wait, what about Yellow?”  
  
Before Ronaldo could give his input, he heard the sound of approaching footsteps from around the corner.

Lars sheepishly stepped in the doorway, smiling tiredly. “I’m back.”

“ _Are  you  feeling  better?_ ” Fluorite asked with warm concern, head popping out from the engine room.

“Yeah. I am.” He gave a reassuring smile to her and returned to his seat, sighing softly.

“We know you miss your family on Earth,” one of the Rutiles began, which made Lars perk up in surprise to look at her.

“But we’re happy to be your family in space!” the other grinned.

Lars gave another soft smile. “Thanks, guys. That...really means a lot,” he spoke, voice a little tired.

Ronaldo could tell he was still pretty upset so he decided to do what he did best when it came to cheering people up: he hugged him tightly, comfortingly running his hands up and down his back as he did so.

Lars certainly didn’t expect it, tensing up at the sudden contact, only relaxing after a few seconds, and accepting it. And neither of them expected to suddenly be joined by the Off-Colors, leaving Lars pleasantly smooshed. Ronaldo glanced over to Blue Zircon and gave a quick nod for her to get in on the love, and she awkwardly but cheerfully accepted, jumping into the group’s embrace. Yellow Zircon watched from her spot with a blank expression for a few seconds before averting her gaze to look out the window at the stars.

“O-Okay guys, I love y’all too, but I can’t breathe,” Lars wheezed.

* * *

“Goodness Emerald, it feels like ages since I’ve seen your loud mouth,” Aquamarine giggled as she conversed through her ship’s screen. “And...what exactly is that you’re _wearing?_ ”

“It WAS a wedding dress,” Emerald snarled, her makeup smeared in her rage, “but that disgusting scoundrel of a pirate escaped the ceremony before it even began!!!”

“That...what?” Aquamarine scrunched up her face in confusion, not comprehending a word of what Emerald was saying.

“That no-good, off-colored scum stood me up!” she raged. “I had our whole wedding planned out, and everything was going so well! We were going to conquer the galaxy together! But then he…” Her voice began to trail off and she sniffled, tears forming in her eyes before she threw back her head and wailed, “HE LEFT ME AT THE ALTAAAAR!!!”

Aquamarine watched with a deadpan expression as her old colleague broke down into a shower of tears in front of her. She still didn't understand anything she had told her and honestly, she didn't even want to try.

“Now, now, Emerald,” she attempted to comfort her, “it's going to be okay-”

“No it’s nooooot! I went out of my way not to harm him when I absconded him and his crew, and I complimented his music, and I made sure the restraints around his hands and legs weren't _too_ painful, and I wasn’t even going to make him change clothes, and he still just LEFT ME THEEEERE!!!” She exploded into tears again, trying to say more, but it was inaudible through her blubbering.

Becoming very annoyed by her disgusting emotions, Aquamarine raised an eyebrow. “Emerald, you're losing me. Who did all of this to you?”

She looked up from her breakdown, her makeup even more smeared than it was before. “Lars, that wretched captain of the Off-Colors.”

“Lars!?!” Aquamarine suddenly gasped in shock, almost propelling herself from her chair. “The pink human who’s traveling space with that crew of defects?”

Emerald nodded. “And that ugly fleshy thing that called me a troll, whatever that means.”

The small blue gem’s eyes narrowed, and she smirked deviously. “Ah yes, I know _just_ who you are talking about!” She chuckled menacingly. “Say, Emerald?”

“Yesssss?”

“How would you like some _revenge_?”

Upon hearing the word “revenge,” the rogue gem’s frown slowly morphed into a devilish smirk, and a small yet devious laugh left her throat. “Oh, Aquamarine, you _know_ I love revenge.”

“Then let me tell you how I can help you get some!”

As the two continued to form a plan for the defeat of Lars and the Off-Colors, Aquamarine became so caught up in her plotting that she didn't notice someone was listening to every word of it with deep concern or the escape pod that eventually left her ship.

_Holding you again would only do me good_

_Oh how I wish I could but you're so far away_


	10. Everybody Wants to Rule the World

  
  
_Welcome to your life_

_There's no turning back_

_Even while we sleep_

_We will find you acting on your best behavior_

_Turn your back on mother nature_

_Everybody wants to rule the world…_

  
  
After the crew’s bonding session, Lars was feeling a lot better. His mind was still flooded with thoughts of home, as well as the possible answers to the question he’d asked Steven, but overall, he was having a pretty swell time. The crew decided take it easy for a day, seeing that so much had happened lately. For now, Lars was content sitting in his captain’s chair with his music playing out loud while Ronaldo told the crew stories of his life on Earth.   
  
“And then my dad came into the kitchen to get a drink of water and heard me screaming,” Ronaldo finished his tale. “So in the end, I was safe, but trust me, you never want to get stuck under a fridge. _Ever_ .”   
  
“Wow, that sounds awful!” Rhodonite gasped anxiously. “Are you sure Earth is really safe? Fridges sound terrifying!”   
  
Lars and Ronaldo both couldn’t help but laugh lightheartedly at the fusion’s irrational fear. “Trust me, they’re not that bad,” Ronaldo reassured her. “Even after my experience, I still use mine back home. Heck, I even have one here!”   
  
Rhodonite jumped back in terror, causing the two to stifle laughter as one of the Rutile twins comfortingly put a hand on her shoulder.   
  
“Earth sure does sound like a backwards planet. No offense.” Blue smiled as she spoke, sitting close to Ronaldo and leaning to rest her back on the side of Lars’ chair. “I wonder if I’ll ever get to see it.”   
  
“If we go back, I’m sure we can take you with us!” The human beamed, looking to Lars for confirmation.   
  
The captain jokingly rolled his eyes. “Oh, I suppose.”   
  
“Alright!” Ronaldo cheered, turning to Blue in excitement. “I can’t wait to show you everything back home, especially the lighthouse! I think you’d really love a lot of the documents I have there. They’re top secret, but you strike me as someone who knows how to keep things confidential. What do you say?”   
  
“I’d say I’ve always been a fan of research, and by what I’ve heard, your studies sound immensely interesting,” Blue answered. “I’d love to be a part of them some day if all possible. Oh, and I’ve practically lived my whole life in the courtroom. I know very well that what is said between me and a client stays that way until further notice.”   
  
“Awesome!” Ronaldo squealed, craning his head up to look at Lars. “And of course there’s always room for one more.”   
  
Lars glanced down at the human and gave him a playful smirk. “What are you getting at, Fryman?”   
  
“Ohhhh nothing, just that maaaaaybe we cooould...have a Beach City Explorer Club reunion?” He delivered the last part of his sentence as quickly as possible, yet still making sure the words were understandable.   
  
He could tell that wasn’t what Lars was expecting to hear. The captain’s eyes shot open wide at the mention of the name they called themselves back when they were kids and closer than ever. Ronaldo wondered if he might have spoken too soon but was relieved of those worries when a genuine hearty laugh left Lars’ throat.   
  
“Heh, maybe,” he spoke. “I guess we are kind of exploring together now though. What are we the uh...Somewhere in the Middle of Space Explorer Club?”   
  
Ronaldo giggled at his joke, blushing a little. He always loved it when Lars messed around with him like that. “We might wanna go with something shorter. That wouldn’t look too good on paper.”   
  
“Pardon me,” Blue gently interrupted, “but what in the galaxy’s name are you two talking about?”   
  
“Oh, right!” He remembered that Blue was still fairly new to knowing either one of them. “It’s this thing Lars and I had going back when we were...uh…” He stammered as he realized that he didn’t really know what Lars was to him at the moment. Surely they were at least friends by now. But were they best friends? They were to Ronaldo, maybe even a bit more...   
  
“Young,” he concluded, going with the safest route.   
  
“We got into sooo much trouble back then,” Lars continued, running a hand through his hair. “Remember that one time when we thought your dad was Bigfoot and ambushed him with baseball bats and a potato?”   
  
“Oh god, I try not to. He had a huge bump on his head for months after that, and somehow it seems like I was grounded longer than it took for it to go away.”   
  
“Really?” Lars choked back a loud snort. “That’s fucking hilarious!”   
  
“Not to me!”   
  
Blue listened to the two earthlings share memories of their childhood together for what seemed like forever. It made her heart swell to be able to bond with others like this. However, the other Zircon wasn’t so happy.   
  
Yellow had returned to her cell so she didn’t have to be displayed in the middle of the ship, bound by those hideous Earth restraints. Being cooped up in a tiny space wasn’t much fun but anything topped that. She wanted to tell the Off-Colors that she wasn’t going to try anything again but knew they wouldn’t believe her. She couldn’t blame them.   
  
Ever since she’d been poofed by her own Diamond in the middle of Rose Quartz’s trial, something told her it was the end of her career serving the leaders who once meant the galaxy to her. Sure, she’d try to beg and plead her way back into their lives and lie to herself in an attempt to feel like she had a chance or at least try to make others think she did, but in the end, Yellow knew she was just one of the many Zircons in Yellow Diamond’s court and wouldn’t be missed, no matter how well she did her job. Even if she had managed to hijack the ship or find a communication device near the pavilion and bring Lars, the Off-Colors, Blue and the Ronaldo to the Diamonds, she figured it probably wouldn’t have been enough to save her. At least she would have gone out with a bang. But she didn’t want to do that now.   
  
Something about the way they all acted around one another managed to warm even the most cold and unfeeling of hearts. Yellow was living proof of this. After she had impulsively fused with Blue, she had became suspect to something she never thought she could feel. She didn’t even know what to call it. Fusing with Blue made her feel...special.   
  
It was as if someone was with her at all times, always looking out for her. She knew that’s technically what it was, but she hadn’t expected it to feel so warm and comfortable. Zircons weren’t meant for fusion. They were supposed to serve their Diamonds in the courtrooms of Homeworld and nothing else. Only gems like Rubies, Sodalites and Topazes and the occasional Quartz soldiers actually needed fusion. Zircons, for the most part, worked alone. But if she was never meant for it, then why did it make her feel so nice?   
  
Yellow sighed, sitting on her cell’s floor with her arms wrapped tightly around her knees. She wished she could be a part of whatever it was Blue had found with the others but knew all her chances had been used up when she tried to make a run for it back at the pavilion. It seemed so relaxing to be whoever you wanted to be and do whatever you wanted to do despite where you came from and what you were made for. It baffled her how it came so naturally to Blue. She’d instantly befriended the Ronaldo, who Yellow could hear her conversing with ever so quietly through the walls of her imprisonment, and the others soon after.   
  
Blue had been warm and accepting and eager to betray the gems who had done away with her. Perhaps she should have listened to her and stopped chasing false hopes that she knew would never work out and allowed herself to be truly happy before it was too late. Yellow began to realize that though she’d been getting on her case for doing everything wrong, Blue had actually been doing everything right.   
  
Maybe she is the smart one after all...   
  
Still curled up in her cell’s corner, the Zircon listened in on the conversation she could make out bits and pieces of earlier. Other than Blue and the Ronaldo’s conversation, she could pick up the occasional laughter from the captain or one of the other off-colored gems who inhabited the ship. They all sounded so glad to be in one another’s company while Yellow was lonelier than she’d ever felt before. Maybe that’s just how things were meant to be for her.

“Man, I’m hungry,” Ronaldo complained after a moment. “What food was in that care package you got?”

“Well, aside from chips? Some spam. Like five cans worth.” Lars got up to look in the tiny fridge Ronaldo had lugged onto the ship at the beginning of his adventure.

“Seriously???” Ronaldo wrinkled his nose as he saw Lars pull one of the cans out. “Who’s going to eat all that?”

Popping it open and easing the large cube of processed meat onto his hand, Lars grinned. “Me, fuckers,” he shot back and took a monster bite of it. Ronaldo immediately recoiled, shrieking in horror.

“Lars that’s disgusting!!! I can’t believe you would do that!!!”

“It’s delicious,” Lars cackled with his mouth full, much to Ronaldo’s continued disgust and the crew’s collective confusion. He took another bite, as if it were an apple, “Anyone want some?”

“Pass,” they all muttered, still watching in curiosity.

“It’s...just some pink spongey thing he’s eating?” Rhodonite asked.

“No, believe me,” Ronaldo groaned, looking green, “it’s much worse.”

With a third and final bite, Lars finished off the rest of the spam, licking his fingers. “Ahhh, just like home.”

Blue Zircon peered at the empty can. “Do humans...really eat that?”

“We eat a lot of things,” the space captain shrugged, grinning. “So Ron, if spam is too weird for you, what _is_ the weirdest thing you’ve eaten?”

“Well...I ate a bug once…”

“Oh come on, that’s not that bad!” Lars rolled his eyes. “Eating bugs is so old school weird. You of all people should know that.”

“Okay then, what’s the weirdest thing _you’ve_ eaten?” Ronaldo challenged with a teasing look.

Lars furrowed his brow for a moment, trying hard to think of all the different foods he’d tried growing up as a kid with parents who would travel a lot. He then immediately grinned wickedly. “Kangaroo.”

Ronaldo gasped, both in horror and disbelief. “You did not!!”

“Oh yes I did! You don’t believe me? Ask my parents!”

“You marsupial muncher! I can’t believe you!” Ronaldo cried dramatically, then resting a hand under his chin. “How did it taste? Like sad baby kangaroo tears?”

“It tasted like deer. A lot more gamey than some other stuff I’ve eaten,” Lars snorted.

“Do I even want to know how many different animals you’ve eaten in your life?” Ronaldo rolled his eyes.

“Nope.”

“I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about,” Blue Zircon admitted, “but somehow it makes me want to go Earth even more.”

“Me too!” one of the Rutiles piped up, while the other experimentally tried one of the cans of spam. She turned a little green in the face and muttered with an apologetic smile as she nudged it back into the can and placed it in the fridge.  
  
“Not used to tasting things like this...or food in general,” the nauseous gem groaned.

“Maybe you should’ve had Steven get us a pizza,” Ronaldo muttered jokingly to Lars.

“God, don’t say pizza,” Lars whined. “The other day, I would have murdered for an anchovy deep dish.”

The entire crew went wide-eyed in horror at Lars’ admission to a horrific crime, and he put a hand on his face in exasperation. “Figure of speech, guys. Figure of speech.”

“So...why would you want to murder someone for food?” Blue Zircon dared to ask.

Before he could explain what exaggeration or even ‘the munchies’ were to her, the lights flickered on the ship, followed by a loud rumble. Lars instantly paused his tape, trying to listen in case he could determine the noise’s source.

“Wh-what was that?!” Rhodonite yelped.  
  
“I don’t know!” one Rutile exclaimed.   
  
“It almost sounds like it’s coming from outside,” the other noticed.   
  
“Maybe it’s just Fluorite having trouble with the engine?” Ronaldo suggested.   
  
“ _No,  it  wasn’t  me,_ ” she replied just in time, her head emerging from the engine room presumably to check out the commotion.   
  
“Everyone!” Padparadscha’s voice sounded from beside Rhodonite. “Someone is following us! They appear to be traveling in an escape pod. Who could this mysterious visitor be?”   
  
Noticing this meant that whoever had been inside of that escape pod was now on the ship and making their way into it, Lars threw his hands up in pure frustration. “ONE DAY!!! I JUST WANT ONE DAMN DAY ON THIS GODFORSAKEN SHIP WITHOUT SOME CRAZY SH-”   
  
The sound of footsteps, large ones at that, could be heard overhead, meaning that the intruder was currently walking across the ship and more than likely trying to find their way inside.   
  
“Laaaaars,” Ronaldo whimpered, “do you think that’s my dad again, or is it actually Bigfoot this time?”

“Who the fuck knows!” Lars shot back, desperately racking his brain for a last-minute plan. “Okay, everyone run and hide somewhere! I’ll stay here and fight em off!”  
  
“But what if it’s one of Emerald’s Citrines?” one of the Rutile twins warned.   
  
“They probably want you back for that ceremony we broke you out of,” her twin spoke fearfully.   
  
“Or what if it’s the Sodalites!?” Rhodonite shrieked. “They’d have us all shattered for that stunt we pulled back on their planet, and I’d be the first to go!”   
  
“Or me…” Blue added, desperately looking for an escape route.   
  
“Or maybe it’s that tiny blue one we fought weeks ago, but she made a sick mecha suit to make her look taller!” Ronaldo fretted.   
  
“Wow, we sure do piss off a lot of gems,” Lars noted.   
  
Another loud thud was heard, telling the ship’s inhabitants that their intruder was trying to pry the hatch open. “I’ll stay,” Ronaldo offered. “You guys go find somewhere to hide!”   
  
“No way!” Lars stopped him, grabbing his arm. “You’re a human. They’ll pound you into dust!”   
  
“But everyone else on this ship is a wanted criminal! I’m just some guy from Earth, and nobody around here really knows much about what a human is. Plus, I picked up a few skills from all those years of underground wrestling. I have fists of steel!” Ronaldo punched the ship’s wall next to him as hard as he could, instantly recoiling and grabbing his hand yet still trying to pretend it didn’t hurt at all. “Ahhhh...y-ya see?”   
  
The captain didn’t even reply, grabbing his friend by the front of his shirt to hastily drag him toward his room. While he did this, someone else made themselves heard.   
  
“I’LL DO IT!”   
  
Everyone on board the ship turned to look at the speaker, who happened to be Yellow Zircon. She was standing as close to the forcefield keeping her from the rest of the ship as she could without getting zapped.   
  
“Oh suuure you will!” Ronaldo spat back at her. “You’re just trying to get yourself a free ride back to Homeworld! I know how you work, you little rat.”   
  
“Ugh!” Yellow snarled, not wanting to admit how much his words actually stung. “Look, I know you don’t trust me. I’ve given you all plenty of reasons not to. But this time I promise I want to help! I’m sick of rotting away in this cell and not doing anything ever. Since I can’t be back with the Diamonds, I want to make myself useful here no matter what it takes!”   
  
Blue quickly ran over to her cell, motioning for the Off-Colors and Ronaldo to find a hiding place as soon as they possibly could. “Now is not the time for this, Yellow!” she warned. “Don’t forget that you’re just as much of a wanted criminal as everyone else here. If they recognize you and don’t fall for your flattery, you could be shattered! I swear, do you ever think these things th-”   
  
“I know,” Yellow replied, her voice the most solemn and serious it had ever been in Blue’s many years of knowing her. “If I’m shattered, I’m shattered. That’s all there is to it. I just want to do one thing that’s worth something to someone before it happens, and as much as I don’t want to admit it, saving you and the others is the perfect choice.”   
  
Blue was speechless. Yellow was good at trickery but not this good. There was no way she wasn’t being sincere right now.   
  
“You really want to do this…”   
  
The Zircon’s voice trailed off at the sound of the hatch opening, and Lars screaming at her to get out of there. Knowing she had to trust her gut and act quickly, she turned back to Yellow.   
  
“Are you sure?” Her finger hovered over the button that would open her cell.   
  
“Yes,” Yellow answered in the same honest tone as earlier. “Positive.”   
  
Not having time to say what could possibly be her final words to the other, Blue simply nodded in response, pressed the button and watched as the forefield disappeared from around her rival’s cell. She then ran, grabbing Lars by the hand and pulling him out of harm’s way as she did so. 

Yellow charged in the direction of the hatch, giving a loud cry of triumph, and the rest of the crew cringed and sighed in exasperation from their hiding spot.

“She panicked,” Blue groaned, still hearing the other Zircon’s wild yell as she ran out, only for it to suddenly be cut off with a loud crash. Everyone jumped in their spots in reaction to the noise.

“O-Oh god, did she...is she…?” Ronaldo ran a cold sweat, wondering if the intruder on the ship disposed of the other gem.

They were left sitting in terror and horrified silence as the footsteps neared closer, and Lars’ whole body tensed as he saw the large figure enter. However, he paused upon realizing that he recognized their face and with a slight hesitance, stood up. “Wait. _Topaz???_ ”

With no sign of stoicism on her face, the large gem seemed a whole lot more trusting than she had previously been when Aquamarine invaded and immediately looked relieved to see Lars. “It’s you!” She smiled, making no note of the flailing Zircon who was neatly tucked under her arm.

“Lars, what’s going on?” Ronaldo whispered. “Isn’t that the blue fairy gremlin’s bodyguard?”

“It’s cool!” He gave a reassuring gesture. “I mean, you _aren’t_ here to kill us right?”

“No no!” Topaz assured, her voice soft and gentle. “I just...I came to warn you that Aquamarine and Emerald are planning something. I don’t know what, but I know it’s something you shouldn’t have to face.” She looked away nervously before continuing. “I don’t know how soon Aquamarine will come looking for me, but in any case, I’ll have to get my escape pod as far away from your ship as possible in case she tracks it.”

“Well...what does that mean for you?” Lars questioned, growing concerned for Topaz’s safety if she went through with this.

“...I don’t know.”

Lars thought for a moment. “Well, it’s not like she’s tracking _you_.” He smirked, hoping the bulky gem would catch onto his plans for her.

“Y-You mean-?”

“How about we just trash the pod on some space rock and keep you on board?”

“...Really?”

“Uh, duh! I mean, you came all the way here to warn us despite only having spoken to me for a few minutes, and if you don’t, what are you gonna do after that? Swim in space?” He snorted.

“Lars,” Ronaldo got his attention by tugging at his arm, “are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Yeah, it’ll be fine,” Lars reassured him. “Like I said, I know her. She tried to help me and Steven escape when we were being taken to Homeworld, but Aquamarine stopped her. I always had a feeling she would end up joining us, and hey, here she is!”  
  
Topaz grinned shyly and waved at Ronaldo with her free hand. Believing what Lars had told him, the human nodded to his captain. “Alright then. Welcome aboard!”   
  
The yellow fusion opened her mouth to rejoice but was stopped by a pained yelp that left her throat as the Zircon she was restraining sunk her teeth into her hand, causing her to drop her. Once free from Topaz, Yellow jumped straight up on her feet as if nothing had even happened.   
  
“Wait just a second,” she panted, out of breath from her struggling, “you know this gem, and she isn’t a threat at all?”   
  
“Yep,” Lars informed smugly.   
  
“Not even a little bit of a threat!?”   
  
“Nope.”   
  
“So I did all of that for _nothing_ !?!”   
  
“I wouldn’t say it was for nothing,” Lars noted, leaving the other temporarily bewildered. “Everyone!” he announced, clapping his hands together to make sure all the ship’s inhabitants were listening to what he had to say. “I am pleased to announce that we have two new members of the crew!”   
  
“Wh-two?” Yellow questioned, her expression almost instantly going back to normal after she spoke. “Oh right, because she’s a fusion.”   
  
“Nope!” the captain laughed. “Well I mean yes, she is a fusion, but that’s not what I meant.”   
  
Lars made his way over to stand beside the confused yellow gem, putting a hand on her shoulder and becoming surprised when she didn’t immediately push it off in protest. “Yellow Zircon,” he began, “although you were originally kept on this ship as a prisoner, you’ve shown a great amount of courage throughout your time with us. You played a crucial role in my rescue from Emerald, and Topaz not being a threat doesn’t erase the sacrifice you made for us today.”   
  
Catching onto what Lars was telling her, the Zircon glanced up at him with a look of astonishment. “Wait...so does this mean I’m…?”   
  
“Welcome to the Off-Colors,” he congratulated her with a smirk and finger guns. “Bingo bongo.”   
  
The whole ship exploded into cheers and clapping, as well as several comments such as Fluorite stating “ _I  knew  she’d  turn  around_ ” and Padparadscha gasping “Topaz! What a surprise!” Lars hit the play button on his tape recorder, resuming his music to add to the celebration.   
  
Yellow was basking in the glory of her acceptance and praise when she was startled by Blue’s voice. “So you decided to give up on chasing the Diamonds down, eh Yellow?”   
  
She opened her mouth to say something snarky in response to her long-time rival but was stopped when Blue extended a hand to her. “I never thought I’d be saying this in a billion lightyears but…I’m really proud of you.”   
  
The newly-reformed Zircon swatted Blue’s hand away and just when the other was preparing to be snapped at, she was pleasantly surprised by the feeling of Yellow wrapping her arms around her and pulling her into a tight hug. She stiffened up in shock at first, her face flushing in response to the unexpected act, but as it continued, she accepted her embrace and returned it as tightly as she could.   
  
After a few seconds, Yellow abruptly broke the kind gesture with golden blush coating her cheeks. “That’s good, right? I’m new to this whole affection thing, but I saw you and the others doing it the other day so I thought it was your-”   
  
“Yes,” Blue answered. “You’re doing fine, pal.”   


  
_Help me make the most_

_Of freedom and of pleasure_

_Nothing ever lasts forever_

_Everybody wants to rule the world_   



	11. Never Going Back Again

  
  
_She broke down and let me in_

_Made me see where I've been..._

 

“Move over.” Lars nudged Ron with a sock-clad foot as he lay on his bed.

“Wh-?” The human jolted up, surprised to see the other in his quarters, and flushed slightly. “Wh-why do you want me to-”

“My room is freakishly cold. I think it’s from that ice planet we passed by. And your room is like a sauna,” he muttered,, flopping next to him.

“But I thought you didn’t need to sleep-”

“I don’t. At least...not as much as other people do. Once every couple weeks. But whatever, it feels good.” He chewed on a hangnail, resting his arms behind his head.

“Can’t argue with that.” Ronaldo smiled a little. “What’s everyone else doing?”

“Talkin’,” Lars snickered. “They’ll probably still be at it when we wake up.”

Feeling slightly squished, Ronaldo let one of his arms overlap Lars’ body, even when his friend protested with a grunt. “I still need to sleep in here. Either you cuddle or you sleep in your freezer room.”

“Ugh, fine.” Lars rolled onto his side so they were almost spooning and realized Ronaldo had been playing one of his tapes very softly. “You listen to music when you sleep?”

“Since I’ve come on the ship, yeah.” Ronaldo smiled. “It’s relaxing.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Lars mumbled, noticing that Ronaldo’s hand was rather close to his face. He could make out all the little details of it: the cracks in his palms, his cleanly cut fingernails and even a few freckles. “Thanks for being so good with my crew and stuff.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re so nice to all of them, like, you don’t get hostile and mean like I might have been if we switched places.”

“Why do you think you’d be like that?”

“I dunno. I guess before this whole ‘getting-kidnapped-and-killed-in-space’ thing happened, I was really scared of trusting anyone. And I can’t believe it took all that hellparty fodder for me to get to where I am now,” Lars muttered.

Ronaldo grinned softly and tucked his glasses on his shirt collar. “You’re way too hard on yourself, Lars. I think you’d have been fine if you came up here, and I was the captain.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I mean, sure you were kind of a jerk back on Earth, and I used to have some bad opinions on you before we started talking again, but Sadie and Steven both knew you pretty well and always told me you could be really sweet.”

“A-aww shucks, really?” Lars laughed softly. “Well, I don’t know about that but-”

“I mean, look at Yellow Zircon! That bitch would have had us all turned in and executed two weeks ago, and now she’s buddy-buddy with at least half the group, including the newbie,” Ronaldo snorted. “If that can happen then I’m pretty sure you’d have been fine.”

“Fair point.” Lars gently took hold of Ronaldo’s hand in both of his, idly examining it and running a thumb over his knuckles. “Think I made a good choice welcoming Topaz?”

“I think so. She seems really nice.”

“She is. I just hope if we do get caught by one of those Homeworld gems, she doesn’t get punished for it. She’s too sweet for that. Everyone here is,” he sighed.

 _Even you_ , he neglected to say to Ronaldo, deciding to just keep playing with his hand.

Ronaldo nudged Lars to get him to roll over so they were facing one another and gave a tired smile. “Let’s get some sleep, okay?”

“Mhm.” Lars smiled back at his friend.

Neither of them closed their eyes though, opting to keep looking at each other and default cuddling to stay warm as the soft music played.

 _God, he’s so cute,_ Lars thought to himself, wishing he knew the right words to say at that moment.

For once, Ronaldo was struck with silence too. And he was fine with it.

They leaned in closer, still trying to keep warm, and soon, their faces were close to touching. Too close to leave it at a tease.

Before they could let their lips softly meet, the gem-tech door opened, spooking them both.

“Wh-?!”

“O-Oh, sorry!” Topaz covered her mouth, cheeks flushed gold with embarrassment. “I didn’t know you two were in here!”  
  
Lars quickly sat up on Ronaldo’s bed, his face so dark pink it was almost crimson. “Is something going on?” he asked, trying not to look too suspicious even though she possibly didn’t even understand what he and the other were about to do.  
  
“Nothing,” she answered shyly. “Blue was just giving me and Yellow a tour of the ship since we’ve never seen all of it.”  
  
“Something going on?” A voice piped up behind Topaz, and Lars could make out Blue craning her neck to see over the fusion and eventually giving up. “Anyway, this is Ronaldo’s room. He said he does something called “sleeping” in here, but I still don’t really underst-oh, hello captain. And Ronaldo!” She greeted the two warmly, finally making her way to stand beside Topaz. “What are you two doing in here together?”  
  
“Uhhhhhh…” Lars sweated nervously, “sleeping?”  
  
“But Blue told me you hardly did that anymore.” Yellow prodded her way through to stand on the opposite side of Topaz so she could be heard.  
  
“Doesn’t mean I still can’t do it.”  
  
“I thought you were doing it yesterday?”  
  
“N-no I wasn’t!”  
  
“You told us to be quiet because you were going to sleep. That’s what brought up on the conversation I had with her about it.”

“I uhhh...didn’t get enough?”  
  
“And why are you sleeping in here with him and not in that room down there?” Topaz spoke up, pointing to Lars’ headquarters that were just a few feet down and across from Ronaldo’s. “Blue said the room she just showed us was yours.”  
  
“Something doesn’t add up here,” Yellow observed, putting a finger to her chin in thought. “Hmmmm…”  
  
Lars groaned. “Just don’t think too hard about it! And wait...you went in my room!?”  
  
“Yeah!” Topaz’s face lit up as she talked. “It’s really interesting!”  
  
The captain’s shocked and bothered glare fixated on Blue. “Why did you go in there? Don’t you know that it’s off limits!?”  
  
“No,” Blue commented. “I actually had no idea. Ronaldo showed it to me on my tour.”  
  
Now it was Ronaldo’s turn to get stared down by Lars’ angry eyes, who looked up at the ceiling and began to whistle a tune in response. Before the human could be scolded, Yellow interrupted.  
  
“She let us take souvenirs too,” she continued to explain. “I took this interesting Earth document that I plan on checking out in depth later.” Yellow held up a magazine titled “Noice” with a woman wearing next to nothing on the cover. “What’s it about?”  
  
“GAH!” Lars bolted out of the bed and snatched the shameful magazine from the Zircon’s hand, face even redder than it had been before. “That’s even more off-limits than my room!”  
  
Ronaldo instantly dissolved into laughter in the background, earning yet another icy stare from his friend that he ignored.  
  
“Is what I took okay, Lars?” Topaz asked, tugging at her captain’s shirt. He looked over to see her holding a tattered shark plush with one of its button eyes missing.  
  
“Sharky!” Lars shrieked in fear, quickly grabbing his favorite childhood toy from her hands and gripping it close to him.

Ronaldo was almost pissing himself with laughter, doubled over on the edge of the bed. “You still have that thing!?” he choked out. Lars shot him another dirty look and gave him the finger.  
**  
** Topaz looked pretty upset about losing her souvenir so Lars patted her on the back in comfort. “I’m sorry, Topaz, but Sharky is uh...special to me. You can have the bear Steven gave me instead if you’d want it.” This seemed to make her lighten, up and she nodded her head in agreement with his bargain.

“Shall we continue the tour?” Blue invited, leading the two away which left Lars and Ronaldo sitting on the bed alone.

Ronaldo grinned smugly. “So...how much use have you gotten out of that magazine?”

“I will stuff it down your throat,” Lars threatened.

“Aw, lighten up,” he snickered, wrapping an arm around Lars and pulling him back down so they were both laid on the bed. “We should try to get some sleep.”

“Sure.” Lars sighed, shutting his eyes as he was spooned by Ronaldo, glad it was quiet once again.

“...Are you still holding Sharky?”

“Shut up, I hate you, oh my god.”

* * *

  
“So...what’s it like?” Blue Zircon spoke up.

“Hm?” Topaz broke out of her daydreamy trance as they sat in the galley with everyone else.

“What’s...being fused all the time like? Is it nice?”

“Oh! I-It’s wonderful!” Topaz clasped her hands together, slightly blushing as she smiled. “It’s like-”

“Hold up, if we’re having another intent monologuing discussion I want in on it!” Ronaldo held his hand up as he exited his room, a still bedraggled Lars in tow.

“Oh, you’re back!” Blue smiled. “Did you ah…’sleep’ well?”

“Yes, thanks for asking.” Ronaldo teasingly patted Lars on the head. “I don’t know about him though.”

“You snore like a chainsaw,” the captain grumbled, stretching his back and tiredly ruffling his own hair to fix it up. “Alright. Let’s sit in on this conversation. What are you talking about?”

“Ah...um,” Topaz began, smiling shyly, “fusion.”

“Like the thing gems do where they absorb each other’s physical forms and become an entirely new being?” Ronaldo questioned excitedly.  
  
“No, the food,” Lars jested, giving his friend an annoyed yet playful stare.  
  
“I was about to tell them about my experience,” Topaz continued. “Basically, Topaz and Topaz were only supposed to fuse for missions with the Aquamarine I frequently traveled with.” She frowned at the mention of the cruel gem she once worked for. “None of them were very fun at all. My job was to trap gems inside of my form so they could be transported to Homeworld or the prison or wherever the Diamonds needed them to be. One time I was even assigned to trap humans.”  
  
“I know about that on a personal level,” Lars grumbled aside to Ronaldo.  
  
“I hated it,” the fusion resumed. “Whoever I captured would always try to reason with me in fear, if they were even able to talk, and every time I longed to free them, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t allowed to do much of anything else. If I even so much as spoke to them, Aquamarine would severely threaten Topaz and Topaz. Something that had grown so dear to both of them over time was only used by Homeworld to hurt others.”  
  
Ronaldo, who only knew bits and pieces of the tale that brought Lars to space, was almost tearing up in reaction to her story. “Topaz...that’s horrible!”  
  
“I know,” she sighed, “and I always longed to run away from it, but Topaz and Topaz were so afraid of being separated forever if anyone caught me. It was scary and difficult to actually do it, but I couldn’t just sit there and watch you and your friends get hurt.” Topaz looked to Lars, compassion in her eyes.  
  
“Hey, I’m new to this whole betraying Homeworld for good thing too,” Yellow responded, patting the fusion’s shoulder. “It’s hard and terrifying and takes some getting used to, but I definitely don’t regret my decision.”  
  
“Same here,” Blue added. “You’ll be okay with us, Topaz.”  
  
“We’ll make sure of it!” Lars assured her.  
  
“I’ll karate-chop a gem in the face if they try to mess with you!” Ronaldo chimed in, making a motion with his hands as if he were doing so.  
  
“Thank you.” Topaz grinned widely. “It means a lot.” She turned to look to the two Zircons. “Actually...I think just about every gem here’s told me their story except for you two.”  
  
“Our story?” Blue questioned.  
  
“You know, how you wound up here.”  
  
“Oh!” the Zircon laughed. “Well, to keep it brief, Yellow and I were sentenced to shattering for a trial that went horribly wrong. However, Ronaldo and Lars were able to save us from the prison they were keeping us in before anything could happen. I was immediately on board with betraying the Diamonds after they’d sentenced me to my demise for a mere slip-up, but it took this one a little while to warm up to how things worked around here.”  
  
“This probably won’t sound favorable but attacking you was part of my redemption,” Yellow joked, gently prodding Topaz’s side with her elbow. “Until then they either kept me in a prison cell or bound by some long Earth restraint the Ronaldo kept.”  
  
“Uh actually, it’s just Ronaldo,” the human finally told her, guessing that she’d probably listen to him now. “No the”  
  
“Oh! My apologies, Ronaldo,” Yellow corrected herself. “But anyway, it really did take me a while to warm up to everyone. I don’t think I actually did until Blue and I had to fuuuuu-uh…”  
  
“You did _WHAT_ with Blue!?!” Ronaldo yelled in astonishment, his eyes almost popping out of his head.  
  
Lars, the only one who understood what the human had assumed, rolled his eyes. “Fuse, you moron! To trick those Citrines?”  
  
“Ohhhhhhhh, right. Never mind. Continue.” Ronaldo fidgeted awkwardly.  
  
“Wait,” Topaz gasped, “you two fused!?”  
  
“Well...yes, but only once and not for very long,” Yellow explained nervously.  
  
“I don’t know if we’ll ever do it again,” Blue spoke up. “Maybe for another trick or two, but not like you, Topaz. I just don’t think we’re cut out to be fused for longer than a few seconds.”  
  
“Ha, yeah…” Yellow answered distantly.  
  
“That’s okay!” Topaz beamed. “Fusing permanently isn’t for everyone. In fact, I don’t think it’s a thing that happens at all on Homeworld. Even fusions of the same gem are looked down on if they fuse frequently for a reason other than combat.” Her happy demeanor faded once more, and she sighed.  
  
“I think it’s amazing that Topaz and Topaz manage to stay fused all the time,” Lars complimented her. “And none of us would ever look down on you for that! I mean, just look at Rhodonite! I’ve never seen her unfuse. And Fluorite? Now _that’s_ some dedication.”  
  
Topaz’s warm smile returned, and she stretched her arms wide, pulling everyone into a giant bear hug. “You guys are the best! Thank you so much for letting me join you. I love you all, and I love it here!”  
  
“N-no problem,” Lars choked out, being crushed by her tight embrace but appreciating the sentiment. “W-We love you too...even if you are kind of breaking our bones here.”  
  
“What are bones?” Blue spoke in a muffled voice, face pressed against the fusion’s chest.  
  
Once Topaz had let everyone free from her massive hug, she turned to Lars. “Oh! I had a question for you, actually.”  
  
“Oh, yeah?”  
  
“Can humans fuse?”

Lars turned red in the face and gulped. “Uh, n-no, but we have some similar concepts, just...not as literal? It’s more like...” He paused to think it over. “I guess you just spend as much time as you can with the people you really care about to the point where you feel like you’re together permanently?” He then gave a soft smile, remembering the whole fiasco from a couple weeks back. “If anything, marriage on Earth can sometimes be like fusion for humans.”

“ _That’s  lovely_ ,” Fluorite said from her spot at the stairs, her sudden input making Ronaldo jump slightly. She was looking quite pleased with herself.

“But it’s not always like that,” Ronaldo added. “Fusion is a complicated and diverse thing...and so are human relationships.” He scooted a little closer to Lars, which was noticed and replied to with a soft smile.

“If humans could fuse, would they?” Blue Zircon mused curiously.

Ronaldo fixed his glasses in thought. “Well, it’s more of an individual choice thing if I would have to guess. Like um, well, I would definitely want to fuse with someone I really cared about, but it might not always be the case for other people…? I mean, if you were to ask Lars, he might have a different-”

“I would,” Lars cut him off, tugging on his arm gently and grinning slyly.

Ronaldo almost turned pinker in the face than the space captain currently hugging his arm.

 

_Been down one time_

_Been down two times_

_I'm never going back again_


	12. Stardust

 

 _Sometimes I wonder why I spend_  
_The lonely night dreaming of a song_  
_The melody haunts my reverie_  
_And I am once again with you..._

The slow song’s tune echoed throughout the ship, everyone sitting among one another in its main room. Luckily for them, it had been a while since any fiasco had happened, such as the ones they’d faced before Topaz’s arrival. The closest thing to a disaster they'd seen in a while was Ronaldo getting his hand stuck in a pickle jar the other day, but Topaz had been able to smash it open without doing any harm to Ronaldo himself.

Although Lars knew that Emerald and Aquamarine would be approaching their ship soon, he felt surprisingly at ease. He’d been able to sleep for several hours last night, something he hadn’t done ever since he came to space. Of course it had been in Ronaldo’s arms.

Oh yeah. That was another thing that had happened since then.

Lars didn’t know how, but him and Ronaldo had grown from having tension so thickly between them that it couldn’t be cut with a flaming knife to having the strongest mutual bond they’ve ever had. He dared to say they weren’t even this close as kids. The two of them were almost inseparable, always around one another and talking about whatever came to their minds and helping each other when they needed it. And it felt so nice. He’d never felt this way with anyone before. Although he considered all of the ship’s inhabitants to be his friends, he was finally able to comfortably think of Ronaldo as his best friend again...and possibly even more than that.

He had to admit that he wasn’t the best with romantic feelings. The only other encounter he’d had in his life like this was that thing back on Earth with Sadie that ended pretty badly and a massive crush on Buck that never went past longing looks. But those things somehow weren't even comparable. Lars always had a feeling they weren’t going to work out, no matter how much Sadie cared about him or how he wanted to please her despite not being able to, as well as how badly he wanted to ask Buck out. This was refreshing and warm and felt real. Like it would last forever.

Of course none of them had made anything official yet. Lars was much too nervous and awkward to do that. Sadly, Ronaldo wasn’t much better. However, it wasn’t that bad. They’d get there when they were ready, and there was no doubt the feelings were mutual.

The captain sighed happily. Who would have ever thought that after all the shit they went through, he’d end up finding true love with Ronaldo Fryman, of all people? Life was crazy sometimes, but that was a good thing. If it was completely normal all the time, Lars wouldn’t have been brought back to life. And if that hadn’t happened, he would have never been able to fall in love with Ronaldo. He promised himself to personally thank Steven again the next time he came to visit.

“I like this song,” Ronaldo spoke, startling Lars from his thoughts about him.

“You do?” he asked, blushing at the thought of the guy he’d become so infatuated with liking this kind of music. How was he so damn cute?

“Yeah! It’s pretty.”

“I know.” Lars leaned further back in his chair, memories of the song flooding through his head. “My parents used to dance to it when it would come on.”

He smiled, remembering when he watched them glide slowly together across their living room floor from his spot on the couch with this song softly playing in the distance. He used to make gross-out faces in reaction to it like the little kid he was, but secretly, it had always been so relaxing to watch and made Lars wonder if he would ever be able to dance with someone like that one day.

“That’s so sweet!” Ronaldo beamed softly, looking as if he had something on his mind. Without much hesitation, he suddenly stood to his feet and dusted his clothes off, holding a hand out to Lars. “How about we continue the family tradition?”

The space pirate stared down at the human’s hand and slowly moved his gaze up to rest on his face, which caused him to fluster greatly. “Heh...c’mon, man. I’ve got like three left feet.”

Ronaldo giggled at his figure of speech. “Do you really think I’m a fucking ballerina? It’ll be fine.”

His heart was fluttering so much that it felt like it would burst out of his chest at any second. Where had this boy been when he was having trouble going to that damn party? No one had ever made him feel this motivated and secure before.

“Okay,” Lars agreed, taking Ronaldo’s hand and allowing him to gently pull him from his chair. “But don’t tell anyone back home or I’ll strangle you.”

“My lips are sealed,” he promised, swiftly pulling Lars with him toward the middle of the room.

“Care if we join?” Blue asked, leaping from her spot next to Yellow with the other gem’s hand in her’s.

Yellow opened her mouth to protest but rethought her outburst, smiling as she did so. “Oh, I don’t see why not.”

“That sounds great!” Ronaldo exclaimed. “Who’s up for a dance party!?”

Lars burst into laughter. “You sound like you’re hosting a rave! This is Nat King Cole, for fuck’s sake!”

The human couldn’t help but giggle along with his dance partner. “Okay then. Who’s up for a very slow dance party?”

“Count me in!” Rhodonite called, offering Topaz her hand. “May I offer this dance, from one fusion to another?” Topaz grinned shyly and took it.

“We’ll join!” one of the Rutiles said.

“But it might take a while,” the other joked, looking at who they’d be dancing with.

“I love this song too, Ronaldo!” Padparadscha cheered.

“You all have fun,” Fluorite spoke from the stairs leading to the engine room. “I’ll just watch. I literally have three left feet.” Lars chuckled at her callback to his earlier statement.

The two of them held onto each other as they danced slowly to the music. Lars thought, to be honest, it probably didn’t look as sweet or have the ‘happily aged married couple’ charm as when his parents did it, but instead, the more ‘awkward geeks at prom night’ aesthetic. But it sure was fun. And it felt nice to be dancing so close. He’d never felt this openly close to anybody in a long time. Not even Sadie.

“Imagine if we were like sixty or seventy and dancing like this,” Ronaldo snickered softly. “Arthritis and wrinkles included.”

“Oh my god,” Lars laughed, leaning his head forward and pressing it against Ronaldo’s shoulder. “That’s a funny image.”

And weirdly, it could be an impossible one. Ever since he was brought back to life, Lars had a hard time imagining himself as an old man. But Ronaldo, he strangely could see it. And he didn’t know how to feel about that.

“Pssst.” Ronaldo nudged Lars’ arm. “Look at the Zircons.” He snickered, seeing that the two gems had no dancing skill whatsoever. They were just bobbing with each other like foam pool noodles. At least they were having fun, grinning like idiots, and Lars swore he could hear Yellow giggling.

“They’re out-cuteing us,” Lars teased. “Quick, we have to fix this.”

The two, still holding onto each other, speed waltzed over to the gems, and Ronaldo cleared his throat. “Excuse me, madams, but we’re proposing an exchange.”

“What?” Blue raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Which of us do you each want to dance with?”

“I call Ronaldo!” Blue immediately raised her hand and grabbed hold of him. “Bye, Yellow,” she snorted as Ronaldo pulled her out to the dance floor.

Yellow Zircon watched the two, then glanced to Lars. “What was that for?”

“You and her were too cute for us to stand, so we made an evil plan to split you apart,” Lars snorted, taking her by the hands playfully and imitating the weird attempt at dancing she was making. “Also your dancing is fucking hilarious.”

“Wh-I...b-but...” She began to sputter. “Well, it’s not like I’ve ever danced before! And I don’t know if you have either.” She flashed a smug grin at him.

The slow, elegant song had ended, and everyone suddenly jolted in surprise at the next track being a loud acid rock song with a rhythmic beat. Lars laughed. “Yeah, sorry guys, this is my mom’s mix tape. She uh...had an interesting taste growing up.”

“So what kind of dancing do you do for this type of music?” Yellow gave him a skeptical look.

“Lemme show y’all!” Lars smirked deviously and immediately leaped onto the dance floor, dancing wildly like an idiot, resorting to The Worm and even an attempt at breakdancing. Ronaldo was whooping and cheering as Lars broke a sweat on the dance floor, then cackled as the space captain tired out.

“Ok,” Lars panted, “I’ll be back in a sec. I’m changing into street clothes.”

“Awww, but I love a man in uniform,” Ronaldo teased, waving off Lars as he hurried to his room to change into comfier dancing clothes. In the meantime, the human decided to watch the other gems dancing, chuckling to himself at Blue trying to solo dance by herself but being even more awkward than when she was dancing with Yellow.

“Yiiiiiiii!!!!!” Rhodonite yelled as Topaz swung her off the floor, not expecting the sudden surge of energy from the big gem.

“This music is so fun!” the fusion giggled, grinning ear to ear.

Padparadscha rest her hands on her cheeks, blushing. “This song is so gentle and sweet.”

The Rutiles bounced in place. “What song is next?!”

“I don’t even know,” Ronaldo laughed. “That’s the fun part about mix tapes!”

“Oh captain, you have your old clothes back on.” Fluorite smiled, noticing Lars’ return to the dance floor.

Lars had changed into a clean pair of jeans, a t-shirt his parents had sent him with a band logo of some sort on it and his old sneakers. “Well, not entirely old.”

“Nice shirt,” Ronaldo snickered. “Did your mom pick it out?”

“Uh, it has The Smiths on it so obviously,” Lars cackled.

“It’s odd not seeing you in your space uniform,” Blue Zircon admitted.

“It feels weird not wearing it,” he told her, stretching his back as he hopped out onto the dance floor, grinning as the next song played. “AW SHIT, MY JAM!!!” He cackled madly, proceeding to yell out the lyrics to the song incoherently, which made everyone pause and snicker.

“What is he even doing?” Yellow scoffed with a good natured snicker.

“He’s having fun.” Ronaldo ran out to stand next to Lars and jam along with him, both singing and yelling and romping around like idiots, forgetting entirely about the situation they were in, the enemies out looking for them or even their personal worries. They were just enjoying one another’s company and having fun.

“Oh man!” Lars panted, laughing. “We oughta listen to all my tapes while we’re at it!”

“YESSSSSSSS!!!” Ronaldo whooped, jumping in place which made the floor vibrate again.

“Title of best dancer goes to whoever is still standing at the end of the last tape!” Lars challenged.

“Well, of course I can stand!” Yellow rolled her eyes.

“But can you dance?” Lars challenged, leaping into Ronaldo’s arms with a cheer as the other swung him around gleefully.

Yellow narrowed her eyes. Oh. It was on.

* * *

 

After hours and hours of endless dancing and cheering, many had taken their seat near the wall of the ship’s main room to catch their breath. However, as the finale neared, they all gathered around the last two standing: Yellow Zircon and Lars Barriga.

“Give up yet?” Lars panted, dancing like he's never danced before and definitely proving to himself that he is still capable of getting exhausted.

“I don't u-understand!” Yellow spoke between gasps of air. “How are you still...doing this you...fleshy…..pink…...ugggh…”

Before she could finish her sentence and seconds before the last few notes of the song blared throughout the ship, the yellow gem collapsed in her place. Her defeat left Lars to do one last victory move which ended in him exhaustingly giving her one of his signature “Bingo bongos” before passing out as well. Blue and Ronaldo both rushed to their respective dance partners, getting them to stand on their feet again.

“I won!” Lars triumphantly gasped. “Thank you superhuman stamina! And take that, ya fuckin’ banana!”

“Th-this isn't the last….one of these, you….s-scoundrel!” Yellow choked, almost fully supported by Blue. “I’ll...beat you...next time! Also what’s a….ba-nab-a-na?”

“Jesus Christ, you sound like Emerald,” he teased before receiving a congratulations hug from behind courtesy of Ronaldo

“And you told me you couldn't dance,” he remarked, burying his face in Lars’ shoulder.

“Maybe I am too hard on myself.”

However, Fluorite’s voice suddenly warned them from the stairs. “Wait a moment. You forgot someone.”

Confused, everyone looked to the far right to see Padparadscha, still dancing as vibrantly as she had been hours ago. “I love this song!” she exclaimed with glee. “Look at the captain and Yellow Zircon go!”

Lars couldn't even be upset at the realization that he hadn't won after all. “Nice work, Padparadscha!” he called out, knowing she wouldn't immediately reply but wanting to congratulate her nonetheless.

“I have one of those paper crowns my dad puts in kids’ meals at the fry shop in my backpack,” Ronaldo informed Lars. “Do you think that'd be a good prize for her?”

“It’d be perfect,” he replied with a smile, “but we should probably give it to her tomorrow. I think this whole dance off thing made me need to sleep for a third time this week.”

“You might want to explain the concept of sleep to this one,” Blue jested, pointing to the exhausted Yellow leaning against her.

“You do that,” Lars answered. “I think Ronaldo and I are gonna go back to our-I mean, his room for a while.”

“But I never said I wanted-”

The captain silenced the human with a warm smirk and a wink in his direction.

“Wow I’m suddenly tired as fuck,” he lied, face heating up quickly. “Let's hurry up and go before I pass out on the floor, and you have to carry me.”

“I’d probably just leave you there,” Lars mused, gently grabbing Ronaldo’s hand and running his thumb across it. “We’ll see you guys in a few hours. Thanks for dancing with us!”

The rest of the crew said goodnight to the two humans, and as they left for Ronaldo’s room, Padparadscha could be heard gasping, “Oh my stars, did I win!?”

Once they'd retired to the room, Lars instantly began to slip off his shoes. “Well, that was more fun than any dance or rave I have ever been to in my entire life.”

“Me too,” Ronaldo replied, picking up the tape recorder by his bed and pressing play before settling down. “Not that I’ve been to many of those, but you know how it is.

Lars, who was still standing in the corner, turned around when he heard a familiar tune playing from the tape. “Hey, is that Stardust?”

“Yeah,” Ronaldo answered, looking out the window in his room.

“You sure do like that one, huh?”

“Mhmmm. It reminds me of you.”

Lars got a little weak in the knees from how fluttery that made him feel. This boy was going to kill him all over again. “Awww. Well it reminds me of you too, Ronnie.”

Upon hearing the nickname Lars called him so often years ago, the human’s eyes opened as wide as flying saucers. “W-Wait….what did you just call me?”

“I called you Ronnie. You know, like I used to.” The captain bit his lip, hoping it wasn't too soon. “I don't have to though, I just thought-”

“No!” Ronaldo stopped him. “Please do. I missed being Ronnie.”

“I missed having Ronnie around.”

Feeling extremely sentimental and wanting nothing more than to hold Lars already, Ronaldo averted his attention to the corner of the room the captain was standing in to see why he was taking so long. When he saw the reason, his heart almost stopped beating from shock.

The captain hadn't just taken off his shoes but every article of clothing he had on except for his boxers, which were black and had little green glow-in-the-dark skulls all over them.

Much too flustered to say a lot in response, Ronaldo squeaked out as much as he could. “L-Lars! Y-You’re….uhhh…..”

“Huh?” Lars turned around to face him, that devious smirk from earlier plastered across his face once more. “I sweated gallons during that dance off, Ronnie. Those clothes were stuck to my body. I had to do something.”

Ronaldo gulped, and suddenly the room felt way too warm. “Well...uh...can’t argue against that!” He awkwardly scooted to make room on the bed so Lars could relax next to him. Lars just crawled on top of him, lounging with an elbow resting on Ronaldo’s chest as he stared dreamily at him.

“Y’know, I locked the door so nobody will uh...wake us up.” He averted his gaze.

All the blood in Ronaldo’s body that was making his face go warm rushed downwards, and he gulped, giggling a bit. “O-Oh yeah? Well...we can’t have that, right?”

“Oh yeah. Definitely not,” Lars snickered, and as they both laughed, it felt a lot less awkward to just close the space in-between their lips.

They didn’t pull back right away. Instead, Ronaldo slowly let his arms reach up and around the other, pressing themselves closer together. They began deepening the kisses and crowding the touches even further.

Only after several minutes of kissing and touching with tangled limbs and groping with greedy hands and giggling with soft whimpering noises did Ronaldo finally pull back, but only to slip his shirt off, swallowing with a slightly stuffy nose. “Uh…it’s getting pretty hot in here. Maybe I should pull some stuff off too….you want to give me a hand?”

Lars flashed him a lustful grin, and playing with a button on Ronaldo’s shorts, pulled him into another heated kiss but not before turning the light out.

 _Though I dream in vain_  
_In my heart it will remain_  
_My stardust melody_  
_The memory of love's refrain_


	13. Somebody to Love

_When the truth is found_

_To be lies_

_And all the joy_

_Within you dies…_

 

Everything felt fuzzy when Lars finally woke up to the sound of the tape they’d left on last night playing beside him, stirring slowly in the wrapped warmth of the dark room. Squirming just a little, he got comfortable again, but then realized he was indeed naked and currently spooned against an equally naked and out-cold Ronaldo Fryman.

Remembering the night before, Lars smiled tiredly and kissed his lover’s sleeping face. He then settled back down to get himself another hour or two of well-deserved rest. Besides, he was sore, and their activities had really worn him out.

But just as he closed his eyes, he felt something emerging from the hair in his head, and he yelped. “Steven! No, no, no!”

Steven took a large gulp of air and panted. “Bad time?”

“Very bad time! Come back in an hour!” Lars hissed, shoving the kid back down into his head and grumbling against Ronaldo’s bare chest. Steven wasn't even supposed to be visiting right now! What was his deal?

Shaking it off as the kid just being too friendly or having a surprise package, Lars settled back down against Ronaldo’s body. The sleeping human smiled unconsciously and pulled Lars into a tighter cuddle.The two lay tangled up in one another for several minutes, Lars calming down and nearly dozing off again. He never wanted to leave the other’s arms but knew he had to or else he’d end up in an extremely awkward situation.

When the time came, the captain cautiously maneuvered his way out of his lover’s arms, feeling lucky that Ronaldo was such a heavy sleeper. Once he was free, he got an even better chance to look at the dozing human and notice just how wide the smile he kept in his sleep was. Face heating up with blush, Lars leaned over and placed a kiss on his forehead.

“Sweet dreams, Ronnie,” he whispered softly, although he knew the human was far too sound asleep to hear him.

Once he had slowly snuck back to his own room and put his captain clothes back on, Lars waited there for Steven’s arrival. In a few minutes, the kid popped out of his head, gasping for air and falling out. Lars angled himself so he fell onto his bed instead of the floor.

“Hey man! What's up?” Lars immediately noticed that he wasn't carrying anything which meant he hadn't come to make a surprise delivery. That was strange. Was he forgetting something?

The half-gem sat on Lars’ bed. “Hey Lars,” he said with a small smile. Something about the way he spoke to him seemed off. Steven normally came running to him and screaming his name every time he visited.

“Is something wrong?” Lars asked, feeling his insides twist in worry.

“Well...I don’t know.” Steven glanced up at him with a nervous expression. “I uh...found the answer to that question you asked me the other day.”

 _Shit_. He’d forgotten all about that.

“...Do I really want to know?” Lars cringed slightly.

“Well...I guess you would,” Steven sighed. “I don’t know how you’ll feel about it either way. But uh...I did some research about where Lion came from, and well...he was an adult lion back when uh...Buddy Budwick was still around.”

Lars felt a tight gripping sensation in his chest, and a knot was starting to form in his stomach. “...Oh. Damn. That was like...300 years ago.”

“M-more like 400.” Steven gave a really nervous smile. “So...you’re probably gonna be around for a while…”

“Oh,” was all Lars could say under his breath, staring at the floor, face still unreadable.

“Are...you gonna be okay?”

“Y-Yeah, uh...I really just gotta let it sink in, man. Thanks for telling me, y’know.” He flashed Steven a nervous, broken smile.

“I-I’m really sorry, I-”

“No no!” Lars immediately squeaked, still looking incredibly uncomfortable and finding it a little difficult to breathe. “I guess it’s good I found out now before anything else happens.”

“Right.” Steven nodded worriedly. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” Lars lied, running a hand through his hair. “Y-you can go back to Earth now. I think I wanna be alone for a bit, okay?”

“W-well...okay. I understand. Do you want me to come by later and-”

“No thanks.” Lars quickly shook his head, looking like he was ready to vomit.

Sighing, Steven climbed onto his shoulders and stepped back through his hair. “Okay. Well...see ya, Lars.”

“See ya,” Lars barely whispered, and once Steven had left, he collapsed sideways onto his bed. Painful attempts to breathe came from his lungs as he dry heaved, feeling extremely nauseous. He wanted to cry and scream, but for some reason he just felt...trapped.

What was Steven going to tell his family and friends on Earth? That he was just going to live forever and watch them all die off years from now? What about Ronaldo? They were basically together as of last night, and now Lars would have to watch him get old and gray and eventually die, and he wouldn’t age a single day beyond now?

That’s what killed him the most. Ronaldo would be the ever present optimist and insist they could make it work. And, truthfully, Lars thought they could. But he would still have to watch him age. He would watch him get stiff bones, gray hair, wrinkles and loss of memory, and Lars would still be the youthful man Ronaldo fell in love with. Lars would have to tell himself they were soulmates, but people would see them both and just mistake him for Ronaldo’s grandson or caretaker. It made him feel sick.

He would have to hold the old man’s hand when he breathed the last few sweet breaths of life, and then he would have to sit there and look at his dead, aged body and realize that he was going to be alone forever eventually.

Tears burned at Lars’ eyes as he imagined the scenario of his projected future, and he curled on the bed to cry more. This wasn’t fair. Not to him. And not to Ronaldo either.

Getting up, he eventually shuffled out sullenly to his chair in the galley, hardly responding to his crew’s cheerful morning greetings.

* * *

  
When Ronaldo blinked open his eyes a few hours after Lars had been awake, his mind almost instantly flooded with memories of the night before. His heart hadn’t stopped fluttering, and his knees were still a little weak from the activities they’d partaken in. He was a bit disheartened that he hadn’t woken up next to Lars but figured that would be the case. The captain didn’t need to sleep as often as he did prior to his resurrection, and Ronaldo didn’t want to keep him in one place for too long.

He threw his clothes back on and opened the door, strutting out into the ship’s hallways with a wide grin on his face that let the world know just how amazing he was feeling. Although he wouldn’t say that he was looking for anyone in particular, he was secretly hoping he’d run into Lars before anyone else. He could even picture it now: the two locking eyes and giggling to one another as the events that took place last night played throughout their brains like a movie in their minds. Maybe he would even get a good morning hug from him. Or a kiss! It was wishful thinking, especially with the rest of the crew around, but a thought that made his heart soar.  
  
The possibilities were endless, but all of them seemed so wonderful. He just wanted to tell the whole galaxy about how in love he was with Lars. If he wasn’t unsure of how public the other wanted to be about this right now, he would roll down the ship’s window and risk suffocating just to scream “I’M IN LOVE WITH LARS BARRIGA” as loudly as he could. To think this sweet, compassionate and caring space captain who he’d spent the night with was the same guy who wanted to get rid of him just a few months  ago. It was still hard to believe this is what had become of their close childhood friendship. Ronaldo couldn’t help but feel nervous, but in a good way, when he thought about how their friendship had evolved into romance despite everything it had been through.   
  
This is exactly how he’d wanted his first “true love” to be. He had to admit to himself that although he’d dated other people before, none of them made him feel in months like Lars had in just one night. With all of his past partners, he had felt they wouldn’t go on forever and that their relationship was more of a one-time thing that was fun while it lasted. But Lars? The way their lives had so miraculously intertwined seemed to him like a sign that this would be how it was for the rest of his time. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

The human was getting so caught up in these fantasies that he didn’t notice Blue Zircon heading toward him until they’d collided with one another. She gasped at the sudden contact.  
  
“Sorry Blue,” Ronaldo laughed, helping her steady herself so she didn’t fall over. “I wasn’t watching where I was going.”   
  
“Yeah, neither was I…” Her voice trailed off, alerting Ronaldo that something was going on.   
  
“Is something up?” he asked, sudden worry for his friend clouding his voice.   
  
“Well, not with me,” she informed him, “but the captain hasn’t said a word all morning.”   
  
_Oh, I know why that might be!_ Ronaldo stopped himself from saying anything, assuming that Lars had been daydreaming just as he had about their future together. “Is he like...distracted?” he hinted, raising an eyebrow.   
  
Blue sighed, not smiling in the slightest. “I guess? He won’t talk to anyone. He’s just been sitting in that chair of his with this stoic expression on his face and won’t even look at anyone. I’ve never seen him like this before…”   
  
Well that definitely wasn’t what Ronaldo had been expecting to hear. His originally over-the-top jubilant mood began to shift more toward the concerned territory. “Oh...I’ll go talk to him.”   
  
“Ronaldo, he won’t listen-”   
  
“He’ll listen to me. I know he will.”   
  
Blue opened her mouth to reply but noticed there was no way she would be able to reason with her friend. “Okay. I’ll take your word for it.   
  
Ronaldo gave her a thumbs up to ease her troubled thoughts before immediately making his way over to Lars’ captain chair, where he saw him, as Blue had said, staring off into space with the most emotionless look on his face Ronaldo had ever seen. His heart began to pound with something other than the adrenaline rush that came with being in love.   
  
He cleared his throat before trying to get Lars’ attention. “Good morning, Laaaars,” he singsonged joyfully, hoping his presence might cheer him up from whatever had brought him down.   
  
The captain locked eyes with him for a second, and his face almost lit up with...something. However, he quickly looked away, as if even making eye contact was too much for him right now.   
  
“How’s my favorite captain doing today?” Ronaldo questioned, trying again.   
  
Still nothing. His worry grew with every second he didn’t hear from Lars, a knot forming in his throat.   
  
“Lars? Do you need to talk?”   
  
Biting his lip, Lars finally let out a long sigh, still not daring to look the human in the eyes again. “I...do need to talk to you, actually.”   
  
“What’s bugging you?” Ronaldo leaned in and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I promise whatever it is, I’ll do my best t-”   
  
He was taken off guard when Lars suddenly swatted his hand away from him, flinching at his touch as if he’d hit him. Overall, it was such a small gesture, but it made Ronaldo feel sick to his stomach. What did he do wrong?   
  
“Okay I won’t touch you…but-”   
  
“Just let me talk,” Lars silenced him, voice wavering with either anger or fear. Ronaldo was too distressed to tell. “I uh...thought about this thing we have and everything that happened last night, and it kills me to say this, but um...I think we should stop seeing each other.”   
  
There it was. His words chilled Ronaldo to the bone, and for a second, he wasn’t even sure he’d heard him right. He wanted to stop? But they’d just started! Last night went so well, or at least he thought it did. Did he mess this up for himself too before much had even become of it?   
  
After a few seconds of processing everything and not knowing what to say, the human spoke up. “I-I...Lars, are you sure about this? I thought...we were getting on so well and-”   
  
“Yeah, I’m sure,” he replied, still doing his best to avoid looking at Ronaldo. “I’m sorry. I really wish it didn’t have to be this way, trust me, but I-”   
  
“So you just wanted one night out of me? Is that all it was to you?”   
  
“Wh-no!” Lars rushed to defend himself. “It’s not that, I promise, it’s just-”   
  
“Are you sure?” Ronaldo had a gut feeling that he shouldn’t be saying these things, but they flowed out of his mouth before he could control himself. “Because that’s what it looks like to me.”   
  
“N-No, just listen to me-”   
  
“You know, Lars? You did a good job. You really had me going there.” A deep laugh left his throat and tears began to form in his eyes. “You honestly convinced me that you had like...actual genuine feelings with me and weren’t just messing with me again.”   
  
“W-What? I was never messing with you! I’m trying to-”   
  
“Really? Because when I take a long hard look at things, that’s all I can get out of this. I mean, maybe I’m the stupid one for falling so hard for a guy who more or less fucking abandoned me in the past, but I guess you’re just that good at tricking people. Maybe being a pirate and all this gem shit made you even better at it or something.”   
  
“For fuck’s sake, stop and let me-”   
  
“No! I’m not gonna let you do this to me again, Lars!” Ronaldo was practically screaming now, tears streaming down his face and quivering fists clenched. “You pull me in, give me some sweet talk about how you enjoy my company, we get close and bam! You just leave me the day after you get what you want out of me like it meant nothing to you. Did you do this to all your other friends back on Earth too? Is this what you did to Sadie?”   
  
Lars was visibly shaking, trying to hide his face from the furious human and the gems that were now gathering around the two in concern. “No, it’s not! You don’t even know anything about what happened with me and her!”   
  
“I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it was! Why do you treat people like this? Is your self esteem really so shitty that you have to tear down others just to get something out of life? Is that what your sick, twisted deal is? Huh?”   
  
“What the hell’s wrong with you!?”   
  
“No, what the hell’s wrong with _you!?!_ ” Ronaldo angrily pointed a finger at Lars even though the other still hadn’t even bothered to face him. “I’m sorry I ever trusted you. I’m sorry I was naive enough to let myself get close to you again. I’m sorry I ever thought you were a good person when all you’ve ever done is hurt me more than anyone else in my life ever has! I wish I had never agreed to go to fucking space, of all places, with someone who’s done nothing for me except build me up and tear me down right when I think something’s actually going to happen and _won’t even look me in the eyes when he breaks up with me!_ I’m sorry I...I-I’m sorry that we…I...f-fuck...”   
  
Realizing all he’d said and getting hit full force with just how much this situation was impacting him, Ronaldo exploded into sobs. Blue ran to him as soon as it happened, letting the human rest his head on her shoulder and rubbing his back to comfort him. She turned her head toward Lars and shot him an icy stare that said “ _how dare you_ .”   
  
“I-I...I want to go back to Earth…” Ronaldo choked out, his voice slightly muffled from burying his face in Blue’s shoulder.

Lars was shaking in fury and heartsickness, tears already overflowing from his eyes. “Fuck you!!!” he spat, spooking the rest of his crew. “We can’t be together because someday you’re gonna get old and die, and I’m never gonna change! I didn’t want to have to tell you that! I’m gonna have to watch you slowly leave me, and there isn’t anything I can fucking do about it! Is _that_ what you wanted to hear!?!”

Ronaldo stared with owlish, terrified eyes as tears still streamed down his cheeks, stunned as Lars let loose his tirade. “Wh-”

“I don’t even know what the fuck I am anymore! I’m definitely not human,” Lars yelled, covering his eyes. “I won’t get to grow up with any of my friends. My family. You. I’m just gonna be like this forever and watch everyone else go on without me, and I don’t want to have anyone deal with that! You’re gonna grow old, and I’ll just have to sit there and watch it. It’s not fair!!!”

Turning pale, Ronaldo spoke up quietly. “Wh-why didn’t you tell me-”

“I didn’t know until this morning!” Lars snapped in frustration, gripping at his hair. “You didn’t even let me explain!” He cried harder, suddenly glaring at him furiously as salty tears streamed down his cheeks. “Is all _that_ what you really think of me??? Well, I’ll save you any more pain and just leave you alone forever! It’ll be easier for both of us.”

“I-I didn’t mean to-” Ronaldo was horrified at the things he’d said, trying so hard to make everything right again. “I’m so sorry-”

“Forget it, Ronaldo.” Lars spat the name out like venom. Still visibly hurting, he hurried to his private quarters without another word. The door to his room closed behind him, and the crew was left in complete silence and horror at what just happened.

“W-Wait, Captain!” the Rutiles spoke up, hurrying to go talk to him and comfort him.

Topaz almost followed suit, but her foot suddenly stopped in place. She looked incredibly conflicted, ultimately deciding to step back with the rest.

Blue Zircon was frozen in place, unsure of what to even say. Yellow Zircon had arrived to the scene late but got the just of what was going on, slowly moving toward Blue and hiding behind her. The two shared a worried glance once she’d been discovered by the other.  
  
“ _Is  something  going  on?_ ” Fluorite’s voice rang from the engine room. Everyone looked to her, not having any idea how to even describe what just took place.   
  
“What’s wrong with Ronaldo…?” a small voice asked, Padparadscha appearing from behind Rhodonite. For once, although it was presumably in reaction to his previous raging breakdown, her prediction was still accurate.   
  
Not knowing what to do, Ronaldo began to sob again, leaning on Blue and shivering. She continued to comfort him to her best ability and was soon joined by Yellow, who attempted to do the same.   
  
The ship was quiet for the rest of the night, save for the faint sound of Lars’ mix tape playing from his room.

 

_Tears are running_

_They're all running down your dress_

_And your friends, baby_

_They treat you like a guest_ _  
_


	14. Losing My Religion

 

_Oh life, it's bigger_

_It's bigger than you_

_And you are not me_

_The lengths that I will go to_

_The distance in your eyes_

_Oh no, I've said too much_

_I set it up…_

 

Ronaldo couldn’t help but linger by the door to Lars’ room in hopes that he would emerge from it, although he’d hardly left it for anything in the span of two days. The only traces of the captain any of the crew had picked up on since their fight was the music from behind his closed door that was slightly audible to passerbys. The human listened as closely as he could, trying to close his eyes and pretend they were listening to it together. He wished they could have done that more before all of this happened.  
  
The crew was doing just about as well as a crew without a captain would, which was not that great. There seemed to be a large amount of tension between everyone. When Ronaldo had greeted the twins, they sullenly glared at him and made no response. Sometimes it even felt like some of the crew wanted Ronaldo to take Lars’ place while he was unable to do his job. He couldn’t do that. He was never cut out to be a captain of anything, no matter how much he wanted to believe he could. He apparently couldn't even have a stable relationship with someone without flipping out on them and ruining it. How was he supposed to handle a whole crew?  
  
Sighing, Ronaldo looked to Lars’ room once more. He missed him so much that even thinking of things that reminded him of Lars hurt, like standing there and hearing the sound of his tape. It made his thoughts wander back to when he’d wake up with him playing it in the main room of the ship for everyone to hear. Even the most melancholy of songs sounded so vibrant and magical played out loud. This muffled music he was hearing right now was a gloomy reprise compared to what it used to be.  
  
He also hadn’t quite processed that Lars was immortal yet. The human had no idea why he’d never considered it as a possibility before, especially given that the reanimated boy had several powers as a side-effect of his second chance at life. Perhaps not even all of them had been discovered yet.  
  
Ronaldo wondered if they’d still be together if he didn’t blow up at Lars for more or less no reason. Of course the other would have protested it and said it would never work out, but he at least wanted to try. Something told Ronaldo that if they could go from human sacrifice to making out in space within the span of a few years, anything was possible for the future of their relationship. Maybe he would even end up dying at a young age and being revived by Steven too, leaving them both to be immortal. Who knows?  
  
However, as much faith as he had in their relationship, it really didn’t seem like it was going to survive this. Thinking about it made Ronaldo feel just as sick as he did when it was all happening. Perhaps he’d eat his words in a few days or weeks or whenever Lars possibly came around and accepted his apology, but his chances were looking slimmer by every passing day.  
  
While the human was deep in thought about this, someone tugged at his shirt. He slowly moved his head toward whoever it was and found himself face to face with a hauntingly familiar gem that he was not expecting to see.  
  
“ _EMERALD!!!_ ” He shrieked in shock and fury, jumping to his feet and looking more pissed than anything that she’d decided to show her face around here during such an awful time for the crew. “Listen here, you little shit, I don’t have time for this right now. None of us do. Lars isn’t feeling up to whatever you have to say to him so just...fuck off!!!”  
  
The supposed rival gem looked extremely frightened at his outburst. “N-No! You don’t understand! I’m not that Emerald! I’m-”  
  
“Save your breath!” Ronaldo warned, clenching his hands into fists. “I want you off this ship now, or I’ll throw your lifeless corpse into the atmosphere, you ugly little weasel!”  
  
“HEY!”  
  
A small green gem with oddly circular yellow hair, a triangular gem on her forehead and a voice louder than she looked scrambled in and stood in front of the Emerald defensively.  
  
“You’ve got the wrong gem!” she exclaimed. “This isn’t the Emerald that took Lars! She’s Facet-3R7P Cut-8XV!”  
  
“Thank you, 6XL,” the Emerald sighed in relief. Ronaldo noticed that she had two eyes and a gem where her belly button should be like Steven.  
  
“Wait a second…” he thought out loud, “then...who are you two? Have more gems found us!?”  
  
“No, please don’t panic!” the gem referred to by the other as 6XL comforted him. “We’ve been here all along.”  
  
“We’re normally fused,” the Emerald continued, “as uh...Fluorite.”  
  
Sudden realization dawned on Ronaldo, and he felt his heart ache when he noticed what had happened. “So you guys...oh my gosh, why!?”  
  
“We’re in a bit of a...disagreement,” sighed the Emerald. “We just don’t know what to think about what’s going on here.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Between you and the captain!” 6XL continued, sounding vaguely annoyed. “Of course, I know you had the right to lash out because you felt threatened, but some of them think Lars did nothing wrong, and it’s so frustrating! I swear, today 6XG-she’s another Peridot, like myself-was going on and on about how poor Lars was under attack or whatever, and I almost exploded! I love her and all but seriously, it’s so hard to stay fused with gems who have such horrific opinions!”  
  
Crestfallen upon hearing what the situation had caused, the human hung his head. “Aw geeze...I never wanted you guys to take sides.”  
  
“It’s okay,” the Emerald replied, touching Ronaldo’s shoulder. “I’m choosing to stay neutral as well. That’s why I came to see you. I thought I might be able to help you talk things out with Lars, but is he still…?” She pointed to his room, making it obvious what she wanted to ask.  
  
“Ah, yeah. He hasn’t come out in like two days or something.” Ronaldo sighed, crestfallen. “I never meant to hurt him like this.”  
  
Before the Emerald could speak again, Topaz walked slowly into the scene, gloomily dragging her feet. At first, Ronaldo thought that perhaps all the crying he’d been doing had further messed up his eyesight because she definitely looked a lot smaller than usual. But then he saw that she only had one gem on the side of her head and felt a sense of dread creep over him.  
  
“Topaz too?” he asked, turning to the Emerald.  
  
“Yes…” she sighed. “It’s so odd seeing her split up. Neither Topaz nor Topaz really say much of anything.”  
  
“Please don’t tell me Rhodonite unfused too.”  
  
“No, but she’s been hiding. All of this is making her more anxious than usual, and she’s having a really hard time keeping it together.”

“And those Rutiles sure don't like you right now,” the Peridot piped up. “But I always kind of figured they were on the captain's side the whole time.”  
  
Ronaldo bit his lip nervously, not wanting to accept how much it looked like their newly-formed family was falling apart all because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. “I guess everyone’s just not getting along then…”  
  
“Well,” the Emerald thought out loud, “not everyone…”  
  
“And it turns out that it was the Agate who did it all along!” A surprisingly cheerful voice sounded from down the hallway of the ship, and everyone turned to see the two Zircons, walking with their arms locked together as Yellow was impressing Blue with a tale from the courtroom.  
  
“Oh my stars, are you serious?” Blue gasped in response. “That’s unbelieveable!”  
  
“I know!” Yellow sighed in between her laughter. “Even I would have bet everything I had on that pesky Jasper, but hey! I guess that just goes to show you that sometimes things don’t turn out the way you think they’re going to.”  
  
“You can say that again.” Blue sighed dreamily, leaning in toward the other as they walked.  
  
“Wow, this ship really is fucking backwards! I’m going back to bed,” Ronaldo grumbled, walking back into his room and locking the door.

Once Ronaldo retired to his room, Lars had left his and was back to his seat in the galley, looking exhausted and sullen. His heart was broken, and basically so was the rest of him to go with it. He didn’t even bother to greet his crew or stand to look at their faces as he came in.

“Captain, I envision-”, Padparadscha began.

“Don’t want to hear it,” he spoke flatly. “I know Topaz and Fluorite split apart. I know the Zircons are all over each other. I know there’s an Emerald on board. What else do you want to tell me?”

“Oh!” She smiled, relieved. “You were aware of the Emerald who just docked near our ship?”

“Yes I-” He paused. “Wait, what?” A loud explosion burst through the galley, knocking everyone onto the ground, and Lars flew forward from his chair with a yelp, groaning as he lay sprawled on the floor.

Almost immediately, all of Fluorite’s components rushed together to embrace each other out of fear, quickly fusing again, and the large gem was visibly stunned at the sudden explosion. The Topazes held onto each other, shaken in surprise, and both Zircons were sprawled on top of each other, Yellow choking on some of the smoke and screeching. “Wh-what on LUNA was that?!”

“Well, I must say, Emmie, you certainly know how to make an entrance!” a shrill voice chirped, followed by a small blue gem placing herself on top of Lars’ chair.

“Oh shit,” Lars whispered.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Ronaldo had been startled awake by the explosion and peeked out of his room, seeing a familiar gem facing away from him.

“Oh hey, it must be that sweet little Emerald from earlier,” he spoke to himself, walking over to grab her shoulder. “What just happened in the-”

He was met with an uppercut to the jaw, and knocked flat on his ass. “WHAT THE HELL!?!”

Emerald grinned wickedly at him, still standing in her ruined dress from weeks earlier. She roughly grabbed him by the arm, dragged him into the galley. “Look what I’ve found!” she singsonged, looking with a maliciously gleeful expression at Lars.

Lars locked eyes with Ronaldo, then looked away almost shamefully and stood up. “What do you two want?”

“What does it look like?” Aquamarine giggled. “Revenge. And to retrieve something of _mine_ back.” She glowered in the direction of the two Topazes who looked visibly frightened.

“You’re not laying a finger on them,” Lars snarled. “You’d better get off my ship before I-”

“Before you what? Blast your noisy music and annoy me?”

Lars clenched his fists and glanced at Emerald, scoffing at her. “You’re seriously still wearing that? What, you still think the wedding is on?”

“Oh that ship has long sailed,” Emerald snarled. “This is now a celebration dress for once I’ve got your pitiful body incinerated into ashes!”

“Well, now,” Aquamarine cut in, smiling, “first we should see what the Diamonds have to say. But after they hear what this little ragtag group has been up to, I’m certain they’ll let us punish them however we please.” Emerald flashed a vicious smile in Lars’ direction as the smaller gem spoke.

“Wh-why are you doing this?” one of the Topazes whimpered, looking at the two intruding gems.

“Because he left me at the altar, and I spent a very long time finding this dress!!!” Emerald gnashed her teeth, pointing at Lars.

“ _And  it  looks  lovely,_ ” Fluorite cut in, trying to cut the tension.

“Oh...thank you!” Emerald smiled, blushing for a moment, then immediately cut back to her rage. “And once I have the most wanted...er...I mean... _fourteenth_ most wanted criminal on Homeworld, I will be in favor with the Diamonds again! Isn’t that right, Aquamarine?”

“That’s basically it,” the little gem smiled, whipping out her wand, ready to apprehend the entire crew. “Any last words before we have you all locked up?”

“I surrender.” Lars suddenly spoke up, standing on his feet very slowly and holding his hands out in front of him.

“W-what…?” Ronaldo gasped with a glance toward Lars, forgetting the strong tension between them in the heat of the moment.

“I have to,” Lars turned to him, speaking to where hopefully only the crew could hear. “They could kill all of you, but not me. And if they take me, they’ll leave you guys alone.”

“You can't do that!” Blue screeched. “You’d have to spend eternity in a cell all by yourself! That's no way to live!”

Not even responding to her pleas, Lars turned back to the two intruders. “Just take me and leave my crew out of this, okay? I’m the one you want. They haven't done anything to warrant this.”

“Lars…” Ronaldo fretted under his breath.

“Hmmmmm,” Emerald scratched her chin in thought. “Well, you _are_ the main target here, and I doubt your miserable little crew would last a millisecond without you to boss them around. What do you say, Aqua?”

“If it's what you want, it's what I want,” she replied with a smirk, then frowning and adding, “but don't call me Aqua. It's hideously informal.”

Once the orders had been made clear, the winged gem flew toward the ceiling and clapped her hands together. “Okay then. Citrines! Take him away.”

Lars didn't even budge or flinch in the slightest as the two bulky Quartzes took him and began to carry him toward the rival ship. Ronaldo was watching the scene unfold, desperately wanting to do something but only knowing how to scream.

“Lars, no!” he yelled, tears starting to well up in his eyes again. “I won't let you do this!!!”

“Captain!” one of the Rutiles called to him.

“Don't go!” the other followed up, sounding just as terrified.

“Oh what are we gonna do!?” Rhodonite wailed, covering both sets of her eyes. “I-I can't watch!”

Lars opened his eyes as he was boarded on the ship, taking one last look at it and his beloved crew. He gave one final order, a bittersweet grin stretching across his face. “Take care of the ship, guys.”

“What are you doing, you moron!?” Yellow piped up fearfully.

“Get down from there this instant!” Blue commanded, also starting to tear up.

Suddenly, a loud and desperate scream came from Ronaldo. “LARS!!!” he called out in a panicked wail.

The captain spoke his final words to the crew as the ship’s door began to close, leaving him out of sight before it sped off soon after.

“ _I love you._ ”

Although the sentiment was directed at everyone, Ronaldo could have sworn that Lars locked eyes with him as he said it.

 

 _I thought that I heard you laughing_  
_I thought that I heard you sing_ _  
I think I thought I saw you try_


	15. The Chain

  
_  
And if you don't love me now_

_You will never love me again_

_I can still hear you saying_

_You would never break the chain..._

 

In the dead silence following the ship speeding away, the Off-Color crew was left stunned, speechless and without a captain.

Not even Padparadscha could speak up, horrified at the premonition that came to her stating that Lars would sacrifice himself for their safety. One of the Rutiles covered her face with her hand, trying not to cry and allowing her twin to comfort her silently. Rhodonite clung onto Padparadscha, holding back tears, and Fluorite curled around her companions, a solemn sad look on her face.

Topaz, having fused again, was pacing about the ship anxiously, muttering forlornly about how this probably was all her fault. It wasn’t. The Zircons held each other’s hand, looking sadly at one another, then at Ronaldo, who was still staring out at where the ship had been with fresh teardrops in his eyes.  
  
The only noise in the entire ship was a faint tune coming from one of Lars’ tapes, playing from what appeared to be the engine room. Fluorite, or whoever had been down there, probably hadn’t had time to pause it before the commotion began. Something about hearing it, one of the last things they had to remember their captain by, made the situation even more emotional.

“What do we do now?” Blue broke the silence, sounding nervous and choked up.  
  
“ _I  wish  I  knew,_ ” Fluorite sighed slowly, turning to Topaz and patting her on the shoulder to reassure her that none of this was her fault.  
  
“I should have tried harder to stop this,” Topaz said, voice quiet and dripping with regret. “I’m sorry.”  
  
“Y-You don’t have to be sorry,” Rhodonite spoke up, walking over to comfort the other fusion. “I don’t think anyone could have stopped him…”  
  
“The captain is very...unpredictable,” one of the Rutiles explained.  
  
“But none of us could have seen this coming,” her twin continued the other’s thought.  
  
“What are we going to do?” Padparadscha piped up, repeating Blue’s question thanks to her lagging visions and looking to Rhodonite with a large frown.  
  
“I have no clue, but we couldn’t possibly go after them!” Yellow frightfully added. “Those gems would just shatter all of us and keep Lars locked away forever. There’s no way we could compete with an Aquamarine, all of those rogue Citrines and that insufferable Emerald! Individually, maybe, but all at once? They’d have us turned into the Diamonds and destroyed in no time!”  
  
“I agree,” Rhodonite added. “It’s too risky, and the captain wouldn’t want us to get hurt.”  
  
“So does this mean we have to find a new captain?” a Rutile twin asked.  
  
“Oh! I nominate Fluorite!” the other responded.  
  
“ _I  don’t  know…_ ” the large fusion answered to their idea, obviously still heavily shaken by the latest events.  
  
“Nobody’s going to be the new captain,” Ronaldo spoke, causing everyone to turn to him. “We don’t need a new captain. We _have_ a captain. We just have to get him back.”  
  
Yellow’s eyes grew wide with shock. “Are you serious!?! We’ll all be shattered! And you’ll be uh...how do you shatter a human?”  
  
“It’s too dangerous,” Topaz replied softly. “We can’t risk it.”  
  
“It’s best if we just keep his memory alive and take care of the ship like he asked us to,” Rhodonite continued.  
  
The human had a disappointed look on his face when he heard these reactions from the crew. “But we have to, guys! He’s our captain! He’s our _friend!_ You all can’t seriously be okay with just letting them have him, can you?”  
  
“It’s not that we don’t want to,” one of the twins told Ronaldo.  
  
“It’s that we can’t,” the other followed up, hanging her head.  
  
“The captain is...gone,” Padparadscha whimpered, catching up with what Yellow had said earlier.  
  
Ronaldo was clearly getting desperate to find someone to help him. “Fluorite! You’ll help, right?”  
  
The large fusion looked down at him, pain clear in all six of her eyes. “ _I’m  sorry,_ ” she answered, “ _but  there’s  nothing  we  can  do._ ”  
  
“You can’t be serious,” Ronaldo groaned, running a hand through his hair and realizing he only had one hope now.  
  
“Blue!” he called to the Zircon, causing her to whip around to face him. “You’re with me on this, right? C’mon...we agreed to do all sorts of stuff on Earth together. We can start with this!”  
  
She was silent for a while, glancing at Yellow and back to Ronaldo and then at the floor. “I-I’m sorry, Ronaldo, but...it’s like Yellow said. It’s far too dangerous. He wouldn’t want us to throw ourselves in harm’s way, especially when we don’t even-”  
  
“But he would have done it for us.”  
  
Ronaldo’s statement caused the ship to go silent again as everyone began to think of the many times Lars had risked his life for the sake of his crew. The very first day he’d met the Off-Colors, he’d willingly thrown himself in the path of dangerous robonoids for them, which in the end cost him his life. Even though he needed a little extra push from his human companion, he’d gone after Blue Zircon and Yellow Zircon despite not even knowing either of them outside of Yellow putting his head in a bubble and Blue being Steven’s lawyer once. And, of course, he had just turned himself in to Homeworld gems and his greatest foe for them, knowing well that it meant he would suffer an eternity of isolation.  
  
“I know things look scary right now,” Ronaldo resumed, “and it might seem like we won’t win, but damnit, we have to try! We can’t just give up on someone who’s done so much for us like this. And call me an ignorant optimist, but I think we stand a pretty good chance against those gems. I mean, there’s one, two, three, four…” his voice trailed off as he counted the number of crew members in his head, “nine of us! Technically _sixteen!_ I don’t know how many Citrines are still with Emerald, but it can’t be over like six or something. Blue!” He looked to the Zircon again.  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“Do you remember when I was explaining family to you, and you said that we were like a family?”  
  
“Of course.” She smiled slightly at the memory.  
  
“Well, there’s one thing I forgot to say: families will do _anything_ for one another, from jumping in front of killer gem robots to going after someone who sacrificed himself to their most feared rivals. They always have your back no matter what. If we just let them have Lars, we’d be throwing away a very important member of our family.” Tears threatened to leave Ronaldo’s eyes as he wrapped up his speech, and he raised his glasses to rub a few from his eyes. “So...what do you say? Are you ready to go after Lars as a family?”  
  
There was a long pause. The Off-Colors all looked at one another, mentally coming to a group decision on how to reply.  
  
“I’m ready.” Blue’s voice suddenly echoed throughout the ship as she walked over to stand by Ronaldo. “I’m going with you.”  
  
“No!” Yellow instantly screamed, running for Blue and grabbing her arm in protest. “Blue, please, you can’t! You’ll get shattered!”  
  
“I have to, Yellow,” she told the other, trying to calm her. “Ronaldo’s right. Lars is part of our family.”  
  
“Yeah, well so am I!” she frantically protested, grasping Blue’s shoulders and making eye contact with her. “I won’t let you do this. I know you want to play the hero, but I can’t just watch you throw yourself in the face of danger.”  
  
“Yellow, I’m going to do this whether you like it or not!”  
  
“ _But I need you!_ ”  
  
The outburst from Yellow caused everyone to move their focus on the Zircons in surprise at what she’d said. She slowly removed her hands from Blue’s shoulders and backed off, glancing away in embarrassment and worry.  
  
“I’ll go too,” Topaz piped up, also making her way toward them. “I’ll try my hardest to keep Ronaldo and Blue safe. After all that Lars has done for me, it’s only fair I help him out too.”  
  
“ _And  I  will  as  well,_ ” Fluorite finally gave in, slowly slinking to stand with the others who had joined Ronaldo.  
  
The two Rutiles looked to one another and came to a silent decision, moving to the side of the ship with those who had agreed to save Lars.  
  
Rhodonite hesitated for a moment, trying to work out what to do. Topaz looked to her and gave her a reassuring grin which motivated her to join them with a quiet “Alright!”  
  
Yellow Zircon was still glancing at the floor when the whole crew turned to her. Clenching her fists and noticing how Blue was staring at her so pleadingly, the yellow gem finally opened her mouth. “Well...I suppose I vowed to never let Blue one-up me in anything, including impulsive and crazy stunts designated to get us all killed.” She almost laughed as she walked over to stand by the other Zircon. “I’m going too.”  
  
Blue flashed her a proud smile to let her know she greatly approved of her decision, heart swelling at the Zircon’s bravery.  
  
“So, is that all of us then?” Ronaldo asked enthusiastically.  
  
“ _Not  all  of  us,_ ” Fluorite responded, pointing to Padparadscha who was still on the other side of the ship with a blank expression.  
  
“Ohhhh right,” he remembered. “Well...let’s give her some time.”  
  
The crew looked to the small Sapphire for about a minute before she finally cheered “Count me in!” and ran to join the others.  
  
“There!” Ronaldo announced triumphantly once she’d officially made her way over to them. “Okay, crew!” He took a brave stance with his leg up on Lars’ captain chair and hand pointed out in front of him, looking as if he came straight out of a superhero movie. “Let’s go save our captain!"

* * *

Emerald giggled with malicious glee as she leered at Lars, who she’d just placed in the prison cell. “I can’t wait to see the look on the Diamonds’ faces when they see you! They’ll _have_ to give me my job back!” She clapped her hands a little.

Lars just looked at her with a blank look of defeat and stared down at his lap, ready to accept whatever fate he was going to be subjected to.

“Guess you’re wishing you married me instead,” the green gem grinned smugly, baring her teeth.

Lars didn’t even respond or look up.

“Ugh, you’re no fun,” Emerald spat and stomped back over to Aquamarine. “Sooo any idea what the reward is going to be on his head once he’s in the hands of the Diamonds?”

“Oh, it’ll be _big_ ,” Aquamarine grinned. “It will be the talk of the century. Well, besides the future capture of Rose Quartz.”

“Good. I want to be revered as the hero Homeworld has needed all along.”

“Oh, I bet you do.”

Emerald looked out the window, noticing the various planets they were passing by and was curious if Aquamarine was taking a detour to Homeworld. “So um...how much longer until we get there?”

Aquamarine just smiled, not answering.

“Ah...Aquamarine?”

“We’re making one teensy little stop before we get to it,” the little gem chirped, turning to the Citrine piloting the ship. “Citrine! Would you please set coordinates for the prison planet?”

Emerald’s brow furrowed in confusion. “The prison planet?”

“Yep!”

“But we’re taking him to the Diamonds, not a bunch of Sodalites!”

“Oh it’s not for _him_.” Aquamarine smirked wickedly as she looked up at Emerald.

The rogue gem shivered in a sudden pang of realization that she had just been double-crossed. “But we-”

“I know, we had a deal and all that cutesy friendship drivel, but I started thinking about how much _bigger_ the reward will be once I present a rogue Lars to the Diamonds that I _singlehandedly_ captured, along with the word of the Sodalites that I turned in an incompetent rogue _Emerald_ to them! The promotion I’d get would be _amazing!_ ” Aquamarine held her hands up to emphasize the size of it, smiling with wide eyes.

“Th-this is ridiculous!!” Emerald protested, clenching her fists. “Citrines! Seize this little-” She was cut off as she was suddenly incapacitated by her large bodyguards.

“They don’t follow your orders anymore,” Aquamarine cooed cruelly. “Now, _Citrines,_ could you please put the prisoner in the cell with her new _companion_?”

Lars hadn’t been paying attention to the conversation and perked up as he heard Emerald screeching, swatting and cursing as she was forcibly dragged over to the cell. The barrier shut off momentarily for the Citrines to throw their former superior inside unceremoniously. Emerald smacked against the wall with a loud bang and groaned as she sat on all fours, screaming incoherently that this was mutiny and once she explained everything to the Sodalites they’d let her go, but Aquamarine only flittered over with a smug grin plastered across her face.

“Who do you think they’d believe: a trusted member of their court or a traitor to her own Diamond who was vain enough to blow up her own ship?” She snickered mischievously, seeing the despondent and sorrowful look on her former ally.

“What the heck is going on?” Lars finally spoke up, looking more confused than worried or upset.

“You’ll have a new companion for a short while. Well, it shouldn’t be too long before we reach the prison planet! You two stay comfy in there until then.” Aquamarine poked the end of her wand against her cheek in thought as she smiled deridingly. “You know, it really is too bad you didn’t have one of those ridiculous human ‘weddings’.  You two might have made a cute couple,” she taunted, giggling as she flew back to her seat with the Citrines following her.  
  
“Auuugh!!!” Emerald cried in anguish once they’d left her alone. “This is unacceptable! To betray me and lock me in a cell is one thing, but to betray me and lock me in a cell with _him_ is cruel and unusual punishment! Let me out!!!”  
  
Frantic to escape, the green gem plunged into the barrier of her cell and gave a loud yelp as it shocked her and sent her flying toward the back of it. Getting to her feet, she attempted to leave the cell that way again and got the exact same results. Before trying a third time, Lars rolled his eyes and grabbed her arm, restraining her.  
  
“Are you trying to get yourself electrocuted to death before you’re actually turned in or something?” he spat, still sounding cold and unfeeling.  
  
“No,” she snarled. “I’m trying to escape!”  
  
“Well you’re not going to do it that way. Or any way. We’re just stuck here until we both….until you die.”  
  
Emerald gave up, huffing and sitting in the opposite corner of the cell as Lars, the two not even wanting to look at each other but still resuming the conversation. “This wouldn’t be happening if _someone_ had went through with our wedding plans!” Emerald threw her hands up in frustration.  
  
“For fuck’s sake, can you shut the hell up about that wedding bullshit?” Lars snapped, wanting to bang his head against the wall in annoyance after mere seconds of being trapped with her.  
  
“That must be a really easy question for you to ask seeing that you weren’t the one who was left at the altar! We could have taken over the world together, but noooo, you escaped with those hideous little misfits before we even had a chance!”  
  
“Hmmmm well, maybe it’s because...gee, I don’t know, perhaps _I didn’t want to fucking marry you!_ ” He was visibly becoming even more stressed and anxious as she continued to hound him about his past escape from her clutches.  
  
“Why noooot!? Do you not know how powerful we could have been together? We could have taken out all of those traitorous Citrines and Aquamarine with our merged abilities! But now it’s too late, and we’re just going to perish.” She sniffled as if she was about to start crying again.  
  
“Oh, don’t you dare try to blame your mistakes on me!” Lars rolled his eyes at her. “It didn’t work for Sadie, and it sure as hell isn’t going to work for you.”  
  
“My mistakes!?!” She scoffed. “What are you even talking about? And what in Homeworld’s name is a Sadie?”  
  
The space pirate sighed, not realizing how much it stung to think of her or anyone else on Earth until Emerald asked. “Just someone on Earth that I’ll never get to see again. Like my parents. And the Cool Kids. And I suppose Steven could still visit me, but I wouldn’t let him stay. I don’t want him to see me like this.” He felt tears threatening to make their way out of his eyes as he recalled everyone who he was leaving behind and tried his best to fight them, but it was nearly impossible. “Not to mention that I’ll never get to see my ship again. Or my tape player. Or my crew. My _best friends_ . Even the new members! Topaz, the Zircons, Ron-...” 

He knew that would be the name that sent him over the edge. “R-Ronal...d…” Unable to fight his unavoidable breakdown, Lars suddenly found himself burying his head in his knees as he sobbed.

“R-Ronnie…” he choked out, still trying to finish what he’d started. “I’ll never see Ronnie again! And not to mention that he probably thinks I hate his guts now because I was an idiot and broke up with him! But you know why I did that?” He looked up from his knees to shoot Emerald a furious glare, eyes bloodshot with tears and tiredness. “You know what I just found out, Emerald? I’m fucking immortal! I can’t die! You can stop trying to kill me now because it’s not gonna happen no matter how badly both of us want it! I’m just gonna spend forever in a cell and never get to see my family or my friends or my goddamn _boyfriend_ again!” He really didn’t expect this situation to be the first time he referred to Ronaldo as such. Neither did he want it to be.  
  
The green gem looked speechless as he went off at her and opened her mouth to say something, but Lars cut her off. “Do you think I asked for this shit? Do you think I woke up one morning and said to myself “hey, I know what to do today! I’m gonna go to space and get myself killed and come back as some weird ass _thing_ that can’t relate to any of his friends because he doesn’t even know what the hell he is!” Do you think that’s how it went? Because let me tell you, I never asked for this. I was just a fucking _human boy_ , Emerald. I was _seventeen years old_ when all of this happened! I was nothing but a dumb cowardly teenager with no future who couldn’t even muster up the courage to go to a stupid party! And now I can’t even go home without putting everyone I love’s lives in danger because every gem in the galaxy wants my head plastered on the wall of their ship!”  
  
Lars paused, taking a shaky breath before he spoke again. “I know you don’t know what that means and all, but it’s _fucked up_ . I’m j-just...so fucked up now…”  
  
He didn’t even care how she was looking at him or what she was going to say. All he could do now was hide his head in shame as even more tears flowed profusely from his eyes, and his heart ached for those who he’d never see again.

Emerald suddenly threw her head back and let out a loud, maniacal laugh, hardly believing a word he said. “Finally! You’ve become weakened and vulnerable enough that you need to fake frailty! I knew I just had to wait and soon you’d crack! Who’s the failure now?!” she shrieked out loud at Aquamarine and also Lars, then nudged him hard. “Now grovel and bask in my glory you inferior low-class space pirate! Hey! Did you hear me?! Grovel!!!”

She kept shoving Lars to get his attention, slowly stopping once she realized he was still crying, and he really hadn’t been making up his origins. The more he cried and the more she realized just how miserable he looked, it started to sink in that despite the smoke and mirrors and loud noise, this dreaded space pirate she hated was still, underneath it all, a young human way in over his head. She _never_ would have such a gross and pathetic breakdown (really), but a true human totally would! And with the realization that he was human, she almost pitied him. She _hated_ feeling pity or anything of the sort! She’d have to resolve this and try to stop his infectious despairing before the whole concept of chasing him through the galaxy wasn’t fun anymore.  
  
After a minute or two of watching Lars sob in silence, Emerald spoke to him quietly and with a tone Lars had never heard come from her. “Well um...as much as it kills me to say this, Lars...I have to admit…” she spat the last part out as quickly as she could, as if it were literally killing her to say it, “you’re the most intelligent enemy I’ve ever come across. There, I said it. Happy now?”  
  
Lars raised his head, eyes still red and puffy. “Ugh. You’re just saying that.”  
  
She rolled her eyes. “Grrrrrr, don’t take advantage of my moment of weakness! I’m serious, you cretin! Anyone else would have been destroyed by my wit and trickery and pure deviousness by now, but you? You said you can’t even be wiped off of the face of the planet no matter how hard anyone tries, and I think I believe it!”  
  
Feeling a bit weird to hear Emerald, out of everyone, complimenting him on anything gave him a strange sense of confidence he desperately needed at that moment. “Heh. That’s right…”  
  
“Guess I’m just gonna have to try extra hard to get rid of you now,” she mused, flashing Lars a surprisingly genuine smile.  
  
“You do that,” he laughed, smirking slightly. “I doubt you’ll get anywhere though, you scoundrel.”  
  
“We’ll have to see about that.” She winked.  
  
Lars ran an arm over his eyes to wipe the tears off his face. “Ya know, I still don’t like you at all or anything, but...thanks for that.”  
  
“Wow, that’s a shocker to hear from you!” Emerald laughed at first but then had a look of epiphany. “Did we just...bond? Does this mean we’re married?” 

“WHAT?! NO!!!” The melancholic look on Lars’ face changed to one of pure horror and disgust. “Seriously, cut that shit out! You don’t even know what it means!”  
  
“Then what does it mean, smart one?” she challenged him, returning to her usual vain and uppity self.  
  
Lars thought hard about how he would explain this to her, and a metaphorical lightbulb went off in his head. “Okay so...you know how some gems stay fused for their entire lives?”  
  
“Ugh, yes! Like that Topaz? It’s so sickeningly sappy! How could anyone have that much _love_ for anyone else in their hearts?” She shuddered and gagged in disgust at the thought.  
  
“Welp, guess you should know because that’s basically the gem equivalent to marriage,” Lars chuckled, wearing a smirk.  
  
“Wh….” Emerald’s eyes grew wider than the planets they were zooming past, and it looked as if she was turning a paler shade of green. “So….it’s like….”  
  
“Oh yeah. It’s like _that_ .”  
  
For a second, it looked as if the other gem would pass out from shock. But instead, she threw her head back and let out the loudest scream Lars had possibly heard from anyone in his entire life, causing him to cover his ears and recoil as the ship shook in response.  
  
“I WAS GOING TO DO _THAT_ WITH _YOU_ !?!”  
  
“Y-Yeah, but don’t bust my eardrums over it, sheesh!”  
  
“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME!?!”  
  
“I tried to like a gazillion times!”  
  
“Hey, keep it down in there, you filthy traitor!” Aquamarine’s shrill voice snarled from the distance. “You’re going to blow this ship up too!”  
  
However, that didn’t stop her from screaming more disgusted protests. “OF ALL THE VILE, HORRIFIC, TERRIBLE-”  
  
Suddenly, a memory triggered by Emerald’s shriek popped up in Lars’ mind. The wheels in his head began to turn as he realized that they might have a way to escape after all.  
  
“Hey, Emerald!” He tried to get her attention.  
  
“-DISGUSTING, CRUDE, UNHEARD OF-”  
  
“ _Emerald!_ ”  
  
“-ABOMINABLE, DESPICABLE, REPULSIVE-”  
  
“ _EMERALD!_ ”  
  
She stopped her rant once Lars raised his voice, angrily glaring at him. “What?!”

“I think I have a way to get us out of here!”

“This ship has no escape pods left,” Emerald groaned. “Aquamarine destroyed them in case you tried to get loose and-”

“Not that,” he said, shaking his head. “I’ve got an even better idea.”

“Well, since we’re in the middle of space, and any escape plan from here involves us floating in zero-gravity and you probably being dead within seconds...I’d love to hear it!”

“Alright,” he replied, then immediately screamed in her ear, scaring the bejeezus out of her.

“What did you do that for?!” she snapped, jumping like a startled cat. “That was the loudest noise I’ve ever heard!!!”

“You thought that was loud but bleeding your ears out on my headphones wasn’t?” Lars cackled. “And you haven’t heard the loudest yet! I’m gonna scream so loud, it’s gonna get us out of here!”

“Wh-?”

Lars inhaled a deep breath and let loose with a loud air-splitting scream, a beam of light immediately following. A large portal appeared in front of him and Emerald, whose jaw had dropped in disbelief.

“Y-You just-”

“Yup,” he said with a nod. “My secret weapon. Screamy portal powers.”

“I DIDN’T KNOW HUMANS COULD DO THAT!!!”

“I didn’t either! Now let’s move it!!” He shoved her in the tunnel of light and jumped after her, cackling in delight at his own success.

Aquamarine hadn’t turned her head to see the commotion. She’d heard the screams but had assumed the prisoners were crying out in agony and suffering. “Music to my ears,” she chirped.

Lars and Emerald both cried out as they fell through the bright tunnel and on top of each other. Getting up, Lars looked around, realizing he had transported them to the exact same spot on the prison planet he’d escaped from with Ronaldo and the Zircons weeks earlier, sans the surrounding forces of Sodalites.

“You idiot!” Emerald shrieked. “You just transported us to where Aquamarine was planning to go anyway!”

“Well, at least we can run away from here,” Lars pointed out. “While the coast is clear, we should make a break for it, and once we’re a safe distance away, I can try and figure out how get back to my ship-”

“Well I don’t have a ship! Aquamarine _stole_ it!” Emerald whined, crossing her arms.

“Poor you,” he spoke flatly. “Either we get to my ship, or I leave you here at the mercy of the Sodalites.”

She opened her mouth to try and argue but snapped it shut with a dirty look, crossing her arms. “Your ship is disgusting but serviceable.”

“Glad we found a resolution.”

* * *

 

The Off-Colors gathered around Ronaldo, who was sitting in the captain’s chair while they all made a group effort to come up with a plan. He had earlier tied his hair into a ponytail, thinking it made him look more like a cool action hero. They had also turned on Lars’ tape player, which Ronaldo had found on the floor outside his room for some reason, to help them focus.  
  
“So the main hole in the plans we’ve come up with so far,” he thought out loud, “is finding out where Aquamarine and Emerald took him.”  
  
“I assume they went straight to the Diamonds,” Blue commented.  
  
“But where?” Yellow cut in. “The Diamonds are all over the place doing all sorts of work! Sure they would be able to track the Diamonds, but we can’t find out without showing our faces to them and immediately being shattered.”  
  
“Hmmmmmm…” Ronaldo scratched his chin, and his face suddenly lit up. “Aha! Topaz!”  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“Do you have any way to track Aquamarine’s ship on this thing?”  
  
“Well,” the fusion screwed up her face while thinking, “it might take me a while to remember what we have to plug in. I’m bad with numbers. Sorry.”  
  
“No need to apologize,” the human assured her. “Now we’re getting somewhere!”  
  
“But can she think of the number fast enough?” Rhodonite worried. “We don’t exactly have all the time in the galaxy right now!”  
  
“ _Just  give  her  a  few  minutes,_ ” Fluorite reassured the panicking fusion.  
  
While Topaz was racking her mind to remember the number, Padparadscha tugged on Ronaldo’s shirt. “Ronaldo! I’ve had a vision!”  
  
“It’s okay, Padparadscha,” he told her, ruffling her hair playfully, “we know Topaz can track the ship if she can remember a number or something.”  
  
“No!” the Sapphire corrected him. “Aquamarine and the Citrines have betrayed Emerald! She got thrown in the cell with Lars! Oh dear, they both don’t look very happy about it...”  
  
“Ah, yes, that, thank y-wait what!?!” Ronaldo glanced at the crew, and they all shared surprised and excited looks with one another. “She can still predict things that happen to Lars!”  
  
“Oh my stars!” Blue gasped. “Why didn’t any of us think of that?”  
  
Everyone focused on the small orange gem, waiting a few minutes in anticipation before she opened her mouth once more. “I have received yet another vision!”

“What is it?!” Ronaldo exclaimed.

“I predict Lars will escape from the imperial ship using his portal creation abilities and retreat to the prison planet!”

The whole crew gasped happily, and Ronaldo sighed of relief.

Padparadscha held her finger up. “But... _with Emerald!_ ”

 

_Chain keep us together_

_Running in the shadow_

_Chain keep us together_

_Running in the shadow_


	16. Asleep

**  
** _  
_ _Don't feel bad for me_ _  
_ _I want you to know_ _  
_ _Deep in the cell of my heart_ _  
_ _I will feel so glad to go..._ _  
  
_

Ronaldo immediately shut the tape off, shaking his head. “This is supposed to be a fun, exciting breakout mission! I can’t listen to this!”

“I thought it was pretty,” Topaz mumbled from her seat as the ship neared closer to the prison planet.

“We can listen to it after we save Lars,” Ronaldo assured her, sitting in the captain’s chair, having taken over the position in the meantime. “For now, you can all listen to my invigorating spirit-rising speech as quoted from Koala Princess, Episode 357! Ahem,” he began, but Blue cut him off.  
  
“I don’t think there’s time for that…”   
  
She pointed out the window, urging Ronaldo to look in that direction. The familiar foreboding scenery made everyone in the crew fidget uncomfortably, except for Padparadscha who would probably do so in a minute or two.   
  
“We’re here,” Ronaldo spoke, heartbeat accelerating as he realized how close they were to what was possibly the most dangerous task any of them ever had to pull off.

* * *

“So why can’t you just scream us another portal right now?” Emerald grumbled as she followed Lars, both speed-walking as far away from the entrance of the prison as they could.

“Well, geeze, maybe because I don’t have a complete grip on my powers and would rather get us an escape route with a safe destination instead of in the depths of space or in a black hole.” He threw his hands up. “And the farther away we get from that hell tower, the less dying you do and the less...not-dying I have to do.”

“And do you have any idea of what a “safe” destination for us would be?”

“No. Do you, Oh Wise One?” He looked at her with sharp cynicism. “I mean, you’re more familiar with this galaxy than I am.”

“Well, not the prison planet. Until you caused havoc in my life, I’ve had no need to be in this part of the universe.”

Lars kicked at a rock, sighing. “Well, I suppose we just keep walking until we find some other facility we can call for help from and-” He felt a sudden vibration underneath his boots, frowning. “Do you feel that?”

“It’s probably just the tunnel system this planet has,” Emerald told him, rolling her eyes.

“Tunnel system?”

“For the prison guards to travel through,” she spoke snottily. “It’s a prison planet. What do you expect to be here? Not-Prisons?”

“So this whole _planet_ is a prison?” Lars’ eyes went wide, almost in horror at the realization of how dire this situation was. No wonder Rhodonite was so afraid. It was a whole planet _devoted_ to punishing innocent gems.

“Uh, that’s what I just-”

She was cut off by an arm bursting from the ground below her, grabbing her by the leg. Another followed, tightly grasping the other, and she cried out in surprise.

“Emerald!” Lars yelped, running over and trying to yank the arms that were pulling her down into the ground. “Let her go!”

Instead of the arms letting her go, they simply yanked harder, and she grabbed at Lars, pulling him down with her. Afterwards, all was dark.

* * *

“Are you sure this is the best way to go about finding him?” Yellow called to Ronaldo.

“Shhhh!” he hushed her, not wanting to make too much noise in case someone heard them.

Once they’d arrived on the planet, Ronaldo had ordered the Rutiles to park by the gas station. They did as he'd asked, and the crew decided to retrace their steps from their last visit, assuming that Lars and Emerald would be in a familiar location. Rhodonite and Fluorite had stayed behind to watch the ship since being on the planet made Rhodonite uncomfortable, and Fluorite was scared she would get the crew caught due to her inability to hide in small spaces.

A sudden violent rumbling from underneath their feet startled them, and they tried hard not to jump too high out of shock. “What was that!?!” Ronaldo whispered frantically.

“Sodalites going through the tunnel system,” Blue informed him. “We need to take small, quiet steps.”

“Okay. That should be eas-AH!!!” Ronaldo suddenly called out in pain, causing everyone to shush him.

“Are you trying to get us all shattered!?!” Blue snapped under her breath, cracking under the pressure.

“No, I stepped in this damn hole and nearly twisted my ankle!” He grasped his aching ankle to make sure it was okay.

That was when Ronaldo noticed the marks near the hole’s entrance, which looked as if they were left behind from fingers gripping the silt while someone was being pulled underground. The Zircons spotted them too and bent down to study the strange imprints. Once they’d put the puzzle pieces together in their heads, the three exchanged glances.

“You don't think…” Yellow began but was soon cut off by Padparadscha’s hushed voice.

“Everyone! I had another vision, and we must act quickly! The Sodalites have pulled Lars and Emerald underground and are taking them somewhere!”

A brave smirk appeared on Ronaldo’s face at the news. “Well, there we have it. Nice work, Padparadscha!” He gave the Sapphire a thumbs up.  
  
“So are we just gonna jump down that hole all willy nilly with no concern for what might be in there?” Blue fretted, grabbing onto Yellow’s arm for security.   
  
“Eh, why not?” Ronaldo shrugged and began to position his legs above the hole’s entrance. “As Lars would say...bingo mother fuckin’ bongo.” After repeating the captain’s catchphrase with a wild look in his eyes, the human motioned for the others to follow before plunging himself down the hole.

* * *

“We’ll leave you in here until Moss Agate decides what to do with you,” a Sodalite grumbled, throwing Lars and Emerald into a dark room and leaving without another word.

“Well, thanks for nothing!” Emerald snarled at Lars in the pitch black room.

“Oh, sure blame me!” he snapped back. “You could have told me earlier this place was crawling with tunnels!”

“Well I didn’t know that was going to happen!” She groaned in exasperation. “And where even are you anyway? It sounds like your voice is getting smaller.”

“I’m trying to find a door!” He felt around the room, unable to see a single thing.

“It’s gem technology. A door isn’t going to appear just by pushing a button,” she snorted, leaning against the wall and accidentally pushing a button.

Immediately, the floor was illuminated a bright yellow-green, multiple golden bubbles floating in midair, and Lars looked all around, amazed at how many there were. The first time he’d been in a room like this in the prison, there was nowhere near as many bubbles as there were now.

“I think I’ve been in this room before,” Lars spoke, rubbing his shoulder uncomfortably. “Back when I freed the Zircons….”

“I doubt it,” Emerald muttered, walking over to him. “There’s thousands of rooms like this, probably even more. I might not know much about this planet, but this is how most gem prisons work."

“You think any of these gems here might know a way out?” Lars frowned, grabbing for a bubble.

“Hey! What are you doing?! Those are prisoners! Guards!!! GUARDS!!!” she screeched. “HE’S TRYING TO-”

Lars swatted wildly in the air, then slapped a hand over her mouth. “We’re on the same side you idiot!!! They’ll just grab you too, and-”

A loud alarm rang through the room, and lights flashed through the room, allowing Lars to see just how big the whole thing was, at least as big as a football stadium. “Damnit!” he cursed and dropped the bubbles he was holding, letting them burst as he tried to find a way to silence the alarm. “Help me shut this thing up!”

“You’re just going to free all these prisoners!?!”

“It’s either that or we both spend the rest of our miserable rotten lives in here alone, which sounds better?”

She stiffened up in thought, then growled to herself, storming over to help him try to find a control to disable the alarm. Unbeknownst to either of them, three of the gems Lars had freed were already starting to reform.

“Wh-what’s going on?” an Ocean Jasper suddenly spoke up. “Wh-who are you?!”

Lars turned around. “The guy who’s gonna get you outta here! Start unbubbling some more gems!”

“B-But-”

“It’ll be okay!” he assured her. He then pointed to two Rubies who had appeared beside her. “Oi! You guys follow her example and get more of these bubbles popped!”

As more and more bubbles were burst and more and more gems reformed, the crowd getting bigger and wilder, Emerald was still swatting at the wall, trying to find a button. She suddenly grinned wildly. “I can’t find the alarm, but I think I found the-”

A door suddenly opened, revealing several Sodalites, all glaring furiously.

“...Door.”

“ATTACK!!!” a defective orange Pearl screeched, holding a Carnelian’s hand as they joined the furious throng of prisoner gems to fight against the Sodalite guards.  
  
While the guards were left trying and failing to control the situation and subdue the gems, Lars yanked Emerald by the arm, pulling her out of the room and down a hallway to try to find an exit.

“I can’t believe you freed an entire cell of prisoners!” she shrieked, almost enraged and disgusted.

“I know! Really cool right?!”

* * *

“Are you sure they came down here?” Blue whispered, starting to doubt that they’d found the way to their missing friend after all. “It just feels like we’ve been going around in circles!”  
  
“Padparadscha said so,” one of the Rutiles replied in a hushed tone.   
  
“A Sapphire is never wrong, no matter how late her prediction may be,” the other informed.   
  
“But we’ve passed that warp pad back there at least three times,” Yellow grumbled. “Gah, this underground prison system is so frustrating! Doesn’t help that our gems are on the line here!”   
  
“Shhhhh!” Ronaldo whipped around to hush them.   
  
“We weren’t even talking that loud!” Yellow snapped, still keeping her voice as quiet as possible. “Are _you_ , out of all of us, insinuating that I can’t keep quiet? I’ll have you know th-”   
  
“No. I hear something.”   
  
A loud rumble could be heard in the distance, shaking the ground beneath them as if a large hoard of something was quickly approaching. The crewmates exchanged worried glances with one another as they felt the supposed stampede getting closer and closer.   
  
“Do you think it’s just the tunnel system?” Blue asked, smiling nervously and hoping she was right.   
  
The noise grew louder and several shouts and screams could be heard as well.   
  
“Yeah no, that’s definitely not the tunnel system!”   
  
“What are we waiting for!?” Yellow screeched, returning to a normal volume. “Let’s get ourselves out of here!!!”   
  
She turned to run, but Ronaldo grabbed her by the arm. A familiar voice could be heard over the rest of the commotion.   
  
“Wait...I think I hear-”   
  
“NOW RUN TO THE NEAREST WARP PAD!!!”   
  
The chorus of activity was deafeningly loud now, and soon they saw the source: a huge crowd of all sorts of gems stampeding in their direction, being led by none other than Lars himself, who was dragging a rather disgruntled Emerald by her arm.   
  
“Lars!” Ronaldo gasped, forgetting all about their current state as he saw the brave captain running toward him with all of those gems flooding out of the prisons behind him. It looked exactly like something out of the many action movies (and animes) he’d watched: a courageous hero, leading many unfairly imprisoned individuals to their well-deserved freedom.   
  
“It’s Lars!” Blue yelled in delight, turning her head to tell the other Off-Colors. “Lars is back! He’s okay!”   
  
“I don’t believe it!” Yellow gasped in reaction to both Lars appearing right in front of them and the large stream of gems running behind him.   
  
Once he saw who was in front of him, Lars stopped abruptly, almost getting run over by the gems who came to a halt behind him. He stood there for a few seconds, making eye contact with Ronaldo. As the two stared into each other’s eyes, mere seconds before thinking they’d never get to see one another again, the hard feelings between them seemed to melt away, and the previous love they’d felt for one another blossomed back in their hearts, now stronger than ever   
  
“Guys!!!” Lars cheered, suddenly running as fast as he could to his crew.   
  
“Lars!!!” Ronaldo called again, meeting him halfway and instantly pulling him into a well-needed hug. The other returned it, squeezing him back tighter than he ever had and soaking in every moment of what he’d been missing.   
  
“I thought I’d never get to see you again,” Lars whimpered, voice cracking as he buried his face into Ronaldo’s shoulder.   
  
“I know,” the human replied, rubbing his back. “Me too...”   
  
“I’m so sorry,” he started to apologize, still clinging to the hug. “I should have just told you what was wrong to begin with and went from there instead of breaking up with you.”   
  
“Hey, I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have yelled at you and said all those awful things that aren’t even true.”   
  
“Um, excuse me!” Emerald’s shrill voice piped up as she grabbed Lars’ cape and tried to pry him away from Ronaldo’s warm embrace. “This is all very disgusting and heartwarming, but we’re kind of trying to pull a massive jailbreak here!”   
  
Realizing she was right, as much as he hated to admit it, the captain reluctantly let go of Ronaldo. “Yeah, we should get out of here. Have any of you seen a warp pad nearby?”   
  
“Ohhhh, you have no idea!” Yellow complained, not fully understanding the context of the questions. “We passed that thing so many times trying to find you, I’ve just about lost count!”   
  
“I’ll lead the way,” Ronaldo offered, grabbing Lars’ hand and squeezing it tightly, as if he’d lose him again if he let go. “C’mon guys!”   
  
“Wait a second,” Blue interjected, “I’m all for getting out of here as soon as possible, but who are _they?_ ” She pointed frantically to the several gems crowding behind Lars. “Isn’t anyone gonna point them out?”   
  
“There’s not time to explain, but they’re with us!” he informed her, already taking off with Ronaldo. “Just make sure all of them get on the ship!”   
  
“Fair enough,” sighed Blue, following her crewmates.   
  
“Don’t worry about it,” Yellow laughed, falling in behind her as they fled for the warp pad. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned about life around here, it’s to not question anything and just let it happen.” The other Zircon smiled at her humor, something she desperately needed to keep her from freaking out right now.   
  
“Lars is coming!” Padparadscha informed everyone. “And he’s brought a lot of gems with him!”   
  
“Thanks, Padparadscha!” almost the entire crew replied to her prediction.

Once Lars’ primary crew and Emerald had stepped onto the warp pad, he glanced back to the crowd of gems behind him. “You guys still sticking with us?”

“We’ll follow you out!” a Tiger’s Eye at the front of the hoard assured. “Go already!”

Giving a thumbs up, he activated the warp pad, bracing himself for the experience. Emerald and the rest of the gems all glanced at Lars and Ronaldo as the two screamed like they were on some crazy thrill ride.

“Are you alright, captain?” one of the Rutiles asked, calm as a lake at dawn.

“I CAN’T FEEL MY LIPS!!!” Lars yelled as he clung onto Ronaldo, convinced the warp experience would someday result in him having a permanently jumbled brain. Ronaldo added to this with an incoherent screech.

“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.” Emerald rubbed her forehead. If she got out of this alive, she would never tell anyone about it. _Ever_. Not even if she was tortured into it.

Just before they’d reached their destination, Lars and Ronaldo managed to stop screaming and stand up straight like the rest of the crew, the former grinning as he felt his feet touch a surface. “We’re gonna make it!!” he cheered.

Immediately as the light disappeared, his smile dropped as he saw the devilish grin of the blue gem in front of him.

“Criminy,” he cursed under his breath, more exasperated than anything else.

“I should have known you’d plot some sort of escape.” Aquamarine flitted around him tauntingly. “I have to admit, it was pretty vexing seeing you get off the ship. But no matter, now that I have all of you in one spot and terribly outnumbered,” she gestured to the army of Sodalites and Citrines surrounding the warp pad, “I’d say now would be a good time for you to surrender again.”

Lars swallowed back his nervousness, then gave as confident of a smirk as he could. “I wouldn’t count on you outnumbering us just now,” he warned her, stepping off the platform with his crew following suit. Almost immediately, the warp pad activated again, and all at once, the gems he’d rescued erupted like a wave over the platform and rushed upon the guards.

“What’s the meaning of this!?” Aquamarine snapped, stamping her foot midair like a fussy child and flew above the crowd to see just how many prisoners there were. She wouldn’t bother counting, just too many. Narrowing her eyes, she kept her sight on the blighted space captain she couldn’t wait to capture, seeing him and his crew rushing through the madness to escape.

“Twins! Take Padparadscha and Topaz back to the ship with you, and get it moving!” Lars called to them, noticing they were all bunched together in the rioting crowd.

“Right!” they cried out, hurrying in that direction.

Lars told everyone to follow him out of the crowd, but he lost sight of the Zircons as he grabbed for Ronaldo’s arm. “Go with them! I don’t want you getting hurt.”  
  
“No!” Ronaldo protested. “I can’t just leave you here to fight her alone!”   
  
“Ronaldo, she’ll wipe the floor with your body,” Lars spoke very seriously. “It’ll be safer if you go back to the ship.”   
  
“Then who’s gonna help you?”

“Don’t forget me!” Emerald shouted, swatting off a defective Peridot. “Stop biting me you little bloodsucker, I’m on your side! _Technically!!!_ ”   
  
The human looked to Emerald and then back at Lars. “Are you sure she’s the best battle partner?”   
  
“She’s harder to kill than you,” Lars half-joked, giving Ronaldo a parting kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be fine, okay? Just make sure the others are safe, and I’ll join you once I’ve dealt with the unidentified flying gremlin over here.”   
  
Unable to stop himself from laughing at Lars’ nickname for Aquamarine and blushing at the feeling of his lips pressing against his cheek, Ronaldo nodded in agreement and ran after the Off-Colors.

Aquamarine, who had been keeping an eye on them, whistled to her most favorite of the Citrines. “Forget the prisoners. The Sodalites should have that covered. Go after the pirates,” she ordered them, before flying back up. “I’ll deal with the captain _myself_ …”

* * *

 

Ronaldo hurried along with Topaz, Padparadscha and the Rutiles, all of them trying their hardest to make sure every gem got on the ship safely and as orderly as they possibly could while Lars and Emerald were dealing with Aquamarine. Fluorite and Rhodonite were getting them settled inside once they’d entered the ship. It was going well so far, but as the last escaped prisoners were boarded, a shrill scream came from the Rutiles.

  
Frantically, Ronaldo turned to see three Citrines circling their ship, each one restraining Padparadscha, the Rutiles and Topaz respectively. Although Padparadscha hadn’t realized what was happening to her yet, the twins and Topaz were struggling to break free to no avail.   
  
“R-Ronaldo!” Topaz called to the human with fear in her eyes.   
  
Frozen with uncertainty on how to go about fighting them, a fourth Citrine seemed to appear out of nowhere, edging toward him. Ronaldo shut his eyes, preparing for the worst.   
  
However, before he could feel himself being scooped up in the gem’s clutches, a deafening roar sounded from behind him, causing him to jump and turn backwards to determine the source. Standing menacingly at the ship’s entrance and looking more pissed off than he’d ever seen her in his life was Fluorite with Rhodonite sitting on her back, looking equally ready to tear someone apart.   
  
“You might wanna think twice before you mess with the Off-Colors, you dirty scoundrels!” she yelled confidentially. “Fluorite, attack!”   
  
The Citrines, eyes nearly popping out of their heads in terror, dropped the gems they were restraining and ran as fast as they could, nearly falling over one another as they hurriedly fled the scene.   
  
“Yeah, you’d better run!” Rhodonite called after them, jumping down from Fluorite and helping her crewmates up with Ronaldo’s assistance.   
  
“That was amazing, you guys!” Ronaldo complimented their performance.   
  
“Aw, it was nothing,” Rhodonite blushed, laughing humbly.   
  
“ _They  got  what  was  coming  to  them,_ ” Fluorite stated with a slow nod of her head, going from enraged to calmer than ever in a matter of seconds.   
  
“They’ve got us!” Padparadscha suddenly shrieked. “Help! Heeelp!!!”   
  
Their celebration was cut short when a sinking feeling in Ronaldo’s gut alerted him to the fact that they were two crew members short.   
  
“Wait! Did anyone see the Zircons get on the ship?”   
  
The gathering gems looked at one another, but none of them seemed to have an answer. The human turned and instantly bolted back onto the battlefield upon the realization that they were still out there, not even staying around for any possible pleas he do otherwise.

* * *

Among the commotion of fleeing prisoners and Citrines and Sodalites attempting to fight them off, the Zircons had lost themselves. They tried their hardest to stay hidden from any rival gems that might find them while searching for the ship. Unfortunately, that didn’t go too well for them.

  
Almost as soon as they’d been lost, a group of Sodalites had found them. They did their best to outrun them and were currently crouching behind a large ledge near the entrance of the prison, knowing they’d be caught if they so much as breathed too loud. Yellow was trying her hardest to keep a quiet lookout to see when the coast was clear but was startled by a loud noise from Blue.  
  
“Blue!” she hissed in a whisper. “We need to keep qui-” She paused as she realized that the noise she was heard was sniffling and saw Blue, hugging her knees tightly as she quivered in fear, tears running down her face. Her frustrated expression softened greatly upon this discovery. “B-Blue?”  
  
“Th-they’re gonna find us,” the crying Zircon whimpered as softly as she could. “I should have listened to you and not come on this mission. We’re not cut out for this stuff, Yellow! We’re Zircons…” She bit her lip, trying to fight back more tears. “We can’t fight and some of us can’t pilot ships, and we’re just...useless in a battle, especially me...and now you’re gonna get shattered because of me and there’s nothing I can do to stop it!” She looked up at Yellow with distress in her eyes as the final sentence spilled from her.  
  
Still trying to keep her voice down, Yellow took a hold of Blue’s shoulders, making her keep eye contact as she spoke. “Hey, listen to me, Blue. The smartest Zircon in the galaxy told me just a few moments ago that we could do this. And even if she doesn’t believe that now, she’s got the idea hammered into my head because of how stubborn she was about coming on this blasted rescue mission.”  
  
Blue’s eyes lit up once she understood what Yellow was saying to her and dark blue blush spread across her face. “But Y-Yellow…”  
  
“Don’t “but Yellow” me! You talked me into this and put me up to the challenge of winning, and you know all too well that I never back down from a challenge.” She reached a hand up to touch the other Zircon’s face, running her thumb across her cheek to wipe a tear from it. “Especially not one from the likes of you.”  
  
Her motivational words managed to get a wide smile out of Blue, and tearing up again from the impact Yellow’s speech left, she wrapped her arms around the gem next to her and pulled her into a tight hug. Once Yellow’s mind had registered what was happening, she returned it and pulled Blue closer, shutting her eyes. It made her feel calmer than she ever thought she could feel when they were seconds away from their possible shattering.  
  
“I’ll take your word for it, then,” Blue spoke in the embrace, still sniffling. “But I still think we’d have to be as big and strong as they are to take them all out.”  
  
Yellow giggled at her comment to start with, but her eyes abruptly grew wide as an idea popped into her head based on what the other had said.  
  
“Blue…”  
  
“Hmmm?”  
  
“You know...we can be just as big and strong as they are if we want to.”  
  
On the other side of the ledge they’d taken shelter behind, four Sodalite guards had picked up on noises coming from behind it and were readying to investigate. They surrounded the structure and were leaning to peak over it when a sudden blast of light took them completely by surprise. The prison guards soon found themselves faced with a much bigger and greener version of the two gems they’d sought out, looking them over with a cocky smile on her face.  
  
“Hello, Sodalites!” Green Zircon greeted the guards mockingly.  
  
“They fused!” one of the Sodalites called to the others. “Ready your weapons!” Each of the surrounding Sodalites pulled their weapons from their gems, every one of them wielding a giant gun once they’d done so, and began to shoot arrows at the Zircon fusion.  
  
“Whoa!” Green Zircon gasped in shock, dodging the first few arrows before grabbing for her two gems. “Nice ones! Now let’s see what I’ve got...hmmmmm…” The fusion summoned her weapon for the first time, which happened to be a large gavel, and smiled in pleasant surprise. “Aha! A gavel! Not bad, if I must say so myself.”  
  
Holding the gavel above her head, Green Zircon continued to dodge the arrows flung at her by the opposing Sodalites. One of the guards attempted to pierce the fusion’s two gems, seeing that they were both just a tiny bit above one another. Acting in defense, the Zircon fusion took her gavel and hit the arrow, causing it to ricochet backwards and strike the Sodalite who had shot it through the abdomen.   
  
She screamed in shock and pain as her form exploded, and she retreated back into her gem for recovery. Letting out a noise of horror, one of the other Sodalites, presumably her work partner, took her gem and picked it up, running away with it as quickly as she could. Not wanting to meet the same fate, the other Sodalites took note of this and followed their comrade with one last glare at the fusion.   
  
“And there you have it,” Green Zircon announced, triumphantly spinning her gavel around to prop it on her shoulder. “Case closed!”  
  
Her moment of victory was halted when a deep throaty laugh behind her caught her attention. She pivoted to find herself face to face with a large Sodalite fusion, equal in size to her. Trying hard to keep herself together, Green Zircon readied her gavel.  
  
“Are you ready t-to...to...uhhhh...o-oh no...Blue? What are y-” The fusion gulped and tried to steady herself, noticing that everything was starting to blur. Something was going on.  
  
“B-Blue!” Green Zircon managed to squeak out before her form split apart, leaving her two counterparts on the ground in front of the Sodalite fusion.  
  
Yellow coughed as her body collided with the planet’s rockiness. “Urgh,” she choked out, getting to her feet and immediately turning to the gem next to her. “Blue! C’mon, let’s fuse again! We can take her!”  
  
However, Blue wasn’t going anywhere or doing anything. She hadn’t even been able to get up from the ground yet. All she could do was lay there and shake, eyes focused on nothing but the gem towering in front of them. She was completely frozen with fear.  
  
“Blue!” Yellow tried her best to snap her out of it, but it was no use.  
  
The Sodalite fusion let out another maniacal laugh, pulling her weapon from her gems, the same large taser that the one who had previously poofed Yellow carried. “Looks like I don’t even have to destabilize you then, huh? Thanks for making my job a whole lot easier.”  
  
As the fusion approached Blue, she tried her hardest to stand and re-fuse with Yellow, but her feet wouldn’t move. All she could do was internally panic as the moment in which she’d been poofed by a similar Sodalite fusion before being taken to the prison for her inevitable shattering played in her mind over and over again. There was nothing she could do. It was going to happen again. Preparing to feel the taser’s current electrify her body and destroy her form once more, Blue Zircon tightly shut her eyes and braced herself for the impact.  
  
“ _NO!!!_ ”   
  
Her eyes shot back open when she heard Yellow Zircon scream at the top of her lungs as the Sodalite fusion readied the taser to collide with her gem. Acting in Blue’s defense, Yellow lunged in front of the weapon just in time, and she watched in pure terror as the gem was met with a painful shock that was meant for her.  
  
“Y-YELLOW!!!” Blue choked out, digging her fingers into the ground underneath her and snapping out of her panic at the horrific sight.  
  
As her body convulsed with the taser’s current, Yellow turned around to give Blue one last smile before her form could no longer handle the shock and withdrew into nothing but a small, square-cut gemstone. Reaching out before it had a chance to hit the ground, Blue caught it in her hands and instantly looked down at it.  
  
“Y-Yellow…” she whimpered, the situation still processing in her head. Although she knew the wounded Zircon would be fine, something about watching someone she had grown to love and care so deeply about, despite how she previously would have pushed her in harm’s way given the chance, _take a bullet for her_ made a knot form in her throat. For a while, she was frozen once more, only able to stare at the yellow gem she held in her palms.  
  
The Sodalite fusion cackled, readying her taser to strike her intended victim. “One down, one to g-OOF!”  
  
The larger gem was cut off as Blue’s clenched fist came flying into her face and collided with her jaw, causing her to stumble backward. The punch itself didn’t do much harm to the gem, but it did take her off guard and cause her to lose her footing, trying her best to stay balanced with her hands flailing frantically. In the process of steadying herself, the Sodalite fusion momentarily forgot the taser she held and, in an attempt to grab her arm, accidentally pressed it hard against one of her gems, which was located just above her shoulder. The same electric current that had passed through Yellow when she stood in front of Blue was now coursing through the form of the gem who had done it to her, causing the fusion to cry out in pain until her form disappeared as well and two triangular-cut, indigo gems replaced it.   
  
Blue watched with a blank expression as her enemy was defeated, still protectively clutching Yellow’s gem in her hand. Once she was sure the Sodalite fusion had destabilized and poofed, the Zircon turned her attention back to it.   
  
“Oh Yellow…” she whispered to the gemstone, running a finger over it comfortingly. Tears began to form in the corner of her eyes once more, and she clutched the gem close to her body, pretending she was embracing the one who had thrown herself in harm’s way to make sure she was safe.   
  
“Blue!” A worried voice interrupted her, causing her to spin around in panic and hold onto the gemstone tighter in fear that more Sodalites had come for her. She was pleasantly surprised to find herself facing Ronaldo.  
  
“It’s okay, it’s just me,” the human spoke comfortingly, gripping her arm gently and glancing around the area she’d been standing in. “Wait, where’s Yellow?”  
  
Taking a deep breath to keep herself from breaking down in front of her dear friend, she simply held her cupped hand toward him and uncurled her fingers around the Zircon gem she held.   
  
Once what had happened sunk in, Ronaldo’s mouth curled down into a solemn frown. “Oh...oh no…”  
  
Knowing they didn’t have enough time to go over everything that happened right then and there, Blue urged Ronaldo to move toward the ship. “She’ll be fine.” The human nodded, taking Blue Zircon’s free hand so they wouldn’t get separated again while she clutched her saviour’s gemstone in the other as tightly and securely as she possibly could.  
  
Once they’d boarded the ship, Ronaldo collapsed in relief. “Oh god, that was probably the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.”

“Ditto,” Blue mumbled, still holding tightly onto Yellow’s gem as if it would shatter if she even put it down gently.

“Where’s the captain?” Rhodonite suddenly spoke up, noticing Lars hadn’t followed Ronaldo on board. “Shouldn’t he be here by now?”

Ronaldo immediately felt a rock sink into his stomach and whipped his head around to look out the hatch of the ship, seeing the smoke and flashes of what he could only guess were explosive blasts happening out of the corner of his eye.

 _Oh please let that be a sign Lars is winning,_ he thought nervously to himself, suddenly running out of the ship in spite of what Lars had told him to do and the protests of the gems he’d just helped rescue.

* * *

 

Lars skidded against the ground as he exited the mini portal he’d created to avoid the blasts from Aquamarine’s wand, finally having figured out how to at least transport himself a handful of feet away, which was quickly frustrating the Homeworld gem.

“You really are a couple of pests aren’t you?!” the little gremlin snarled, flitting about wildly as she haphazardly fired her wand at the reanimated pink abomination and the traitorous Emerald. She’d not realized the latter’s weapon, a large dagger, was capable of reflecting off the beams she was shooting at them, and it was becoming a large point of frustration. Chasing them into an abandoned, crumbling wing of the prison had been easy. It was basically a gaping hole of dilapidated construction and support beams ready to fall. But actually disposing of them had long stopped being a fun challenge and had become more of an annoyance. At this point, she didn’t even care if Lars got to the Diamonds. She just wanted him _dead_.

“ _Stop working together!!!_ It’s disgusting!” she yelled at them, which made Emerald laugh uproariously.

“Is Aquamawine getting pissy?” Lars baby-talked to her in a taunting manner. “She can’t even take down one of us!” He cackled as he leaned against a pillar.

“Well, of course she can’t!” Emerald walked in a slow, dramatic circle around the furious flying gem. “We’re just sooo much smarter than she is!”

Aquamarine gave a few ragingly deep breaths. “If you were so smart, you’d have figured out a way to escape me by now, but instead, you ran out here to hide!!”

“Oh?” Lars gave a fake-surprised look, walking over to his temporary ally. “Say, Emerald, did you have any idea we were supposed to be _hiding_?”

“Why, I had _no_ idea!” Emerald spoke with the same sarcastic tone, standing right out in the open beside Lars. “We must be _terrible_ at it!”

“STOP THIS AT ONCE!!!” Aquamarine almost chomped down on her own wand in frustration. “YOU’LL BE SORRY FOR MOCKING ME!!!”

“Oh no, she’s gonna yell at us more! I’m shaking in my boots!” Lars waved his hands. “Watch out, we’re gonna get prissy-slapped by a flying zygote!”

“AHAHAHA YES, A FLYING... what?” Emerald looked slightly confused at the word.

Aquamarine was ready to scream at them even more when another loud voice cut her off. “Lars!!”

Turning his head, Lars suddenly broke face. “Ronaldo! What are you doing here? Get back to the ship! I’ve got this under control!”

“I can’t just leave you out here!” the human insisted, running a hand through one of the loose curls that had refused to stay tied back. “Please, just let me help you!”

Lars tried to look reassuring. “It’s gonna be okay! I’m not going anywhere!” He gave a nervously awkward smile as he blushed. “You just got me back. You aren’t gonna lose me again that soon, okay?”

Ronaldo gulped, trying to ease his nervousness as he felt his face grow warm, and he gave a hesitant nod and genuine smile at Lars’ reassurance. There were things he really wanted to say right about now, but he knew it wasn’t the time.

“That’s disgustingly adorable,” Emerald muttered, face flushed but looking incredibly repulsed by it.

Aquamarine had been silently seething at the three and raised her furiously glowing wand. “YES! HOW _PERFECTLY_ AND _UTTERLY_ ADORABLE! NOW JUST _DIE!!!!_ ”

Having charged up this particular blast as much as she could manage, the recoil sent her backward, almost into a pillar. Emerald jolted into action, reflecting the significantly intense beam with her weapon, but it still had enough force to knock herself over as it ricocheted at an upward angle, almost grazing Aquamarine. In less than a second, a large flash and explosion of light and smoke shook the ground below them all.

Lars had seen the explosion and suddenly went rigid, his mind flashing back to his final, fear-filled moments of his purely human existence, as well as waking up into this whole identity crisis he’d gotten used to. It left him frozen with terror, unable to move out of the crumbling structure’s path.

Emerald had seen the pillar starting to fall, stepping out of the way quickly, and glanced over to her rival, seeing him petrified and staring up at the disaster as it was starting to topple in his direction. “YOU IDIOT, _MOVE!!!_ ” she screeched at him, but he didn’t seem to hear her.

Aquamarine had been boasting about her close call from the blast nearly hitting her, unaware until a split second before that she was right in the path of the falling pillar’s destruction and screamed pitifully as it knocked her unceremoniously to the ground with some debris.

Ronaldo had seen the expression of pure fear on Lars’ face and didn’t even think to look at what had caused it. He only ran to put a stop to it, screaming his name as he shoved him as hard as he possibly could out of the way, knocking him to the ground several feet away.

There was a deafening noise. Then silence.

* * *

 

Lars had regained his senses several seconds later as he heard faint music coming from his tape player, crawling onto all fours and sitting up slowly as the dust from the collapsed pillar had disappeared.

He looked in the direction of the noise of furious coughing, seeing a disheveled and dirtied Aquamarine pulling herself up from a pile of rubble. She looked around with manic glee, laughing. “I’m alive! Take that you ugly off-colored pests! _NOW I CAN DESTROY YOU ONCE AND FOR-_ ” She held up what was left of her wand, only to realize with a horrified gasp that it had been completely and utterly demolished from the collapse and screamed in horror. “My wand! My beautiful wand!!! It was state of the art!!! Without it, I’m just a-”

She suddenly felt a tight grip around her little neck, and she was plastered against a large piece of the ruins, left face to face with a deviously grinning Emerald. “E-Emmie, dear!” The now powerless blue gem grinned nervously. “I’m honestly so relieved to see you’re unharmed and-”

Emerald cut her off. “How’s it feel to be useless without an actual gem weapon, you pathetic little pipsqueak? You are going to look so great _tied to the front of my ship_.” And without even checking to see if Lars was unharmed, she sauntered off to go collect her stolen ship and add a new decoration to it, tucking the protesting Aquamarine underneath her arm.

Lars watched his rival wander off and tried to clear his head of what had exactly happened, remembering just then that Ronaldo had been there and glanced around to see if he could find him.   
  
“Ronaldo?” He called for him, but once Aquamarine’s shrill voice could no longer be heard, was met with only silence save for the faint music from his tape player. Why was it going off anyway?

And then he saw the mass under the thickest crush of the pillar, and his blood ran cold.

He’d not even realized Ronaldo had been keeping the tape player in his pocket. It seemed like a miracle it hadn’t been shattered or flattened underneath the fallen wreckage and instead lay a short distance away, only covered in a slight powder of dust next to a pair of shattered eyeglasses.

Lars had screamed the other’s name as he ran over, heart pounding two beats faster as he struggled to push the pillar off the other’s crushed body. He panted through gritted teeth as he finally rolled half of the heavy weight away and used the rest of his strength to drag Ronaldo out from underneath it.

“Oh god, oh god...” Lars was struggling to breathe and think, his whole body shaking as he held the other up in his arms. Everything in his chest felt like it was being torn out as he realized that Ronaldo wasn’t moving, dirtied and mangled with a slow trickle of blood beading down from a deep cut that split open on his jawline.

“Ronaldo?” Lars shook him, trying in vain to wake him up but too afraid to listen for a heartbeat. “Ronaldo!” he shouted, before letting the other flop back in his arms as he cradled him weakly, fraily stuttering.   
  
“.... _Ronnie?_ ”

Ronaldo couldn’t move, but he did manage to tilt his head to face Lars, unable to open his eyes beyond a sliver. And he smiled very weakly. For only an instant.

And then he was gone.

“Ronnie!?” Lars repeated frantically. “Ronnie, c’mon man! You’re scaring me…”  
  
Resorting to the one thing he was too afraid to do, Lars leaned his head down so it was level with Ronaldo’s heart to listen for it beating. He waited a few seconds before his greatest fear in the world was confirmed: nothing.  
  
He slowly moved back to where he was staring down at the human’s lifeless body, feeling weak and dizzy from the sight and his stomach knotting up to the point where he felt so nauseous that he expected to pass out.   
  
“Lars!” Blue Zircon alerted him from behind. “We saw that explosion and came as fast as we could! Are you okay? Where’s Ronaldo?”   
  
Not even having enough energy to face the rest of his crew, let alone speak, Lars was silent and kept his frightened eyes locked on the body he held in his arms, his brain not even knowing how to process what was happening.   
  
Blue was the first to see him. At first, she assumed he was only unconscious and would come to in no time. He just needed to recollect himself like Yellow, who she still held onto, not wanting to let her out of her sight. However, from Lars’ horrified expression to just how limp and motionless his body appeared to be, Blue recalled when Ronaldo told her that humans get to a point in their lives eventually where they can no longer exist. Had he reached that point? The expressions around her validated her worries, and she felt a wave of disbelief throughout her as she realized that she might never get to see one of the closest friends she’s ever had again.   
  
Topaz was also confused. She had seen an injured human before, but nothing like this. All the life and energy that Ronaldo had previously been beaming with seemed to be drained from him completely, leaving nothing but an empty shell. She turned to Rhodonite, who was standing beside her, as if to silently ask if he’d be okay. The fusion, who recognized what was going on from the time it had happened to Lars, simply shook her head, hoping Topaz would understand. She did.   
  
The Rutile twins and Padparadscha were huddled together, also familiar with what was going on. One of the twins had began to tear up, and the other helped wipe the tears from her eyes, her own starting to drip down her cheeks as she did so. Padparadscha hadn’t realized what was happening yet, but once the vision came to her, it upset her so much that she became tongue-tied and unable to speak. How could she possibly break the news to Lars that he would be losing the one he loved most forever?   
  
After a few minutes of quiet mourning, it was Fluorite who broke the silence, voice cracking as she spoke to him. “ _Lars,  can  Steven  help  him?_ ”   
  
The distraught captain finally looked up to face his crew, blinking away tears and snapping out of his disbelief when Fluorite put the idea in his head. “Y-Yeah...he can!” He quickly became animated again, springing up and grabbing the Rutile twins.   
  
“Go inside my head!” he ordered them, bending over as quickly as possible so they could do so. “Please! I don’t know if there’s a time limit on these things or not; we gotta act now!”   
  
“But Lars-”   
  
“Stop! J-Just do it already, damnit!!! I can’t lose him...” the captain snapped, choking back sobs. “I-I can’t…”   
  
The twins looked at one another, taken aback by the sudden outburst but not judging Lars for it given the situation. Taking a deep breath, they attempted to enter the portal that existed inside of their captain’s hair. However, it wouldn’t light up like it did for Steven. Instead, it only felt as if they were fishing inside his hair for something.   
  
“I-It’s not working…” one of them gasped fearfully.   
  
“W-What!?!” Lars felt sick with worry when he noticed what this might mean but wanted to keep trying nonetheless. “T-That can’t be right! Try harder!!!”   
  
They attempted to go in head-first but got the same result. Lars could feel his patience running thin, and his heart was racing. After several attempts, the Rutiles finally gave up and hung both of their heads in disappointment.   
  
“I’m sorry, Captain…” one apologized.   
  
“I think Steven’s the only one that can go through,” the other spoke mournfully.   
  
“N-No…” Lars’ voice trailed off, and he plunged his own hand through his hair in an attempt to start the portal up. Nothing. “No, no, no, no, no, no…”   
  
He kept trying his hardest to enter his own head, yanking at his hair with loud screams and curses. The rest of the crew didn’t know what to do or say to help him and could only watch as their captain came undone over his loss.   
  
“F-Fuck!” Lars cried out, panting in exasperation, and finally realizing his plan wasn’t going to work out. “I have to...do th-this...it has to work!!! I can’t...I-I can’t…”   
  
Grief-stricken and extremely nauseous, Lars slowly walked back over to Ronaldo’s lifeless body and stood over it for a few seconds, before collapsing on top of it and letting out the most pained wail the crew had ever heard come from anyone, tears rushing from his eyes. He buried his face in Ronaldo’s chest, desperate to feel a heartbeat that he knew wasn’t there. Shutting his eyes tightly and practically screaming in despair, Lars held Ronaldo as close as he could, knowing now that it was his last chance to do so. He had failed to protect him.

Ronnie was dead.  
  
“I-I’m so sorry, R-Ronnie,” Lars choked out in repetition between his heart-wrenching sobs, which were currently the only sound other than the soft murmur of the melancholy tune emitting from the tape player.

 

“ _I love you…_ ”   
  


_There is another world_

_There is a better world_

_Well, there must be_

_Well, there must be_

_Well, there must be_

_Well, there must be_

_Well..._


	17. Teach Your Children

  
_  
Teach your children well,_

_Their father's hell did slowly go by,_

_And feed them on your dreams_

_The one they picks, the one you'll know by..._

 

“Is this going to be big enough?” Lars gritted his teeth as he met his friend at the top of the hill, the size of the box a little cumbersome to drag all the way up the slope along with a skateboard. “I just found it behind your dad’s restaurant.”

Ronnie’s eyes went wide with excitement upon seeing the large refrigerator shipping box the other had brought as the base model for their project. “It’s perfect!” He grinned and dropped onto his knees to crawl inside and check the interior. “It’s not too thin, and it’s not too cramped! Hand me the scissors!”

Glancing around, seeing the art supplies Ronnie had brought with him, Lars quickly found the scissors and passed them inside the box. “What do you need those for?”

Plunging his fist and the scissors up through the top of the box, the eight-year-old busted a large hole in the top, accidentally denting some of the surrounding cardboard (eh, no worries, it would do fine), and he poked his head through to peek at his friend. “We now got a hole for the cockpit!”

“Great!” Lars chirped. “What next?”

“We program the interior workings of the ship!” Ronnie directed, crawling out to grab his collection of markers, crayons and pencils. He’d read so many books on space and astronauts during this summer that he was confident they could get this spacecraft constructed, tested and flying out in the solar system by lunchtime. Sure, the aluminum foil pirate ship from yesterday hadn’t worked out, but it was just a matter of trying again! And getting swimming lessons.

Scribbling in buttons on the inside of the box, Lars smiled widely. “We should have a screen so we can talk to other ships when we get there!” As he spoke, he tore off a flap of the box, scribbling all over it with green marker. “Do you think it’ll work?”

Ronnie fixed his glasses on his face and gave it a very intense look, humming in thought, then nodded. “Yeah! It should definitely work!”

“Just wait until we tell everyone we spent summer vacation in space!” the younger boy giggled excitably, crawling out of the box to start work on the exterior, complete with a sharpie.

“They’re gonna be so jealous!” Ronnie crawled out to watch his friend work away. “Don’t forget to put flames on the side. So we look cool.”

“Yeah. _Cool_ ,” Lars repeated, eagerly scribbling orange and yellow shapes along the bottom edge of the box.

Once the construction process had been done, Ronaldo grabbed his cookie tin “helmet.” “Ready to give it a test flight?”

“Can I be captain?” Lars looked at him with sparkling eyes.

“Of course you can! You’re the best captain.”

Giggling excitably, the stringbean of a child put on his aviation goggles and stuck the skateboard underneath the box so it could properly travel down the hill at the proper speeds and climbed in, followed by Ronnie sitting behind him.

Both grinning as if it were Christmas, Lars raised a pointed finger to the sky, shouting gleefully. “Fire up the nova thrusters! How are the engines looking? Are we clear up ahead, Ronnie?”

“Yes, yes and yes!”

“Alright, then hyperspeed us out of here in 3...2...1!!!”

Wearing a wild grin on his face, Ronnie shoved the spaceship forward, and the two boys went racing down the hill at top speed. The wind was beating against their faces as the makeshift spaceship descended downwards, hitting every stick and pebble and making for a rather bumpy takeoff. Ronnie was having the time of his life, his hands in the air and whooping in joy as their journey continued. Lars, however, was fighting motion sickness and clinging as tightly as he could to his friend, trying his hardest not to make it obvious.  
  
“This is amaziiiing!” Ronnie cheered, laughing joyfully. “Isn’t it, captain?”  
  
“It suuuure isssss...” Lars tried his hardest to be the best captain he could and sound excited rather than extremely terrified. “How are things looking up ahead?”  
  
The smaller boy looked straight in front them. “We’re almost there! We’re gonna make it!” He opened his mouth to scream jubilantly, but instead gasped and yelled in shock, pointing in front of himself. “Oh no! There’s a meteor approaching!!!”  
  
“Wh-” Before Lars could ask what Ronnie realistically meant by that, he felt the box come to an abrupt stop after smacking into a giant stone in the middle of the hill. The force of the collision was enough to propel both boys out of their cardboard spaceship, send them flying through the air for a few seconds and landing them, roughly but safely, into a nearby rose bush.  
  
After their crash landing, Lars sat up from his spot in the bush, trying his hardest not to be pricked by any thorns. “Hhhhh,” he groaned, rubbing his head where it had slightly collided with the ground. “That was a rough landing...sorry about that, Ronnie.”  
  
That was when he realized that he couldn’t see his friend anywhere. Becoming momentarily panicked, the lanky boy began to scan the area for signs of his friend. “Ronnie?”  
  
“Woohoo!” A cry of joy sounded from behind him, and Ronnie popped out of the bush with his arms up in excitement, rose petals intertwined in his blonde curls. “We made it!”  
  
His friend’s happiness was enough to bring a smile back to Lars’ face, despite the fact that he was a little bit sore from their harsh landing. “Yeah, I suppose we did!”  
  
“Now what are we gonna do?” Ronnie asked, looking to his “captain.”  
  
“Hmmmmm…” Lars screwed up his face in thought, trying to think of what he would do first if he was in space. “We should probably look around and see what we can find. Who knows, we might run into some aliens!”  
  
“Alright!” The shorter boy cheered, jumping out of the bush with Lars doing the same shortly after. “Where should we explore first, oh Captain, my Captain?”  
  
“How about...over there?” Lars pointed to the beach behind them. “It looks like a planet full of sand and water.”  
  
“Oooo yeah! Let’s go explore, Captain!”  
  
“Follow me, uhhhh…” Lars racked his brain to try to remember the correct term he wanted to address Ronnie with, “first...mate?”  
  
The shorter boy’s eyes sparkled, and he turned around quickly to face the other. “Did you just give me a promotion?”  
  
“Uhhh...yes?”  
  
Ronnie leaped in the air with joy. “Yippee!!! I’m the first mate now!” He gave Lars a salute. “I won’t let you down, my dearest Captain!”

As they stomped eagerly onto the beach, down by the tide pools, Ronnie suddenly held Lars back with an arm. “Wait, Captain! They could be pools of acid! Let me get closer and examine them!”

“O-Okay!” Lars nodded, readjusting the aviator goggles on his face. “Be careful, first mate Ronnie!”

Getting closer and kneeling down with a determined gaze, Ronnie stared at the water and experimentally dipped a finger in. He paused for a few seconds, and then grinned, looking back at Lars. “It’s safe, Captain! Feel free to explo-OW OW OW!!!” He suddenly yelped, pulling his hand up sharply, revealing a purple crab dangling on the end of it.

“Ronnie!” Lars gasped, running over and taking his friend by the wrist. He tried to shake the crab off, fed up at how it was stubbornly holding on.

“Unhand me you beast!” Ronnie shouted at it, still trying to stay in character, and finally managed to shake it right off, sending it falling on the sand.

“I-Is your finger okay?” Lars asked worriedly, still holding his friend’s hand.

Pouting, Ronnie looked at it, more grumpy than anything. “Yeah. I think we’ve landed on a hostile planet.”

The two were suddenly spooked by loud laughter coming from the crab they’d just encountered, and in a sparkly flash, a purple woman was sitting on the beach, pointing at them.

“Wh-what are you two even doing?!” She was almost tearing up at how hilarious she found their appearances and mannerisms.

“We’re visiting this alien planet looking for civilization!” Ronnie declared. “Right Captain?” He looked at the stringy boy standing behind him, who gave a nervous nod and smile.

“And you’re doing all that with a pan on your head?” she snickered, lazing back on the sand.

“It’s a helmet!” Ronnie whined, putting his hands on his hips. “Now if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got to search this planet for more alien life forms!”

“Ooh, you’re looking for aliens?!” The shapeshifting girl suddenly smirked. “I got one right here!” In a flash, there was suddenly a multi-tentacled monster standing in front of the two boys. “WASSUUUUP?”

Lars immediately cried out in horror and ran the other direction, away from the beach. This game wasn’t fun anymore.

“Lars! Come back!” Ronnie gasped, stomping his foot angrily at the shapeshifter. “You’re mean!” He ran to go after his friend, while the purple woman shifted back to normal, shrugged and lay back on the beach to snooze.

“Lars!?!” Ronnie called out, having lost sight of him as he looked around. “Lars, where are you?” He caught sight of a ginger tuft of hair poking out of the top of their wrecked ship and hurried over. Sitting on his knees, he peeked in. “Lars?”

The other was sniffling as he buried his face in his knees, trying to stay curled up as he hid inside the box. He felt so stupid for crying, and he felt even more stupid for having been afraid of something as silly as _that_.

“Lars, it’s okay.” Ronnie tried to comfort him as he crawled inside to sit beside him. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t believe I got so scared of that,” Lars cried. “I’ll never make it in space.”

Ronnie nudged his shoulder. “Sure you will! You’re the brave captain!”

“I’m not brave enough,” Lars mumbled into his knees. “What’s gonna happen if another alien shows up? I can’t just...run away like a big ol’ chicken.”

“Well...sometimes it’s okay to be afraid!” Ronnie grinned, trying to be helpful. “I mean, I get afraid when there’s large birds, but I know that I have you to help me!”

Lars gave another sniffle and a tiny laugh. “When would we ever see large birds?”

“Well...if we turned our spaceship into a plane and went to Australia. There’s a bird that’s like a _dinosaur_ there!” Ronnie wrapped his tiny arms around his friend as they sat in the cardboard ship.

“...Do you think we’ll ever get to really go to space one day?” Lars asked softly. “Like when we’re grown-ups?”

“I’m certain of it!” Ronnie smiled. “And you’ll be the bravest captain this planet’s ever seen.”

Lars cracked the tiniest smile. “And you’ll be there with me as my trusty first mate.”

“Forever and ever?” the other smiled back.

“Yeah,” Lars chirped with promise, “ _forever and ever._ ”

 

_Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you will cry,_

_So just look at them and sigh_

_And know they love you_


	18. Kiss From a Rose

 

_I've been kissed by a rose on the gray_

_I've been kissed by a rose on the gray_

_I've been kissed by a rose on the gray_   
_If I should fall along the way_   
_I've been kissed by a rose on the gray…_   


  
After Lars had spoken his final words to Ronaldo, one of the many tears sliding down his cheeks landed on the side of the fallen human’s face containing the bleeding cut. A few seconds after the teardrop had splattered there, a faint glow started to emit from him. Startled, Lars shifted backward, not sure what was going on, and the tape player suddenly changed tracks to a slightly more jovial tune.   
  
The crystal glow seemed to spread throughout Ronaldo’s body, starting at the top of his hair and gradually moving downward. When it reached his open wound, the blood seemed to evaporate into thin air, and the cut instantly healed, leaving a clean scar. As it did so, Lars noticed that the human was also starting to change in hue, his hair turning a pale shade of pink, and his skin becoming rose-colored. Just like Lars.   
  
Once all of Ronaldo’s body had been covered in the glow, it slowly faded away. The captain, more awestruck now than he was before, glanced down at the human’s changed body with wide eyes and realized that the rise and fall of his chest had returned. He slowly leaned down as he’d done before and leveled his head with Ronaldo’s heart, making a small noise of surprise as he heard a slow yet present beat where there had previously been nothing.   
  
Suddenly, he was moving again. Lars distanced himself as much as he could while still cradling his body in his arms, wanting to give him space. As soon as he’d properly came to, Ronaldo blinked his eyes open, and they instantly locked with Lars’. The captain stared into them, his own still flooding with tears that hadn’t stopped falling yet.   
  
“L-Lars…?” Ronaldo spoke groggily, bringing a hand up to touch the scar on his face. “What...h-happened?”   
  
Lars replied by wrapping his arms tightly around him and pulling him into a hug, burying his face into his shoulder and choking back sobs. Ronaldo, taken off guard by the sudden act of affection from the other, returned it slowly, not knowing why Lars was reacting this way but wanting to be there for him nonetheless. The rest of the Off-Colors celebrated in the background as they realized their friend was okay but kept their distance, knowing it was best to give him some time with Lars for now.   
  
“I-I thought you were gone,” Lars whimpered, sniffling and holding onto the human even tighter.   
  
“Huh?” Ronaldo still hadn’t grasped exactly what just happened to him. All he knew was that he felt strangely fine despite his blurry memories of going unconscious after he was crushed underneath a giant pillar to save Lars. Wait a second…   
  
“Lars!” The human suddenly gasped and pulled away from the hug, studying the captain up and down. “Are you okay? That pillar didn’t hit you, did i- _OHHHH MY GOD!!!!!_ ”   
  
Ronaldo had caught a glimpse of his arm and noticed his change in hue, sitting upright in surprise. At first he was speechless, only able to frantically look at his arms and legs to make sure he was seeing things correctly. Once he’d taken a moment to think of what this meant, he brought a hand up to his hair and anxiously began to bat a loose curl that had fallen during his accident.   
  
“S-So I’m…did I just...?” he questioned, looking to Lars for an answer.   
  
The captain, still sniffling back tears, sighed and nodded his head in response.   
  
“W-Wow…so...wait, is Steven here?” Ronaldo looked to his left and right in search of the magical boy who brought Lars back from the dead a year or two ago.   
  
“N-No…” Lars answered, the real reason he’d been revived hitting him like a ton of bricks and causing him to go speechless for a second. “Oh my god…”   
  
“W-What?!”   
  
“Ronnie...I think I just brought you back to life myself.”   
  
There was another long pause, everyone exchanging shocked glances as they realized what this meant: Lars had received Steven’s resurrection powers. He could save people now, just as he had died and been brought back to life by the healing tears himself. And going off of what they knew so far, Ronaldo would be able to as well.   
  
“Wait so...you...I’m…” Ronaldo laughed slightly, fidgeting with his hair again. “Ohhh man, this is...this is a _looot_ to take in.”   
  
“I know,” Lars sympathized with him, bringing a hand up to his shoulder. “But...are you okay?”   
  
“O-Oh uh...yeah, I’m fine,” he replied, making eye contact with Lars again and flashing him a slight smile. “Kinda overwhelmed but physically? Never been better.”   
  
“Wait a second!” The two turned around when Rhodonite’s nervous voice startled them. “So you’re both pink magical humans now, right?”   
  
“Maybe?” Lars answered, still not really knowing how to react to all of this. “I mean, we’re definitely both pink, but I don’t really know for sure if Ronaldo has-”   
  
“Oh my stars!” Padparasdcha’s excited voice piped up. “Lars and Ronaldo are both pink, meaning they both have powers now! What a twist!”   
  
“Oh, huh. Guess so, then.” Lars rubbed his forehead, feeling a stress headache coming on.

Ronaldo had habitually put his finger to the bridge of his nose to adjust his glasses, only to find he wasn't wearing them. “I...guess I can see without my glasses now too?” he stated questionably, looking around and noticing the wrecked pair on the ground. The frames were still salvageable with some adjusting, so he cleared the remains of the lenses out before putting them back on his face.

“I like how they feel,” he reasoned with a good natured shrug.

“R-right.” Lars nodded, still a bit shaken up.

“Are _you_ okay?” Ronaldo put a hand on Lars’ arm. “You look way more freaked out about this than I am.”

“Yeah I’m okay,” Lars breathed, “just...kinda all happened at once, ya know?”

“I know,” Ronaldo laughed awkwardly, giving a reassuring smile to him, not taking his hand away.

Lars’ face grew warm at seeing such a smile, and he felt greatly relieved that it wasn’t going to be the last time he’d ever see it. He loved Ronaldo so much, and he’d just almost lost him.

“A-Are you really okay?” Ronaldo suddenly frowned as the captain’s eyes filled with tears again, only to give a surprised noise as he was pulled into a kiss. Lars was pretty overwhelmed with emotion right now, and all he wanted was to make sure this all was _real_.

Ronaldo was pretty quick in returning the kiss and pulled Lars closer to him so they could embrace one another, albeit awkwardly while sitting on the ground. None of the crew made a move to interrupt them, knowing they probably really needed this.

“Alright, you Off-Colors, now that I have my ship back and an Aquamarine-sized decoration on the front of it, I’m-”, Emerald’s loud speech as she barged through was cut off as she caught sight of Lars on the ground in a disgustingly loving embrace with that hideous human he’d been dragging around, but she jolted in place once she realized something had changed.

“You’re both pink?!” she screeched. “Is this a normal thing for humans that I wasn’t informed about?! None of my research has stated anything on this! What happened?! Hey! I’m talking to you!!!”

Lars held up a finger as if to say “hold on” at her, not breaking the kiss with Ronaldo in the slightest. She responded with a dramatic huff, and crossed her arms, waiting for him to finish this gross display of affection. Once he pulled back, still resting in the other’s arms, he smiled. “What was that?”

“Why. Is. He. PINK!?!” She gestured at Ronaldo with both hands aggressively.

“Oh, I just died and came back to life.” He shrugged, smiling casually. “No big deal.”

She immediately calmed down, nodding. “Oh, well then, that’s understandabl- _WHAT!?!_ ”

“Long story, you’d get bored if I told you.” Lars waved her off. “Anyway, what was that you were screaming about? You’ve got your ship back?”

“In adequate condition!” She sniffed proudly, pointing over her shoulder. “How does it look?”

Lars glanced over, seeing Aquamarine bound by the hands and feet across the front grill of the ship, screeching incoherently, then looked back at Emerald. “Rustic,” he snickered.

She narrowed her eyes. “No idea what that means, but I digress...I guess this is a close to our truce.”

“Well...it doesn’t have to be.” Lars shrugged, giving her an inviting smile.

“What are you saying?”

“You could always join us and be a member of the crew. I mean, us rogues have to stick together, ya know? And we actually _do_ make a pretty good team.”

Emerald looked very taken aback by the offer and glanced at the rest of Lars’ crewmates. They were all smiling welcomingly. After all the cruel things she had subjected them to...they were offering her friendship?

“So, what do you say?” Lars held his hand out, grinning.

After a pause, Emerald stepped forward and reached her hand forward ever so slowly.

However, a split second before their hands touched, she pulled back, slapping it over her eyes as she let out a howl of laughter. “OH MY GOODNESS I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY THOUGHT I’D WANT TO JOIN YOUR MISERABLE CREW!!!” She screeched with laughter, almost doubled over in hysterics. Tearing up as she kept cackling, she pointed at Lars. “LOOK AT YOUR STUPID FACE! _LOOK_ AT IT! LOOK AT YOUR STUPID HIDEOUS LITTLE FACE!!!”

Lars just watched her laugh and gloat over her rejection of his offer, not saying a word and not reacting whatsoever. Emerald then pointed to the crew. “And...a-and you all are looking at me like-” she tried to finish her sentence but only let out a wheeze of laughter, and she turned around, stumbling back to her ship as she almost cried out of how much mirth this gave her.

“Ohhhh...ohohohooo…” She breathed slowly as she came down from her high of hysterics. “But seriously,” she spoke, tone still cheerful, “absolutely not. I’ll vaporize your skull next time I see you in this galaxy!” She bid him farewell, heading inside her ship. Aquamarine could be heard cursing and screeching as it started up and launched into the sky, back into the depths of space.

Ronaldo just smiled as the ship disappeared. “...She’s _really_ come a long way.”

Lars nodded in earnest agreement, along with the rest of the Off-Colors.  
  
“Well,” Rhodonite piped up, “I don’t know about you, but I think it’s about time we got off of this planet! Anyone with me?”   
  
The rest of the gems nodded in agreement, except for Blue, who seemed as if she had too much on her mind to react. However, Ronaldo began to protest.   
  
“Wait a second! There are still loads of gems in there.” He pointed toward the prison structure behind him. “We have to at least try to save them!   
  
“I don’t think there’s enough room on the ship for that…” one of the Rutiles piped up, looking to her twin for confirmation.   
  
“She’s right. We could hardly move to get out of here.”   
  
“ _The  best  thing  to  do  would  be  to  find  these  gems  a  new  home  and  come  back  later,_ ” Fluorite decided.   
  
“Yeah...yeeeeeah!” Ronaldo exclaimed, as if an idea had popped into his head. “That can be our thing!”   
  
“Our thing?” Lars questioned.   
  
“Ya know, what we do here in space,” he continued. “We liberate gems who have been imprisoned under Homeworld’s tyrannical rule! It’s like...what makes us heroes.”   
  
A smile spread across Lars’ face at Ronaldo’s words, realizing that it was the best idea he’d ever heard from him. Of course he’d been skeptical to mess with this planet to begin with, but now that he’d already pulled two jailbreaks, he couldn’t help but wonder if they could get away with more in the future. He also really did want a purpose in space other than not being able to return to Earth without the threat of Homeworld gems snatching his closest friends and family members while he was asleep and holding them for ransom. While the Crystal Gems protected the humans and gems on Earth, the Off-Colors could protect gems in other parts of the galaxy. He liked the sound of that.   
  
“Well, I’ve always wanted to be a hero,” Lars spoke after contemplating the idea, chuckling to himself. “I say we should do it!”   
  
The Off-Colors all erupted into cheers of agreement at the idea to begin with, but Rhodonite stopped to ask something. “But where would we take them? Almost every planet in the galaxy is overseen or ruled by Homeworld.”   
  
“Hmmm...well, it would have to be somewhere big,” one of the Rutiles thought out loud.   
  
“And with a lot of different environments,” the other continued her thought.   
  
“ _A  place  where  they  could  be  themselves  without  worry,_ ” Fluorite added.   
  
“Don’t fall for Emerald’s tricks, Lars!” Padparadscha chimed in a few minutes too late. “She’s only going to laugh at you!”   
  
An idea for where the gems could be taken almost immediately popped into Lars’ head, and he turned to face Ronaldo, who was also wearing a knowing smile.   
  
“You thinking what I’m thinking?”   
  
“Oh, you know it.”

* * *

“Everybody, listen up!” Lars called attention to the several gems crowding the inside of his ship, causing them all to stop whatever they were doing and pause the conversations they were having to give him their undivided attention.   
  
Ronaldo walked over to stand beside him, a wide smile on his face. “My captain and I have a big announcement, and we need you all to listen up! Any questions so far?”   
  
A wingless Lapis Lazuli raised her hand, and Ronaldo pointed to her. “When did you get all pink?   
  
“Long story that we don’t have time for right now!” he answered, turning to Lars in a silent plea for him to start the announcement before any similar questions had time to be asked.

  
“Okay,” the captain spoke, “as most of you know, Homeworld is a sick and twisted society that locks up and does away with anyone who dares to express themselves through any means other than kissing the Diamonds’ asses, right?”   
  
“Oh, tell me about it!” an overcooked Jasper snarled, rolling her eyes.   
  
“We were sent here for playing a harmless prank on an Agate!” an Amethyst surrounded by two others chimed in.   
  
“They wanted to do away with me because my gem isn’t able to project things!” a defective Olivine Pearl confessed.   
  
“We were going to be shattered for fusing!” a Tanzanite squeaked, holding tightly onto a Tiger’s Eye’s hand who in return grumbled something about how Yellow Diamond hated true love.   
  
“All I did was draw Yellow Diamond’s nose too big!” a Cobalt Spinel scoffed.   
  
“What does ass mean?” a Ruby wondered out loud.   
  
“I know, I know, Homeworld sucks, right?” Ronaldo cut off the many gems speaking over one another. “That’s why you won’t have to deal with it anymore!”   
  
“Let me tell you about Earth,” Lars began. “I know what you’re probably thinking: but Lars, or pink human who I have just met and not yet learned the name of, Earth was wiped out years ago! However, that’s just another shitty lie the Diamonds want you to believe. Take my word for it, Earth is alive and well and flourishing more and more every day! It’s a huge planet. I mean, this place is colossal. Ginormous. King sized. You think this crummy prison planet is big? Just wait until you see Earth!”   
  
“Also,” Ronaldo chimed in, “it’s full of beautiful plants and wildlife! For example, animals such as the koala, a fluffy adorable little native to a place called Australia, roam free without a care in the world save for maybe their natural predators. But that part doesn’t apply to you because you won’t have any of those! Earth is, for the most part, completely safe, especially if you’re a gem who can’t die in a really stupid way like getting electrocuted by a coffee maker. Also, the way space looks from there at night? Absolutely gorgeous. The sunsets too! And don’t even get me started on anime! It’s like this-”   
  
“Okay, okay, I think they’ve got the jist of it,” Lars interrupted, stifling a laugh at Ronaldo’s comments before resuming the speech himself. “Anyway, all of that he’s talking about sounds pretty sweet, right? Now how would you feel if we said you all will be going to Earth...to _stay_ ?”   
  
The crowd of gems interrupted into cheers and whoops of pure joy, some individual voices yelling loud enough to be heard over the jubilant celebration of the group.   
  
“I want to live on a planet with no Diamonds!” a Bixbite announced.   
  
“I want to see how the stars look from there!” the Maroon Pearl next to her chimed in.   
  
“I want to touch a koala!” an enthusiastic Peridot gasped in excitement.

“I want to get electrocuted by a coffee maker!” the same Ruby from before shouted.  
  
“Great things....except for that last one! That one's bad! Now, I know you are all very excited,” Lars resumed, “but I need you to hear the game plan we’ve come up with for getting you to this place. I need you to band with the gems you’re closest to because I doubt you’d all want to live cramped up in the same space when there’s so much to explore on Earth. When we get there, we’ll be doing our best to travel all around this planet and find the place that’s best suited for each and every one of you.”   
  
“And that means we gotta know stuff about you guys,” Ronaldo picked up. “So, since it’ll be a while since we get there, this ship is your temporary home away from Earth! Talk to existing members of the crew, as well as us if you’d like to. We’re all going to the same planet here, right? Why not make some friends along the way?”   
  
“Therefore,” Lars concluded with a warm smile, “as your captain, I declare each and every one of you honorary members of the Off-Colors! Even when you’ve all settled down on Earth, we’ll be here to look after you and rescue other gems from the prison planet to bring them there as well. You gems are only the first in a series of rescue missions!”   
  
Cheers, thank yous and loud clapping exploded from the surrounding gems. Lars beamed, overwhelmed by the massive praise he was receiving and looked to Ronaldo, who was doing the same with a large grin plastered across his face. He was so proud of him. They were both so proud of each other.   
  
“And with that being said, go out there and make some friends! We’ll alert you all when we’re closer to Earth, but for now, make yourselves at home on the ship. Thank you all for gathering here to listen and start preparing for your voyage to freedom!” Lars turned around to leave the center of attention but stopped midway, turning around.

“Wait!” he gasped. “I almost forgot something important!” The gems all turned to look to the captain once more, eager to hear what he had to say. Smirking, he turned around and made finger guns at the crowd, winking. “Bingo bongo!” This only earned more jubilant noises from them, some of them imitating his signature gesture.   
  
While the cheering gradually died down, Lars planned to head toward his room. He was completely exhausted, something that didn’t happen as much as it used to, and figured he was long overdue for a good night’s rest. On his way there, he caught a glimpse of Ronaldo out of the corner of his eye and ran over to him, remembering that they still had some things to talk about.   
  
When Lars got closer to him, he noticed that the newly-pink human had a strange expression on his face that was rather hard to read. It was somewhere between bittersweet and deep in thought. Upon hearing footsteps, he seemed to be startled from whatever was on his mind, quickly facing Lars.   
  
“Oh! Hey,” he greeted him. “You think we did a good job back there?”   
  
“Yeah,” Lars assured him, running a hand down his neck. “They all seem super stoked.”   
  
“One of the little green ones asked me if I had any koala pictures on me,” he laughed. “I told her I’d show them off later. I’m normally always down to spread the beauty of marsupials, koalas especially, but I’m beat.”   
  
“Me too. About the beat thing, not the koala pictures. I appreciate your passion though.”   
  
“Awww, thank you.” Ronaldo momentarily beamed before his expression fell once more. “But seriously, Lars...are you sure you’re okay? I know this is a lot for you to take in and-”   
  
“Ronnie,” Lars stopped him, reaching down to grab his hand, “I’m not the one who just died.”   
  
Ronaldo looked down to their intertwined hands, blushing slightly, and then back to Lars himself. “Yeah, but even before all of that, you were really upset about…” A sudden realization dawned on him, causing his now slow-beating heart to almost stop. “Wait...so...does this mean I’m _immortal_ now too?”   
  
_Shit._ Mixed feelings came flooding to Lars when he noticed what hadn’t crossed his mind for some reason. Sure, he’d thought about how Ronaldo would now have a pocket dimension in his hair, portal powers and the ability to revive dead bodies, but between the grief of momentarily losing his beloved and shock when he discovered his own healing powers, it had completely slipped his mind that this meant Ronaldo had also lost the ability to age and die.   
  
“O-Oh Ronnie…” Lars’ voice trailed off, not knowing what to say. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t think of that-”   
  
“Hey,” Ronaldo cut in, squeezing his hand to comfort him, “I’d much rather be alive and immortal with you than dead without you. Don’t worry about it.”   
  
“You mean...you’re not freaked out by this at all?”   
  
“Maybe a little, but I’m trying not to think too hard about it until I have to tell dad and Peedee.” A small grin suddenly made its way onto Ronaldo’s face. “And also...this means we can get back together again, right?”   
  
The fact that being with Lars was one of the things keeping Ronaldo from panicking over the situation he’d currently found himself in both flattered the captain and made his heart ache. He didn’t want him to feel like he only loved him because he was pink and immortal now. That wasn’t the case at all. He’d always had feelings for him, and Ronnie deserved to know that.   
  
“Ronnie, listen to me” Lars spoke, making eye contact so he would know his statement was sincere, “even if this didn’t happen, I was going to ask if we could try to make something work. Sure it’s relieving that I won’t have to watch you get old and die now, but I want to be with you no matter what, immortal or not.”   
  
This seemed to be something Ronaldo needed to hear, for as soon as he’d processed what Lars said, his expression softened greatly, and he pulled him into another warm embrace. “I want to be with you no matter what too,” he whispered, giving Lars a kiss on the cheek.   
  
After they had clung to one another for a few seconds, Lars reluctantly broke the hug. “I gotta get some shut-eye now. You wanna join?”   
  
“Oh yeah. Knowing how your sleep schedule works, this might be the only time I’ll feel exhausted all week.”   
  
“Yep. At least you won’t keep me prisoner in my own bed for hours now.”   
  
“Hey, another plus!” Ronaldo joked, taking Lars’ hand once more and starting to lead him back to their shared room. However, on their way, something, or someone, caught his eye and brought him to a halt.   
  
Blue Zircon was in the hallway outside his room, leaning against the wall by a window with Yellow Zircon’s gem still safely in her palm. She was ignoring the commotion caused by the ex-prisoners around her, looking out the window at the passing planets with a troubled expression on her face.   
  
“Actually, I’ll meet up with you if that’s cool.” Ronaldo let go of Lars’ hand slowly, as if it pained him to do so. “I need to check up on something.”   
  
“Oh, okay.” Lars sounded as if he didn’t want to let Ronaldo out of his sight at all. “I’ll see you in a minute or two, right?”   
  
“Promise,” he replied, leaning in to give Lars a quick kiss on the lips to calm his nerves. “I’m not going anywhere.” The captain blushed and smiled, comforted by the sign of affection, and walked toward their room while Ronaldo made his way over to where Blue was.   
  
“Hey Blue,” he greeted her, startling the gem from her thoughts.   
  
“O-Oh!” she responded, clutching the gemstone she held even tighter upon being surprised. “H-Hey Ronaldo. Are you uh...feeling better?”   
  
“I’m alive, and that’s all that really matters right now.” He glanced toward the square-cut gem in her hand. “So uhhh...what happened to her?”   
  
Biting her lip as if she were trying to fight back tears, Blue sighed. “She uh...sacrificed herself for me. A Sodalite fusion had me cornered, and she...she…” The Zircon gulped down a lump forming in her throat. “Y-Yeah…”   
  
“Wow, me and her both I guess.” Ronaldo put a hand on his friend’s shoulder to hopefully make her feel more secure. “She’ll be okay though, right? I saw her poof before Lars and I went to save her, and she came back in a matter of minutes.”   
  
Letting out a deep breath, Blue turned her attention back to Yellow’s gem. “Yeah, I suppose. It was just kind of hard to watch, ya know?”   
  
“I understand,” the pink human sympathized with her. “Would you like me to take her back to my room? I can put her on a pillow or something so she’d be more comfortable. You could come in and check on her any time.”   
  
Blue thought about his proposal and eventually nodded. “Okay, but only if you promise to take good care of her and keep her safe. She is _very_ important to me!” Her face flushed immensely when she realized what she’d said. “I mean, n-not in that way, I just...she’s...gems are fragile in that state and-”   
  
“Blue,” Ronaldo put a finger to her mouth, stopping her from saying another word, “we know. We all know. Trust me. Most of the members of this crew are in relationships, and three of us are literal personifications of relationships. You can’t hide stuff like this from us. Just the other day, Lars and I made a bet on who would confess their feelings first, and I said that you probably wo-”   
  
“That’s enough, I get it, you don’t have to say anymore, okay!?” The Zircon flailed her arms at him as she squawked, now incredibly flustered. “Just...go make her comfortable!”   
  
“You can count on me,” Ronaldo replied with a smirk. Giving his friend one last pat on the back beforehand, he made his way toward his room, Yellow’s gem in his hand and a wide smile on his face as he prepared to settle down for a well-deserved rest with the person he aimed to spend the entirety of his extended life with.   


  
_Now that your rose is in bloom_

_A light hits the gloom_

_On the gray_


	19. One More Tomorrow

 

_ One more tomorrow _ __  
_ To hold you in my embrace _ __  
_ And thrill with rapture _ __  
_ Each time I look at your face… _ __  
  


__  
Ronaldo held Lars in his arms, running his fingers up and down his arm as they listened to the beautiful slow murmur of the tape player they’d turned on prior to their nap together. He felt the other snuggle against him, letting out a small noise of comfort as he did so. Finding it too adorable to go without reward, Ronaldo gave the lanky boy in his arms a small kiss on the forehead.   
  
As they lay there together, their problems seemed to drift away. All that mattered to either boy was the other, as they drifted off into a well-deserved sleep while holding onto one another as tightly and securely as they could. It was to be first of many moments like this, and both of them were eager for the rest. Although they had initially been shocked upon the realization they would live forever, the fact that they’d be with one another through it all helped calm their nerves and made the situation a lot better than it had previously been.   
  
More comfortable than ever, Lars and Ronaldo slowly drifted to sleep in each other’s arms. There was not a sound to be heard from their room, minus the quiet music. Everything was tranquil, peaceful and perfect.   
  
That was until a loud knock on the door abruptly woke them.   
  
“Ronaldoooo!!! Can I come check on Yellow? Pleeeeease?”   
  
Groaning, the larger of the two reluctantly let go of Lars, who whined in protest as he did so. “Just a second!” he called, adjusting his clothes that had became ruffled during their snuggling.    
  
“Mmmmm...what’s her problem?” Lars whimpered, face buried in Ronaldo’s pillow.   
  
“Leave her be, Lars,” Ronaldo warned, groggily walking to the door. “She’s just worried about her girlfriend.”   
  
“Ugh, well can she do that on the other side of the ship where I’m not trying to sleep?” He groaned, clearly agitated.   
  
Rolling his eyes, Ronaldo opened the door and was met with visibly stressed out Blue Zircon. She burst into his room and ran over to his desk, where Yellow’s gem was lying in the middle of a pillow.   
  
“Still nothing?” she asked worriedly, staring so intently at the gemstone that she could see her own reflection.   
  
“What are we even supposed to be looking for?” Lars remarked sarcastically before Ronaldo could open his mouth. “Is she gonna hatch like a fuckin’ chicken?”   
  
“No! I just wanted to know if she...I don’t...know but...wait, what’s a chicken?”   
  
“I’ve been keeping an eye on her to my best ability,” Ronaldo informed Blue. “So far she’s just kind of sat there. Is that normal?”   
  
Blue frowned and looked down at the gemstone. “Yeah, that’s how it is. She’s just never taken this long to reform before.”   
  
“Maybe she needs some peace and quiet for a little while?” Lars asked, tone still dripping with frustration. “Like me?”   
  
“I guess that could be it…” Blue didn’t sound too convinced, worriedly clasping her hands together. “I’ll just come back in a few more minutes.”   
  
“Oh no you won’t!” the captain snapped. “You’ve been in here three times over the span of an hour and a half, and she hasn’t spontaneously combusted yet. She’s gong to be fine.”   
  
Ronaldo gave Lars a disappointed glare, who rolled over and shoved his face in his pillow again, before speaking to Blue. “I’m sure she’s gonna be okay. Like Lars said, maybe she’s just a little tired.”   
  
“Yeah,” the Zircon smiled, semi-reassured by Ronaldo’s words. “Let me know if she reforms, okay?”   
  
“Will do! I mean if we didn’t, I’m sure she’d let you know herself but yeah. We will.”   
  
“True,” she laughed, heading out of the room. “Thanks again for looking after her.”   
  
Ronaldo nodded to Blue, watching her close the door behind her and immediately turning back to Lars.   
  
“Think she got the memo that time?” he asked.   
  
“I think she did.” Ronaldo climbed back in his bed and settled down in the same position he’d been in earlier, with Lars snuggled tightly against his chest. “Ready for that nap now?”   
  
“Oh  __ fuck yeah,” Lars replied, stretching his limbs. “If I’m asleep for a thousand years, don’t freeze me in a block of ice or anything.”   
  
“Got it.”   
  
That being said, the two held onto each other and quickly fell into a peaceful slumber they had been waiting so long for, chests rising and falling in time with one another.   


* * *

After a few hours of rest, Ronaldo opened his eyes. He felt much more refreshed and energized after his nap, stretching and yawning but still careful not to disturb Lars, who was still asleep beside him, drooling and snoring loudly. A smile crept on his lips as he saw the sleeping captain nestled so close to him, although it fell slightly when he realized Lars was getting slobber all over his pillow. Oh well. At least he still looked cute.   
  
Even though he was wide awake, he figured he would stay until Lars was as well. He didn’t want to disturb him, and how could he say no to a few more peaceful moments with his boyfriend? There wasn’t anything to disturb them either, just the tranquil sound of the tape player, hushed chatter coming from outside, Lars’ snores and the soft yellow glow emitting from Ronaldo’s desk. Everything was just fine…   
  
Wait a minute. Why was his desk glowing?   
  
“Oh shit!” Ronaldo cursed, still managing to keep his voice down. He carefully but quickly lept from his bed, making sure not to disturb Lars as he did so. Luckily for him, the captain could sleep through a freight train crashing into his house (something he actually could prove following a pretty disastrous event on Earth a few years back when Lars was still a human. Amethyst still denied having had anything to do with that train derailing into the neighborhood.)   
  
Ronaldo burst open the door, and conveniently for him, Blue was still rather close to his room. She was looking out a nearby window as she had been earlier. “Blue!” he called to her, instantly grabbing her attention. “It’s happening!”   
  
The Zircon’s face lit up with surprise and relief, and she ran over before saying a word, almost plowing into Ronaldo. “Y-Yellow?” she called when she reached the doorway, voice eager. “Yellow, are you oka-o-oh!”    
  
Hearing the astonished noise come from the gem behind him, Ronaldo pivoted to look at what had caused her to make it. What he saw almost got the exact same reaction out of him.   
  
Yellow Zircon was standing in the middle of their room with a shy grin on her face, but she looked a bit different. Her outfit was mostly the same, save for a slightly frillier cravat, but rather than having her usual Yellow Diamond-esque hair, it was styled into four spikes coming up from the back. Once she locked eyes with Blue, her smile widened, and her face became flushed.   
  
“H-Hey there, Blue,” she greeted the other Zircon, giving her a small wave. “I uh...decided to make a few changes to my form since the old one was uhhh...reminding me a bit too much of...my old life? Yeah and uh…I’ve always wanted to try this one soooo...”   
  
Blue blinked, keeping the same awestruck expression on her face and walked slowly toward Yellow, as if she had something planned.   
  
“D-Do you like it?” the newly-reformed Zircon continued. “It’s kind of a work in progress, to be honest. I think I made the top one a bit too big, but I can fix it when the time comes! I’m not saying I’ll poof again any time soon, but maybe uh...if I could-”   
  
The other Zircon cut Yellow off with a tight embrace, pulling her close and sniffling as she buried her face in her shoulder. Taken by surprise, she took a while to hug her back, but did eventually, patting her back comfortingly.   
  
“I-I can’t believe you, Yellow,” Blue whimpered, a tear rolling down her cheek as she clung to the newly-reformed gem. “Why? Why did you do that for me?”   
  
At first, Yellow was speechless, but then a confident smile crept onto her lips, and she broke their embrace to hold Blue’s face in her hand, rubbing a finger down it to wipe the tear that had fallen just as she’d done when they were hiding behind the rock.   
  
“Because,” she spoke, her voice warm and sincere, “I love you, Blue.”   
  
For a moment, it looked as if Blue was about to start bawling in response. However, taking everyone in the room by surprise and maybe even herself, she went with her gut instinct and grabbed Yellow by her cravat, pulling her into a kiss. At first, Yellow looked even more shocked than she did at the hug and froze but soon accepted the act of affection and returned it, running a hand behind Blue’s neck to hold onto her.   
  
At that very moment, Lars began to stir and lifted himself up, stretching his arms upward and yawning loudly as he did so. “Mmmmm...h-hey Ronnie,” he spoke groggily, before realizing there was no one beside him. “Huh? R-Ronnie, where’d ya-YAAAAH!”    
  
Lars had expected to wake up to the smiling face of his boyfriend, but instead, found himself in a front row seat to watching two of his crewmates reach first base. They didn’t even stop when they heard him scream. He turned to Ronaldo, desperate for an explanation, but the other pink human only sighed and rolled his eyes, reaching into his pants pocket and pulling out a 10 dollar bill. “Yellow confessed first. You won.”   
  
Lars started down at the money and realized he’d forgotten their bet. He put it on the nightstand and vowed to collect it later, quickly getting back to the point. “Why are these two doing that in here!? I thought we were the only ones allowed to make out in your room!”   
  
“Just let them have their fun,” Ronaldo laughed.   
  
“Okay, but if they start doing whatever the gem equivalent to sex is, I’m jumping out the window and taking refuge on Mars.”   
  
Once the kiss had ended, the two Zircons turned to see the humans staring at them, and both blushed profusely in embarrassment. “Oh, erm...hello, Lars,” Blue greeted them with a nervous smile, Yellow appearing to be completely tongue-tied. “Sleep well?”   
  
“Yes, I did. Did you and her enjoy your little smooch session?”   
  
“Uhhhhh…”   
  
“Wait a second,” Yellow spoke, screwing her face up in confusion, “what’s all that racket?”   
  
“Oh, you mean the song?” Lars asked, looking over to the tape player. “That’s AC/DC. They’re alright once you’ve listened to them for a while, but it is kind of an acquired taste.”   
  
“No!” the Zircon retorted. “It’s like...talking? A million voices all talking over one another? It sounds worse than the courtroom during a recess!”   
  
Blue’s eyes lit up in realization. “Oh, right! Remember that massive jailbreak we pulled?”   
  
Yellow gasped. “Oh my stars, are all those gems on the ship right now?”   
  
“Yep!” Ronaldo informed her.   
  
The Zircon, looking rather frightened, rubbed her forehead and sighed. “This is going to be a long trip to uh...where are we-” That was when she finally noticed that something was different about one of her crewmates. “Ronaldo!”   
  
“Yeah?”   
  
“Were you always that pink?” She turned to Blue for an explanation, anxiously chewing at the tips of her fingers. “Did he reform too? Goodness, what all have I missed on this crazy ship!?!”   
  
“A lot,” she stated, giving a side glance to Ronaldo. “I’ll explain all of it to you, but first I think we should give these two some privacy.”   
  
“Fair enough,” the other Zircon sighed, taking Blue’s arm. “Care to introduce me to any of those prisoners?”   
  
“I’ve only talked to a handful of them, but I suppose we could try to get to know a few others,” she replied, waving a quick goodbye at Ronaldo and Lars before leading Yellow out of their room.   
  
“What a brilliant idea! I wonder if any of them got turned in for treason too?”   
  
“Oh, hush.”   
  
Once the two gems had exited, Ronaldo sat back down on his bed and faced Lars, who was sitting upward with his legs crossed casually. “So that just happened,” he snorted.

“Yeah,” Ronaldo laughed, taking off his undershirt. “At least now they have no reason to come in here.”   


“Right.” Lars smiled, stretching out again as he sank back under the covers, patting the mattress with an inviting smile.  
  
Returning the expression, Ronaldo crawled under the blankets, kissing Lars’ nose as he got comfortable. “Well...until we get closer to Earth at least.”

“Mhm.” The other nodded, snuggling close and closing his eyes as he relaxed, only to open them a moment later. “...Are you nervous?”

“About?”

“Y’know, showing up on Earth all pink and stuff?”

There was a pause as Ronaldo reflected on everything that had happened in the last several hours. He didn’t know exactly how he was going to break the news to his family that he’d literally  _ died in space _ and was now an immortal magical being, but he couldn’t help but think that compared to other things he’d endured back home, this wasn’t much of a surprise.

“Well…” Ronaldo began, “how did your parents handle it?”

“Oh, my mom cried her eyes out,” Lars snorted, “but they both got over it after like a week.” He sighed, running a hand along Ronaldo’s side comfortingly.

“That’s a little promising, but even so my family’s different...so...I don’t know what’ll happen really.”

“At least you’re  _ alive _ .” Lars smiled, kissing the scar on Ronaldo’s face and gently rubbing his thumb on his cheek. “You’re alive and with me.”

A smile slowly grew on Ronaldo’s face as he realized this, and he wrapped his arms around Lars “Yeah,” he murmured, “that’s what matters the most.”

Lars gave another affirmative hum. “Once I’m home, I’m gonna make good use of my bed before I have to go back to space.”

“Agreed. I love cuddling here with you, but this bed is...not the best.” He winced, feeling how flat the mattress was.

“We’ll have to see whose bed back home is softer.” Lars grinned deviously at him.

“I guess we will.” He smiled back, kissing Lars right on the lips. “You know, this music isn’t exactly lulling me off to sleep.” He glanced aside, as if something had just crossed his mind.

“Oh yeah, me neither.” Lars rolled on top of the other, resting on his chest. “Do you want me to change it to something so we can go to sleep faster?”

“Mmm,” Ronaldo hummed, kissing him again. “Nah. I think we can figure out another way to get tired again.”

“Think we’ll have enough time before we get back to Earth?” Lars winked at him, still changing the music to something more romantic.

“I think we can manage.” Ronaldo winked back.

At least an hour later, Blue Zircon was rushing to their door again. She was surprised to hear small noises coming from both humans on the other side. However, she brushed it off as them attempting to create mini portals, possibly in an attempt to activate Ronaldo’s newly-found powers.    
  
Not wanting to disturb their training, but needing to nonetheless, she knocked at the door.  “Captain! Ronaldo!” 

There was a pause before Lars answered, voice shaky as he spoke up. “Uh...y-yeah?”

“We’re approaching Earth!”

“O-Oh! Uh...great!” he chirped. “Just...give us...a moment!” Blue only heard the two muttering and whispering inaudibly to each other and what sounded like them rustling around to find things on the floor.

“Are you two okay in there?”

“We’re great!” Ronaldo insisted, voice a little bedraggled. “We’ll be out in a sexond- I mean  _ second! _ ”   
  
When the two finally emerged, their hair was going every which way and both of them were wearing nervous smiles. Blue could have sworn that Ronaldo was wearing his shirt backwards but given her little knowledge of human clothing, decided not to speak of it.    
  
“What’s going on?” Lars questioned, refusing to make eye contact for some reason and awkwardly rubbing his arm.   
  
“We’re nearing Earth!” she repeated. “The ship should be landing in a matter of minutes.”   
  
“Oh, that’s nice, thanks Bl-wait WHAT!?!” Lars had completely lost track of time while he had been partaking in certain other activities with Ronaldo. “Thanks for telling us! C’mon, Ronnie!”   
  
“Do we have to?” Ronaldo whined, receiving a glare from Lars that gave him his answer. “Fine,” he sighed, looking down and whimpering nervously when he realized that his shirt was indeed on backwards. “Just let me go fix something first and I’ll be right out!”   
  
Blue led Lars to the main room of the ship while Ronaldo was fixing whatever he needed to. The captain himself was still running his fingers through his hair and trying to smooth it out while he made his way through the crowd of gems scattered around various areas of the ship. A few of them waved as he passed, causing him to smile and return the greeting.   
  
Once he was closer to the center of the room, he could pinpoint particular things going on. He spotted Topaz and Rhodonite talking to three other fusions, one of them ironically being a Sodalite fusion, which made Lars chuckle to himself. Padparadscha was nearby, hanging out with a group of five Rubies, all of who were asking her to predict things that they had already done and cheering in awe when she did so. Yellow Zircon was having a seemingly in-depth conversation with a Lapis Lazuli and Carnelian, who both waved to Blue as she left Lars’ side to join them. Passing by the engine room, he took a quick peek down inside to find Fluorite, several gems of all different kinds gathered around her as she told them stories of the many adventures she’d been a part of.    
  
Walking over to his chair, Lars noticed that as the Rutiles piloted the ship toward Earth, another Rutile was sitting nearby and idly chatting with them. When the captain took a seat, they looked to him momentarily.    
  
“Hello, Captain!” one of the twins greeted him.   
  
“Sleep well?” the other asked.   
  
“Yeah,” he told them, “felt good, too. Who’s your friend here?”   
  
“Oh, where are my manners?” the new Rutile chirped, glancing to Lars. “I’m Rutile Facet-2D5F Cut-5XA!”   
  
“Nice to meet you!” Lars beamed at the red gem.   
  
“She’s really nice,” one of the Rutile twins spoke.   
  
“And she’s not...you know…” the other trailed off before 5XA spoke again.   
  
“These two were worried that I’d be scared of them! Can you believe that? Scared? Of two Rutiles who can pilot a giant ship full of gems with no problem whatsoever? Scared of the competition, maybe! If anything, I’m impressed!”   
  
The twins smiled to one another upon hearing the other Rutile’s kind words about them. Lars couldn’t help but grin as well, knowing this was something they’d been needing to hear from a gem of their own kind for a while.   
  
While basking in the tender moment, Lars heard someone panting behind him as an out-of-breath Ronaldo came to stand at his side. “I’m here!”   
  
“Did you finally get your pants on right?” the captain snorted.   
  
“Okay, first of all, it was my shirt, not my pants, and second of all-”   
  
“Captain, look!”   
  
Ronaldo stopped talking when one of the Rutiles spoke, and the two humans gazed out the large window in front of them. In the distance but close enough for them to see, was a blue, green, white and brown planet, standing out against the cosmos. The two Zircons and the gems they’d been talking to earlier made their way over to stand near Lars and Ronaldo, immediately noticing the sight in front of them. Blue, whose arm was linked with Yellow’s as usual, brought her free hand to her face in astonishment.   
  
“I-Is that it?”   
  
“Yep,” Lars spoke in awe, unable to take his eyes off the familiar planet.   
  
“Wow,” Yellow gasped. “So that’s Earth, huh? I’m impressed.”   
  
“Wait, that’s Earth!?!” their Lapis Lazuli friend suddenly exclaimed from behind them, turning eagerly to the Carnelian.   
  
“Whoa! It’s massive!” the Carnelian followed up, before turning around and whistling loudly. “HEY! LOOK, EVERYONE! IT’S EARTH!!!”   
  
Upon hearing those words, the entire ship ran to crowd the main room in an attempt to get a look at the approaching planet. Even Fluorite and the gems she had been telling stories to emerged to see it. Gasps and cheers of bewilderment filled the room as everyone on the ship got a nice look, some of which was their first, at the beautiful planet that would be their new home.   
  
“It’s so...beautiful,” Topaz spoke quietly, appearing behind them. Her voice cracked as if the sight had brought her to tears.    
  
“Well, what do you know?” Ronaldo asked, reaching down to take Lars’ hand in his own and hold it securely as he watched the ship grow closer to the planet he had grown up on. “We’re home.”   
  


 

  
_ One more tomorrow _

_ Filled with love the whole day through _

_ And then tomorrow I'd beg _

_ For one more tomorrow with you _

  
  
  



	20. Solsbury Hill

 

 

_ So I went from day to day _

_ Though my life was in a rut _

_ Till I thought of what I'd say _

_ And which connection I should cut... _

 

The jubilant song Lars was playing when they’d reached their destination gave their first moments on Earth a magical air to it. As antsy as Lars and Ronaldo both were to return to Beach City and see their families, they knew they had a job to do first: find new homes for all the gems they’d rescued. Taking them all to their cozy beach-side town was a nice thought, but it would have ended in disaster one way or another. 

It made for a fun adventure though, allowing them both a chance to see new parts of the world. Lars was able to revisit his grandparents in the Philippines shortly whilst helping a fusion, Spessartine Garnet, along with a few Rubies and some pink and orange Sapphires relocate. Sure, he had to sort of explain why he’d turned pink, but they took it pretty well. They admitted they’d initially thought he’d just eaten a lot of raw shrimp like a flamingo.

Ronaldo’s favorite part of the trip was the multiple stops in Australia, where he saw not one, not two but three koalas. One of them even ate a leaf! Lars swore he could see his partner crying with happiness but didn’t dare to make fun of him. Not until they got back on the ship, at least.

They were both surprised at how many gems, especially Lapis Lazulis, wanted to live in the ocean. Lars had to remember they didn’t need to breathe like he did, and they’d probably get a lot more out of the deep sea than he ever possibly could. Granted, it  _ was _ a little awkward just letting them jump in the water and leaving it at that. 

The jungle canopies made a great home for a good chunk of the passengers, and once they’d parked the ship, Lars and Ronaldo took a small amount of time to admire the beauty of it all as they walked hand in hand around the jungle floor. Lars couldn’t imagine himself having ever done this back when he was fully human.

After at least two weeks of relocating all the previously imprisoned gems, all that remained was the Off-Color crew, and Lars asked them all if they were sure they wanted to remain part of the crew.

“Y’know, you guys can choose to leave anytime you want. The Earth is pretty great,” he offered.

“ _ It  is  lovely, _ ” Fluorite began, “ _ but  we  would  much  rather  see  it  with  you. _ ”

Lars smiled as the rest of the crew nodded in agreement. Topaz hesitated.

“About twenty minutes before we land,” one of the Rutiles spoke up. “Ready?”

The two pink space voyagers looked at each other and taking each other’s hand, nodded with enthusiastic grins.

“Ready!”

* * *

The ship’s arrival to Beach City was pretty hard to miss. With how loud the engine was and how big it was in the sky as it touched down to Earth’s surface, it caught the attention of most people who were out and about. Vidalia had seen the ship when it flew over her house and telephoned Martha to let her know. Lars’ mother immediately grabbed her husband’s arm and drove the car as fast as she could down to the beach. Mr. Fryman and Peedee had both seen it from the shop window and quickly put up the “Be Right Back!” sign in the window. Even with the advantage of having the shop in front of the beach, the Barrigas beat them to the sand, waiting in earnest for the hatch to open and for their children to step out.

Lars’ attempt to make a dramatic slow-mo entrance off the ship was thwarted by his mother making a beeline for him and nearly knocking him over in a hug as she cried out his name. “Lars!!!”

He couldn’t even be mad, eagerly returning the hug with a tight squeeze and sliding a hand out to let his father in on the hug fest. “Oh my god, I missed you guys,” he laughed and almost cried, feeling tears starting to bead at his eyes.

“We missed you too sweetie!” His mother kissed his cheeks. “Look at you in your little spaceman suit, all grown up-”

“Mom,” he wheezed, feeling a little embarrassed, “not in front of the crew.”

“Oh don’t mind us,” Dante waved at the gems, who were all a little bit puzzled to see this sudden display of affection.

Yellow Zircon muttered to Blue, “Why are those humans latching onto him? Are they trying to fuse?”

Blue shrugged indifferently.

Ronaldo had smiled awkwardly as he approached his family. “Uh h-hey dad!”

“Good lord Ronaldo, what happened to you?! Why did you turn pink?”

“Well uh...long story short I kind of died in space and-”

“You  _ DIED??? _ ” Peedee shrieked, already looking ready to have a heart attack. “IS THAT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN???”

“Well...no, but-”, Ronaldo rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. Well...at least they weren’t crying in a heap.

“Wait a second,” his dad spoke, “if you actually died, how are you alive? And why are you pink? Are you a zombie or is this just one of those games you two play?”   
  
Ronaldo really didn’t know what to say to his family that wouldn’t freak Peedee out or make his dad believe him. Rubbing his forehead, he decided to be as honest as he possibly could right now. “Uh...basically, I died and came back to life and that’s why I’m pink,” he rushed, smiling nervously.   
  
“SO YOU  _ ARE _ A ZOMBIE!?!” Peedee suddenly yelled in horror, hiding behind his dad. “DON’T EAT ME!!! I’M YOUR BROTHER!!!”   
  
“No, I’m not a zombie! Zombies are slow, and their bodies are falling apart, and they can’t move their arms or speak coherently! Don’t you even remember any of those movies I showed you in preparation for a possible zombie apocalypse?” Peedee blinked and shook his head.    
  
Ronaldo sighed and ran a hand through his loose curls. “Look. I’m still me. I’m alive. I’m just pink, and that’s all that changed, I promise!”   
  
He momentarily took a proud stance, hoping that was the end of having this awkward talk with his family but was suddenly taken off guard by a very itchy nose. He’d forgotten how prone to allergies he was back in Beach City since he didn’t seem to be allergic to anything in space. Lifting his hand to his mouth but not soon enough, Ronaldo let out a loud sneeze and noticed a small flash of light that came with it. Blinking his eyes open afterward, he froze in shock when he realized that it had opened up a portal that only a finger could fit through in front of him.

“Oh…and that I guess.”   
  
“WHAT!?!” Peedee yelled frantically, almost in tears of hysteria.    
  
“What in blue blazes is that thing!?!” Mr. Fryman gasped, comfortingly putting a hand on his younger son’s shoulder.    
  
“It’s a-”   
  
“Wow, that’s so cool!” a voice spoke behind them. Turning to see who it was, Ronaldo saw Lars and his parents making their way to stand next to him, Martha beaming in surprise. “Is it like a little portal thingy?”   
  
“Yeah,” he laughed, glancing to Lars as if to ask him for help.   
  
“Can you do that too, Lars?” Dante questioned his son. “You two are the same kind of thing now, right?”   
  
“Yeah,” his son smiled awkwardly. “I can, actually.”   
  
“Oh Lars!” His mother gave him another tight hug. “We’re so proud of you! And you too, Ronnie!” She flashed a warm smile at the other boy.   
  
However, once their hug session had ended, the Frymans were still looking pretty overwhelmed. Noticing this, Lars put his hand on Ronaldo’s back to get his attention.    
  
“Hey, Ronnie?”   
  
“Hmmm?”   
  
His voice fell into a whisper. “I think we should tell them that other thing about us now…”   
  
“Huh?” Ronaldo seemed confused for a second, but quickly seemed to catch onto what he meant. “Oh! Yeah.” 

Clearing his throat, he got his dad and brother’s attention, making sure the Barrigas were listening as well. “Um...dad, Peedee, Mr. and Mrs. Barriga...there’s something else about Lars and I you need to know.”   
  
“What is it?” his dad prodded.   
  
“Oh?” Dante asked.   
  
“Well…” he swallowed hard before confessing, “Lars and I are together now! Like...we’re boyfriends. Dating. All that implies.”   
  
The three parents and his little brother all had an expression of awe on their faces before turning to the couple to congratulate them, except for Peedee who angrily fixated his eyes on Lars. The captain looked equally shocked and was about to speak before Martha cut him off.   
  
“You’re dating Ronnie!?” Martha chirped in pleasant surprise, giving her son an approving pat on the back. “Oh, Lars, that’s wonderful! I’m so proud of you two!”   
  
“Well, I can’t say I saw this coming either,” his dad began, making Ronaldo shrink back in fear for a bit, “but I can say that I approve. I didn’t know you had it in you to find someone! C’mere, little Romeo!” He pulled his son into a tight bear hug, ruffling his hair as he did so.   
  
“Daaaaad,” Ronaldo whined in protest, “I’ve dated like two other people in the past, and you’ve said the same thing!”   
  
Peedee, however, walked over to Lars and gave him a weak punch on the arm. “That’s for if you ever hurt my brother!”   
  
Lars recoiled in surprise more so than pain, for it kind of felt like hitting yourself with a stuffed animal more than an actual punch. But he was still offended. “Hey, watch it! If it weren’t for me, he’d be-wait!” Realizing that he’d gotten off-topic, Lars ran over to Ronaldo and grabbed his arm. “That’s not what I meant! I meant the whole us-being-immortal thing!”   
  
At first Lars thought that Ronaldo was the only one who had heard his statement, but when he turned to see the others, frozen from bewilderment and curiosity around him, he realized that he’d probably raised his voice a bit too much.    
  
Sighing with a heavy heart, him and Ronaldo exchanged a solemn glance with one another. “Yeah, about that...um, it’ll take a while to explain. Maybe we should all go to my place and talk about it?” Lars suggested, looking to his parents who nodded in agreement.

* * *

“...So...yeah,” Lars concluded, “chances are we’re gonna be around for the next several hundred years or so.”

“Maybe longer,” Ronaldo added. They were both sat next to each other facing across from their families.

“...oh Laramie.” Martha looked heartbroken, covering her mouth. “And you didn’t even get old enough to rent a car-”

“Mom, it’s just-” Lars sighed. “I’ll still have birthdays...just none where I don’t get carded.” He ran a hand through his hair.

“And probably fifty visits from child protection services trying to label you as a ward of the state when we both die,” she suddenly added grimly but with the same kindly chirp in her voice. Dante nodded plaintively.

“Uh...great,” Lars stared at her with discomfort. “I’ll...just deal with that too.”

“So I’m gonna get old and wrinkly, and he’s not even gonna age?” Peedee whined, looking at Ronaldo. “That’s a depressing rip-off.”   
  
Mr. Fryman gave Peedee a scolding look and glanced back to his son, his eyes clouded over with worry. “Ronaldo,” he began, “I’m sorry I let you go off into space and get caught up in this…”   
  
“No, dad!” Ronaldo replied, trying his hardest not to raise his voice too much. “I  _ wanted _ to do this with Lars! It’s not your fault I’m like this now. At all. If it’s anyone’s, it my own, really, but-”

Before he could continue, Dante spoke while patting Mr. Fryman’s shoulder gently. “I understand how you feel,” he comforted him. “Martha and I felt the same way when Lars came home like this.   
  
“Of course we didn’t know about the whole immortality business back then,” Martha added, “or even that he has powers, but it’s still kind of shocking to suddenly see your son get all pink and magical after spending several months in space. It wasn’t even in any of the parenting manuals we read!”   
  
“I suppose you’re right,” Mr. Fryman sighed. “You sure you’re okay with being like this though, Ronaldo?”   
  
“Yeah! I love it, actually!” the pink human announced. “I’ve always wanted superpowers! And now I’m like some kind of gem-slash-alien thing too, I guess. And even though the whole immortality thing kinda sucks, at least I know someone else who’s dealing with it too.” He turned to Lars, giving him a warm and reassuring smile.

Martha spoke up. “Oh, by the way…you’ll have to get new hairbrushes. There’s pink in all of the ones Lars touched since then.”

“Uh...thanks,” Mr. Fryman looked at her oddly. This woman had strange priorities.

Lars squeezed Ronaldo’s hand. “We’re only planning to stay in town for a week, though. Then we’re heading back to space for...things.”

“Oh? What kind of things?” Dante asked with a curious look.

“Uh...space...traveller...things,” Lars decided to leave it at that, not wanting to get into the whole “intergalactic criminal and resistance instigator” part of his life now.

“Oh honey, you’re not...doing _drugs_ in space, are you?” Martha looked at him with utmost concern.

“Wh-? No!” Lars recoiled and shook his head.

“Oh good! Because if you really wanted to do something like that, you should do it in the safety of our house-”

“Oh my god, mom! We’re not doing drugs!!” he groaned. “What, you think I’m flying out to Planet Mary Jane to get some cosmic weed or something?”

“Is that a real planet?” She smiled with a sudden deep interest.   


Lars stared at her blankly for a good handful of seconds before silently getting up and laying down on another sofa, staring at the ceiling with the most exhausted look he could have achieved in such a short amount of time.

Ronaldo decided to get the conversation back on track. “Look, it’s more like...well, we’ve found a bigger calling than our lives on Earth, and we’re really doing good things out in space. You saw those gems we brought back with us right?” He waited to see their nods of affirmation, then held his hands out. “Well originally we had a lot more on the ship that we rescued, and we helped them all find places to stay on Earth! They love it here!”

“What do you mean “rescue?” Were they in danger?” Peedee piped up.

“More or less, yeah,” he sighed. “Their home planet is...not very democratic, let’s put it that way.”   
  
“So...you and Lars have a job rescuing aliens now?” Mr. Fryman asked.

“Uhhh...yep.”   
  
The two looked at one another for a while, and Ronaldo felt a lump forming in his throat. He knew his father had a more traditional outlook on life than he did. What if he wanted him to stay home and not go back to space with Lars? Of course he would want that, especially after what happened to him there. But Ronaldo didn’t want that and hoped his dad could respect his decision.   
  
Suddenly, Mr. Fryman wrapped his arms tightly around Ronaldo, and pulled him into another hug. Shocked by this, he froze for a moment. “Ronaldo,” his dad told him, “I can’t even _ begin _ to tell you how proud of you I am. I don’t really understand what it is you’re doing out there, but it sounds like a big deal to those rock aliens and knowing that it makes you happy is only a plus.”   
  
He began to tear up at his father’s words. Out of all the things his dad had ever said to him, this had to be one of the most meaningful. He’d never expected his dad to be proud of him for anything, let alone running away from the family business to be a space pirate.    
  
“Yeah,” Peedee followed up, also joining the hug. “You’re the best undead pink brother a guy could have.”   
  
Ronaldo did his best to hug both of them back, realizing just how much he missed his family while he’d been away. “Thanks guys. I love you.” He looked up at his father with pleading eyes. “Does this mean I get to go back?”   
  
Mr. Fryman laughed and gave his son’s hair a ruffle. “Of course it does.”   
  
As the Frymans continued to have an impromptu family bonding session, Lars awkwardly approached them. “Hey Ronnie, I don’t mean to break up the beautiful family reunion over here, but do you wanna stay the night? It’s getting pretty late, and while we don’t need to sleep, they do.” He motioned over to his parents.   
  
“Oh!” Ronaldo gasped, cueing his family to let go. “Of course I do, if that’s okay.” He looked to his dad, who nodded his approval. Peedee only stuck his tongue out in disgust and walked to the side, not wanting to be anywhere near the two lovebirds.   
  
“It is. I just thought you might miss your lighthouse and all.”   
  
“Nah, I can go there tomorrow morning.” Ronaldo blushed. “Besides, if I went anywhere else for the night, I’d miss you.”   
  
His comment made Lars giggle and blush as well. He reached in and gave Ronaldo a small kiss on the nose, which caused Peedee to yell “GET A ROOM!” and in return, get scolded by his father.   
  
“Fair enough,” Lars said with a smile. “We should probably wait until tomorrow to tell Sadie and everyone we’re home too. She’d kill me, or try to at least, if I called her this late.”   
  
“Yeah,” Ronaldo suggested, suddenly letting out a small laugh. “Oh man, Sadie’s gonna freak the fuck out when she sees me.”   
  
“Yep. Did I ever tell you about how she reacted to me when I first came home?”    
  
“Oh my gosh, no! That sounds like a doozy.”   
  
“Oh, it is. Trust me.”   
  
Lars and Ronaldo continued to converse as their parents shared knowing glances with one another, finding comfort in the fact that although their children had grown up to be pink immortal space pirates, they at least found comfort in one another and were putting their newly-found powers to a good use.   


* * *

“Fluorite, how are those engines?”   
  
“ _ They’re  working  at  their  full  ability. _ ”   
  
“Alrighty! C’mon guys! Let’s get a move on! Those imprisoned gems aren’t gonna free themselves!”    
  
Lars waved at the several gems who were crowding around his ship to board. They took heed of his directions and started making their way toward the ship, one by one.    
  
After a week, he had said a heartfelt goodbye to his parents and friends and was now boarding their ship to blast off again into another adventure with Ronaldo and the rest of his crew. Although saying goodbye to his home and everyone there was hard, he was surprisingly eager to get back into space, and the fact that he’d be visiting Earth pretty often to drop off the gems him and his crew would rescue filled him with a sense of comfort. The same went for his crewmates, who all had a lot of fun on their visit to his home planet.   
  
The Rutiles were the first to board, smiling and talking amongst themselves as they did so. Before they sat down at their pilot chair, one turned her head to get Lars’ attention.   
  
“Captain!” she spoke. “Did you get what I asked for?”    
  
Chuckling, Lars walked over and handed the gem a can of soda. “Sure did. Just don’t get it all over the control panel, okay?”   
  
“I won’t! Thanks Captain!” She immediately began to chug it, causing her twin to laugh and roll her eyes.   
  
Rhodonite was the next to step on board, looking around with an expression that was half-nervous and half-excited. Lars made his way over to her and patted her on the shoulder.   
  
“Hey uh...if going to the prison planet is too much for you and all, you can stay behind and guard the ship with Fluorite. We all understand.” He gave her a smile of reassurance.    
  
The fusion grinned back. “Thanks for understanding, but I think I’m good.”   
  
“You sure?” Lars definitely wasn’t expecting her to get over her fear of a place that did so many horrible things to her.   
  
“Yep!” She winked at him. “I know I was too scared to do much there before, but when I met those other gems we saved, I noticed how many of them are just like me. It really made me think about how my situation isn’t exactly uncommon on Homeworld. I’m sure there are thousands waiting to be saved right now, and I want to help them and fight for them as much as I can, just like you and the rest of the crew do!”   
  
The captain was taken by surprise but definitely proud of her sudden surge of bravery and willingness to overcome her greatest fear so she could save those who were in a similar place in their lives. It was a feeling he knew all too well. “Okay, but if you need to sit a mission out or go back early, that’s fine with me.” She nodded enthusiastically and gave Lars a thumbs-up.    
  
Soon after their conversation, Padparadscha ran onto the ship as quickly as she could. “Yeah!” she cheered in response to Lars’ former statement. “Let’s go save some gems!”   
  
The Zircons were the next gems on board. Their arms were linked as usual, Yellow Zircon wearing her usual smug grin and Blue Zircon looking as if she was the one who had come back from the dead. They were both holding mugs in their free hands. Blue’s had a cute cartoon koala on it, and Yellow’s had a picture some anime girl Lars didn’t recognize on the front and something in Japanese written on the back.   
  
“Jesus,” Lars remarked, turning to Blue, “what happened to her?”   
  
“She discovered sleep,” Yellow laughed. “And I think she misses it.”   
  
“Easy for you to say, Miss Snores-a-lot,” Blue grumbled, taking a long sip out of her mug.   
  
“What’s with the cups?”   
  
“Oh, Ronaldo gave these to us,” Blue continued. “It’s so we can drink coffee.”   
  
“Her second favorite Earth thing next to sleeping,” Yellow remarked in an aside to Lars.   
  
“He showed you coffee?” Lars rubbed his forehead. Of course he did.   
  
“Yep!” Blue smiled widely, taking another drink.   
  
“So that’s why he asked Peridot to hook up a coffee machine in the main room?” Both of the Zircons nodded. “Figures.”   
  
He noticed that although she held a steaming hot cup of coffee in her hand, Blue still looked as if she would pass out at any moment. “Hey,” he informed her, “since I’m sharing a room with Ron now, I was going to ask you two if you’d like to have my old one. I fixed it up for you guys just in case. You can sleep all you want there, and you wouldn’t have to make out in ours anymore.”   
  
Blue spat out the sip of coffee she was taking and nervously tugged at her cravat. Yellow, blushing as well, pointed a finger at the captain. “Don’t make me put your head in a bubble again! But yes, I suppose that sounds lovely.”   
  
“Oh thank the stars, I have a place to sleep!” Blue sighed in relief.   
  
“Which it looks like you need to do right now,” Yellow remarked, tugging on Blue’s arm. “Let’s go check out that room, shall we?” The other Zircon nodded in response, and the two walked away from Lars and toward their new headquarters.   
  
Lars took a moment to snicker at Yellow’s comment, but then realized something. Ronaldo hadn’t shown up yet. He had been right behind him for most of the day, but when Fluorite started to check the engine, he said he needed to get something last minute and made a run for the lighthouse. The captain was starting to wonder if he should go look for him when the sound of footsteps running as fast as they could up the ship’s stairs alerted him.   
  
“Sorry I’m late!” Ronaldo called as he made his way into the ship. Lars was about to open his mouth to ask where the hell he’d gone off to but was caught off guard when he realized that his partner had changed clothes. Instead of his usual button-up and khakis, Ronaldo now wore a dressier white shirt with a long blue pirate’s coat, complete with brown pants and tall black boots. His hair was also tied up into a ponytail, for it had gotten pretty long, and he’d decided that he wanted to grow it out rather than cut it.    
  
“Ronnie…” Lars whispered, finding it hard to speak thanks to how flustered the other’s new look was making him.   
  
“What do you think?” he asked, smiling shyly. “I spent all night putting it together! The coat is actually a part of a cosplay I made about a year before I went to space. It still fits perfectly!”   
  
“You look  _ incredible _ .” The mostly-speechless captain made loving eye contact with him for a while, before realizing someone else was missing too. “Wait...have you seen Topaz?”

* * *

Lars had been right. The sunset on Earth  _ was _ beautiful.

Topaz could stare at it as long as it lasted and could even wait to see it again the next day, sitting on the hill right behind the lighthouse.

If only she could stay. 

She turned her head when she heard the sound of exhaustive running and breathing, seeing Lars and Ronaldo trying to race each other up the hill, probably having been sprinting right from the ship. “T-Topaz!” Ronaldo wheezed. “There you are! We were looking all over for you.”

“We’re about to head out,” Lars added, leaning against Ronaldo as he caught his breath. “You ready to roll?”

She blinked, snapping out of her dreamy trance from admiring the horizon, and paused before she nodded. “O-oh. Yeah...we’re...both ready I guess.”

Lars and Ronaldo looked at each other, sensing the hesitance in her voice, and then Lars spoke up. “Are...you sure?”

“Y-Yeah!” she nodded, trying to smile as enthusiastically as possible, but it wasn’t fooling them. Even the awfully gullible Ronaldo.

“Do you want to stay on Earth?” He tilted his head a little.

“Yes! I mean, no, but-” She was terrible at lying and was tripping over her tongue, until she sighed. “I...really like it here. And well...I feel like a week was hardly long enough to really enjoy the place, and all those other places we saw here were so beautiful. I just want to, well, um-”

“Don’t sweat it, Banana, you can stay here as long as you want.” Lars grinned, giving her finger guns.

“...You’re not mad?”

“Heck no! You spent what I’m just gonna assume was your whole life up until now in spaceships, following orders and not getting to do what you wanted. If anything, you deserve to enjoy the Earth! Besides, we got plenty of backup in space.”

Beaming from ear to ear, Topaz immediately launched them into a hug, wrapping her huge arms around Lars and squeezing him tight, lifting him high in the air.

“Ahahahaha okay, you enjoy yourself!” he gasped, kicking his legs a little. “I can’t breathe…”

“O-Oops!” She laughed, putting him down and dusting him off, then looked around. “Well...where could I stay? I mean, in this city for the time being? I think Rose- er- Steven’s home is well...not big enough for the two of us. And I don’t think the Peridot and Lapis Lazuli at the barn would want another roommate.”

Lars was thinking of possible places she could live when Ronaldo looked behind her at the tall brick structure that was his beloved lighthouse and smiled warmly. “I think I know a place.”

* * *

Once the two had said their goodbyes to Topaz and Ronaldo had passed the lighthouse down to her, the two humans boarded their ship. After checking one more time to make sure the engines were working and that the coordinates on the Rutiles’ control panel were set correctly, they were off. As the ship began to quickly ascend and leave the planet behind, Lars found himself looking out the window and watching as his home grew smaller and smaller, trying his best not to tear up.    
  
Noticing he was getting emotional, Ronaldo gently grabbed for his hand. “Ready for another adventure, Captain Lars?”   
  
Turning to look at Ronaldo, Lars’ mind was suddenly free of his previous bittersweet thoughts and all his focus was nearly instantly on how glad he was that he had someone very special to share his space travels with now.   
  
“Of course I am, First Mate Ronnie.”   
  
Ronaldo’s eyes grew wide at how Lars addressed him, and he squeezed the other’s hand in excitement. “Wait, did you just promote me!?!”   
  
Lars laughed to himself and leaned in to give Ronaldo a quick and gentle kiss on the lips. “You deserve it. Welcome to the Off-Colors, Ronnie.”   
  
The newly-declared first mate looked as if he were about to tear up for a second. “Thanks, Lars. I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else.”   
  
After gazing into one another’s eyes for what seemed like forever, Ronaldo was the one who abruptly broke the silence.   
  
“Hey, it’s getting kinda quiet in here. How about we turn on that tape player of yours?”   
  
“Sure thing!” Lars reached into his pocket, feeling around for the device but couldn’t find anything. He worriedly thrust his hand into the other pocket, confirming his worst fear. “Shit!”    
  
“What is it?”   
  
“I left my tape player at home!” Lars began to internally panic at the thought of going so long without music, but his thoughts were cut short when Ronaldo let out a bloodcurdling scream and clutched his head.    
  
“ _ WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?! _ ”   


“Ronnie!” Lars ran over to him, and the entire crew moved their focus toward the wailing first mate, whose head was now emitting a white glow.   
  
Before the captain could do anything, Steven popped out of Ronaldo’s head with the tape player in his hand. “Laaaaars! You left this on the kitchen table, and your mom told me to give it to yooooou! Wait...” The boy looked down and realized his mistake, gritting his teeth nervously. “Ohhhh...heh. Sorry, Ronaldo. It’s kind of hard to tell your trees apart when I can only stay in there so long without breathing.”   
  
Ronaldo was panting and still had a horrified look on his face. “I-It’s...okay….”   
  
“Thanks Steven.” Lars awkwardly snatched the tape player from his friend, still rather shaken from Ronaldo’s reaction. “See you in a few days!”   
  
“You two have fun in space freeing gems! Byeeeee!” Steven took a gulp of air and hurriedly hopped back into the pocket dimension, causing Ronaldo to sigh in relief.    
  
“That feels so fuckin’ weird,” he commented shakily, patting his hair.   
  
“Oh, tell me about it!” Lars laughed. “It took me weeks to get used to-GAAAH!”   
  
Steven popped out of Lars’ head, instantly looking around at his surroundings and awkwardly chuckling. “Oh geez, sorry Lars. This is really confusing!”    
  
“I-It’s okay, Steven.”   
  
He nodded at Lars one last time, took another deep breath and left through the captain’s head portal. Once it had been about a minute, and the two were sure that Steven had made his way back home, Lars held up the tape player and pressed play.   
  
Music, laughter and conversations filled the ship as Lars, his trusty first mate Ronnie and the wonderful crew of Off-Colors flew through the universe, ready for whatever adventures they would face and excited to do so together.   
  


_ Today I don't need a replacement _

_ I'll tell them what the smile on my face meant _

_ My heart going boom, boom, boom _

_ Hey, I said, you can keep my things they've come to take me home _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being on this crazy journey with us! Next chapter is the epilogue!


	21. Epilogue: Age

_Several Months Later_

Lars had been in such a deep slumber that he was more than a little disoriented as he was jarred awake by the excitable jostling exposed to him by Ronaldo, who was shaking him awake.

“GET UUUUUUP!!!” Ronaldo cheerfully shouted in his ear, and Lars scrambled like a roach flipped on its back as he tried to sit up and awaken. His mouth felt like it was glued shut before he burst out a panicked reply. “WHAT?!”

“Iiiiiit’s somebody’s birthday today!” The first mate grinned, sitting on his knees on the bed as he gently bounced with excitement.

“Gee. Wonder who that is.” Lars yawned, rubbing his eyes with a slight smile. He didn’t care much about birthdays, but Ronaldo seemed to love celebrating them for his friends...just not his own (for identity protection!).

“Another year, another kiss on the nose!” Ronaldo chirped, proceeding to peck the tip of his boyfriend’s nose a consecutive 20 times.

“Jesus Christ, Ronnie, by the time I’m 100, you’re just gonna be slowly eating my nose off,” Lars snickered, wrinkling it as he felt the tickling sensation. He sat up further, stretching out. “Hey, you’re already dressed?”

“Had some stuff to do earlier this morning, decided to let the birthday boy sleep,” he teased gently. “You should get dressed too.”

“I wanna go say hi to the crew first and-”

“NO!!!” Ronaldo suddenly shouted, then caught himself. “I-I mean, why not just get dressed so you don’t walk around in your pajamas?”

“...Since when have you cared about me doing that? I do it every morning around here,” Lars joked, having gotten comfortable enough with his crew that he could walk from his room, to the galley and back wearing nothing but a t-shirt and boxers and nobody batted an eye.

“Uhhhhh...” Ronaldo tried to come up with another lie and stall Lars as much as possible. “Why don’t I just...help you with your clothes?”

“...are you trying to be sexy? It’s...a different approach.”

“Uhhhh….yes!” Ronaldo immediately nodded his head, still grinning nervously. He was about to suggest they fool around a little when he felt something emerge from his head and screamed, immediately forcing what appeared to be Steven back in before the kid could even breathe while he laughed with obvious nervousness.

Lars just stared at him, absolutely confused. “Okay, what the heck is going on?”

“Nothing!” Ronaldo immediately shouted, getting up to run out of the room. “Just stay right there! I uh...have breakfast for you!” he lied, the door slamming shut right behind him. Lars sat on the bed, wondering what the heck had just happened.

When Ronaldo returned five minutes later with breakfast and messy hair, he grinned in relief. “Oh good! You’re dressed.”

“Uh-huh.” Lars gave him a sardonic look as he sat on the edge of the bed with his arms crossed and one knee draped over the other. “Soooo...you wanna tell me what’s up?”

“I will but only after you eat!”

Lars looked at the plate of what appeared to be Ronaldo’s attempt to make a smiley face out of eggs and bacon, but the eggs ran, and the bacon was burnt. It looked like it was crying.

“Uh...I’ll...pass.” Lars smiled tightly, deciding he didn’t like the burning smell.

“Then let’s at least cuddle?”

“Ronnie, I’m getting up now, and there’s nothing you can do about it,” Lars finally announced. “You’re up to something, and I need to go out there and make sure the ship’s not on fire and that nobody is dead.”

“I promise you nothing of the sort has happened!”

“You did something to my ship, and I’m gonna find out,” he leered.  “...waaaait….did you get me a puppy? I told you _no puppies_ because they will shit everywhere, and then the whole ship will smell like shit, and soon we’ll have to dump all that shit onto a planet where it will effectively become _space shit_. And I don’t want to-”

“Not a puppy!” Ronaldo assured. “Or any animals! Just-”

“Then what the fuck is it?” Lars snorted, slapping the button impatiently to open the door, and walking out into the galley.

 _“SURPRISE!!!”_  
  
Standing outside of Lars and Ronaldo’s shared bedroom was a crowd of Lars’ closest friends from both Earth and space. His crew was there, along with his parents, Steven, Sadie, Topaz and even the Cool Kids. Everyone was either wearing a party had or had a noise-maker in their hand, save for Steven who was wearing two party hats and had three noise-makers. At first, the captain couldn’t even believe what he was seeing.

“Happy birthday, Lars!” Steven announced, running up to him. He put a party hat on his head and shoved a party horn in his mouth.  
  
“What’s going on?” Lars asked, voice muffled by the party horn that he quickly spit out after speaking.  
  
“It’s a surprise birthday party!” the half-gem cheered, everyone else around him smiling wide.  
  
“Steven and I planned it just for you,” Ronaldo chimed in, giving his partner a gentle nudge.  
  
“Your father and I baked the cake!” Martha beamed, nodding over to a large ube roll with a candle in the middle of it sitting on a nearby table.  
  
Lars was speechless. Out of all the years he had been alive, he’d never had a birthday party this big before. Looking around at all the happy faces there to greet him and wish him a happy birthday brought small tears to his eyes that he wiped off with the sleeve of his shirt.  
  
“Wow…I-I don’t even know what to say,” he laughed modestly. “Honestly, thank you guys so much!” He glanced up at Ronaldo as if to silently applaud his first mate for bringing everyone together.  
  
“And that’s not all!” Steven said jubilantly. “We got gifts!” He pointed to the corner of the ship near the cake, where several wrapped presents were sitting. As if on cue, everyone in the room retrieved theirs and lined up to give Lars whatever it was they had for him.  
  
Rhodonite and Padparadscha were the first to give Lars a present. “We got this together!” Rhodonite informed, handing him a round object badly wrapped in toilet paper.  
  
“Surprise!” Padparadscha cheered a little too late.  
  
Carefully unwrapping the present, Lars was soon met face-to-face with a large potato that had indentations on it resembling a smiley face. Although it wasn’t what he’d had in mind for his first present of the day, it brought a huge smile to his face, and he couldn’t help but stifle a laugh.  
  
“What do you think?” Rhodonite asked. “Ronaldo found it for us!”  
  
Lars looked over to his partner, who shrugged with a joking chuckle. “It’s lovely, guys!” he laughed, giving Rhodonite a hug and Padparadscha a gentle pat on the head. “Thanks!”  
  
“You are welcome!”

Rhodonite nudged Padparadscha to let the next in line go, who happened to be the Rutile twins. They had their present placed in a see-through grocery bag so it was pretty obvious what it was, but Lars took it out and pretended to be surprised anyway. It was a toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste.  
  
Again, it wasn’t what he had in mind, but he couldn’t help but be flattered. “Wow, thanks guys! I’ll definitely use this every day!”  
  
“We’re glad you like it,” one of the Rutiles smiled.  
  
“That stuff is delicious!” the other one beamed, pointing to the toothpaste.  
  
“Heh, it sure is!” Lars pretended to agree awkwardly.  
  
Fluorite was the next one up, carrying a rather thin yet overall well-wrapped present in one of her hands. She sat it at Lars’ feet with a warm expression, and he smiled at her, immediately starting to unwrap it.  
  
“Oh my gosh!” he exclaimed, biting into his lip so he wouldn’t laugh out loud. “It’s a stick!”  
  
The large fusion gently chuckled. “ _I  know  you  miss  the  Earth  quite  often  so  I  took  it  upon  myself  to  bring  a  piece  of  it  back  for  you  to  keep  with  you  no  matter  where  you  are_ .”  
  
The sentiment behind Fluorite giving Lars a stick for his birthday threatened to bring tears to his eyes. “Wow, thank you so much, Fluorite. I’m gonna cherish this stick forever.”  
  
“ _I’m  glad  you  will._ ” She gave him one last comforting grin before stepping aside, revealing a shyly smiling Topaz holding something behind her back.  
  
“Hey there,” Lars greeted her. “How’s the Earth treating you?”  
  
“It’s so beautiful there!” she exclaimed wistfully. “I miss you and the crew, but I really do love Earth.”  
  
“I’m glad you’re enjoying it.” His heart was filled with joy to know that Topaz was finally able to experience freedom.  
  
“Oh! I got you something.” She looked away nervously for a bit. “I didn’t have time to wrap it but uh...here.” Removing her hands from behind her back, she revealed a plush shark similar to the tattered one Lars kept in his room. “I thought Sharky might want a friend. I know Topaz and Topaz would always get so lonely when they had to be apart from one another.”  
  
Great, he went from almost crying over a stick to actually tearing up a little over a stuffed shark. Taking the plush from Topaz’s hands and giving it a quick hug, he thanked her. “Oh Topaz, I love it, and I’m sure Sharky will too. Thank you so much!”  
  
Beaming in response, the fusion stepped out of line to reveal the Zircons, both holding party sacks that were respectively blue and yellow. They shared a glance, and Blue Zircon looked to Yellow Zircon as if pleading her to go first so she took the lead.  
  
“Greetings, captain!” she spoke. “Although I am rather unfamiliar with the concept of “birthing days,” I have taken it upon myself to find the best possible gift I could for you. While Ronaldo took us to a “mall” to do some “shopping,” I saw this in a window claiming it was for someone special, and seeing that you are my beloved captain, I absolutely had to purchase it with you in mind. With Ronaldo’s help because apparently you have to give humans some green permission slip before they let you take anything from that place home with you.”  
  
“Awww, thank you, Yellow! That means a lot.” Lars had a feeling something was up by the way Ronaldo was snickering but tried not to think too much of it. He accepted the gift and quickly opened it. However, when he took a look inside, he almost immediately burst out laughing.  
  
“Oh my god!”  
  
“Awww c’mon Lars!” Ronaldo jested in a singsong voice. “You have to show everyone else what you got!”  
  
“Oh god, fine.” Lars tried his best to control his laughter, not wanting Yellow to get offended, and took out the gift: a very pink and very frilly set of lingerie.  
  
The humans on the ship almost all erupted into laughter, while the gems appeared to be awestruck.  
  
“ _It’s  so  lovely,_ ” Fluorite complemented, batting her eyelids.  
  
“Oh, I have some just like that!” Martha’s voice caused the nearby humans to turn in shock. Dante nudged her nervously, and Lars suddenly felt like retreating into his room forever.  
  
“Wow...this is...great!” he spoke with gritted teeth. “Thank you very much, Yellow!” Hastily shoving the lingerie back into the bag, he took a deep breath and turned to Blue.  
  
“Oh, is it my turn?” she asked. When Lars nodded in response, she handed his present to him with a timid grin. “I hope you like it!”  
  
“I’m sure I’ll love it,” he reassured her, thrusting his hand into the sack and taking out a dark red coffee mug. “Oh wow! Blue this is really, really nice…...oh.”  
  
“W-What is it?”  
  
“Well, I love it a lot but...I’m not exactly a “dad” yet.” He turned the mug around to reveal the words “World’s #1 Dad” on the front.  
  
“I told you dad isn’t a synonym for captain!” Yellow’s snidely remarked, snickering a little.  
  
“Well forgive me for not knowing every human word right off the bat!” Blue retorted, sighing. “I’m sorry, I-”  
  
“No, no, no, don’t worry about it!” Lars patted the Zircon on the back. “This is a really great mug, and my old one was getting chipped! And hey, who knows? Maybe I will be uh...a dad some day.” His statement made Ronaldo cough loudly in the background as if he had something large lodged in his throat.  
  
“Yeah!” Blue gave a small grin. “I’m glad you like your uh...dad mug?”  
  
“I love it! Thanks, Blue.” She nodded to him one more time and turned to leave with Yellow.

Buck Dewey stepped forward with Jenny and Sour Cream on either side of him. “Alright, Earth people’s turn. The three of us pitched in to make this!” He held up a T-shirt that said “BINGO BONGO” in bright bold letters. “Behold, it’s your brand.”

Lars was snorting and turning bright red as he accepted the article of clothing, tucking it under his arm. “I’ll be sure to wear it soon! Thanks a lot, you guys.” He felt a lot less awkward around the cool kids nowadays, something he couldn’t help but feel slight pride in.  
  
“I guess it’s my turn now?” Sadie gave a small smile as she stepped forward, holding up a stack of DVDs. “These are some of the ones we didn’t get to watch before you left and a few my mom pilfered from the lost mail bin. I don’t know if you have a DVD player in here, but-”

Lars suddenly hauled her up in a big hug, lifting her off the ground. “Heck yes I do! What is a space ship without some sort of DVD slot?”

“...Still a space ship?” she laughed awkwardly, legs dangling.

“Well, a lame space ship, yeah,” Lars snickered, placing her back on the ground and giving her another hug. “Thank you, Sadie. And hey, if you and Steven ever wanna pop in for a few and watch some of these with me and the others, be our guest.”

Before Sadie could say anything else, the static of the ship’s screen automatically turning on spooked her (and anyone else not familiar with the ship), revealing Emerald with her teeth viciously bared. Before she could start her aggressive ramble declaring her desire to turn Lars into a trophy for her ship, she paused, seeing all the new faces on board and the hideously colored decor on the ship that was placed everywhere. And what were they all wearing?  Armor? If it was, it was certainly the worst armor she’d ever seen.

“What...in the name of Optimus...is _this?_ ”

“Oh! Who are you?” Martha chirped, immediately hospitable. “Are you one of Lars’ other little space friends?”  
  
“He never told us about you!” Dante chimed in. “But don’t worry about it, he’s kind of quiet about his social life around us.”

“Wh-? I am certainly not this vermin’s acquaintance, much less a friend!” Emerald immediately snarled. “I’m just calling to warn him of-”  
  
“Nice fur,” Buck cut her off. “Real trendy. I like it.”  
  
“Whoa, how’d you get your hair to do that?!” Sour Cream gasped in awe.  
  
“And your makeup!” Jenny praised her. “I wish I could get my eyeliner look like that!”  
  
“A-Are those teeth real?” Sadie shyly piped up.

“Oh, and I just love your cape!” Martha joined in, sweet as strawberries. “Why it matches your eyes- er...eye! Sorry.”

Emerald began to gush, “Oh why, thank you. I had it-” she immediately spasmed into a flurry of realization and rage. “AUGH!!! YOUR FLATTERY IS MISLEADING!!!”

“Oh, now, don’t be so modest…” Martha began, starting to ramble on and on, much to Emerald’s dismay and the other humans’ amusement and curiosity. Lars had to laugh when she screamed at them all to quit being nice to her. She couldn’t stand all this... _goodness_.

Ronaldo took the opportunity to pull Lars aside. “I guess it’s time for my present while they’re all busy keeping her company?”  
  
“Y-You got me a present?” Lars’ face was already flushing a dark magenta. “Oh, Ronnie, you didn’t have to-”  
  
“Ah ah ah!” He stopped him from speaking by thrusting a carefully wrapped silver package with a ribbon around it in his hands. “We can talk later. Open it!”  
  
“Okay, okay.” Lars began to carefully unwrap the gift that Ronaldo had given him, almost feeling bad for ruining such a perfectly wrapped present. Once all the paper had come off, the contents of the well-decorated box were revealed. In his hands was a picture the two of them had taken with Ronaldo’s old polaroid camera when they were both around 7 years old. It had the words “Beach City Explorer Club” scribbled on with sharpie at the bottom, now carefully placed in a golden heart-shaped picture frame. Not knowing what to say, Lars stared down at the gift with wide eyes for what seemed like ages.  
  
“D-Do you like it?” Ronaldo finally broke the silence. “I know it’s kinda old, but I remembered I had it in my desk drawer back at the lighthouse and thought you’d like to have it. I figured I could frame it so we could put it on our nightstand or something like that?”  
  
As soon as he finished speaking, Lars replied by instantly pulling him into a tender kiss on the lips, tears of happiness streaming down his face. Ronaldo returned it, running a hand up and into his partner’s pink curly hair as they did so. Once they broke for air, Ronaldo held Lars’ face in his hands, wiping away some of the falling tears with his thumb.  
  
“It’s beautiful, Ronnie,” Lars finally choked out, smiling through his tears of joy. “Thank you.”  
  
“No, thank you. For being the best undead pink space pirate boyfriend another undead pink space pirate could have.”

Their tender moment was cut off by the fed-up hollering of Emerald as she disconnected the call to avoid any further interaction with the humans and there was awkward silence.

With a shrug, Martha smiled. “Guess that’s a good signal to give Lars our present, honey?” She reached for Dante’s hand, and he nodded in agreement.

They both approached Lars with a neatly wrapped present no bigger than a shoebox. “This is for you, sweetie.”

Lars began to tear at the paper, muttering that he guessed it was a shoebox, then stared at it with a sardonic grin once it was unwrapped. “...It really is a shoebox!”

“Open it up.” His dad smiled, looking pretty eager.

Lars fully expected some cheesy gift like mittens or an old childhood toy, but he certainly didn’t expect what he saw in the box. It was a new cassette player, in much better shape than the previous ones he’d been keeping and struggling to fix and tune up as they wore out from use. In awe, he picked it up out of the box and examined in, eyes going wide as he saw his name engraved on the back.

“I-Is this for me?”

“I know you liked the ones you borrowed from me, and you were so nice to let your friends use them as well,” Martha spoke sweetly, hugging him with one arm, “so I figured you’d like one to keep to yourself.”

“A-awww guys!” He burst out with a mix of a sob and a giggle, hugging his mother and father tight, and embraced the new player in his hands. “I love it! Thank you!!!”

“We even put a brand new tape in there for you,” his mother winked, “for your collection.”

Lars pocketed the cassette player, beaming from ear to ear as he thanked them again and wiped at his eyes with the heel of his hand. “Well speaking of my collection, what’s a party without some music? Twins, fire up the speakers!”

The party lasted long into the hours, ending almost too soon in Lars’ opinion. After bidding his Earth friends farewell, and his parents a hug and kiss goodbye, they all followed Steven out through Ronaldo’s hair. Once it was just the crew left, Lars thanked them all again for the amazing surprise party.

“I wish you guys had birthdays. Because then I’d celebrate the hell out of all of them,” Lars snickered tiredly, bidding them all a goodnight as he went to his and Ronaldo’s shared sleeping quarters.

He changed into nightwear as he settled down in bed, only to be joined moments later by an equally tired Ronaldo who was muttering about never getting used to people using his head as a door. He took a look at Lars and smiled. “Comfy?”

“Mhm.” Lars nodded, scooting over to allow the other room once he’d stripped down to his undershirt and boxers. “Parties always tire me out.”

“Same here,” Ronaldo sighed, pausing before he climbed into bed. He then pulled out something from underneath it, lighting a match on a candle as he presented Lars with a birthday muffin. “I meant to give this to you at breakfast, but I think muffins taste better refrigerated. It’s pumpkin.”

“...No kiddin’, my favorite,” Lars said with a smile. “I always kept ‘em in the fridge too.”  
  
The captain giggled as his first mate sat right behind him as if he would let Lars use him like a chair, and he relaxed back against him. Ronaldo put the birthday treat in front of him, and with a sleepy smile, Lars blew out the candle.

“Happy birthday,” Ronaldo mumbled as he pecked Lars on the cheek and repositioned himself so he could snuggle back down in bed, yawning as he still held onto the other and not planning anytime soon to let him go.

Lars soon heard him snoring and decided to pull out his new cassette player, sliding on his headphones and pressed play, hearing the golden notes of the soft and sweet tune his parents gifted him touch his ears. He happily melted into the unconscious snuggle from Ronaldo, and feeling drunk on emotion and gratefulness for having such a great family, both in space and on Earth, he began to sing along ever so softly.

Unbeknownst to him, Ronaldo heard it. And he thought it was beautiful.

 

 _I've traded love for pennies_  
_Sold my soul for less_  
_Lost my ideals in that long tunnel of time_  
_And I've turned inside out and around about and back and then_ _  
Found myself right back where I started again..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for following us through this story. We had a blast writing it, and hope to do more with this universe in the future!


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